Orange juice and toothpaste: The story of the Indiana Pacers

A couple of days ago I made the fatal mistake of brushing my teeth and then drinking orange juice. We've all done it. You get your morning routine mixed-up and you're left with an extremely bad taste in your mouth. And it doesn't just go away. The toothpaste/orange juice combination is lethal.\nIn fact, the only time I've been left with a worst taste in my mouth was in early May when the Indiana Pacers bowed out of the playoffs in typical disappointing fashion.\nSo the Pacers and its respected front office duo of Larry Bird and Donnie Walsh set off this summer to revamp the roster. It was clear the Pacers needed a serious personnel overhaul.\nAnd, disappointingly, that meant no more Peja Stojakovic. After being brought over in exchange for Ron Artest, Peja appropriately used Indiana as the Crossroads of the NBA and signed with the New Orleans Hornets for approximately 300 billion dollars. OK, so maybe the contract wasn't that rich -- but you get the idea.\nIn exchange for Peja, the Pacers received a $7.5 million trade exemption that they have been using as bait in order to bring Atlanta Hawks forward Al Harrington back to the Pacers. A few days ago it seemed Harrington was a lock to be Pacer again. But then Harrington decided to fire his agent Andy Miller so he can supposedly hire super agent Arn Tellem. Although that seems to be the consensus rumor among basketball experts, my sources (the voices in my head) tell me Harrington is going to sign on with Ari Gold once he gets his new agency organized next week on Entourage.\nAnother problem the Pacers are facing is the point guard situation. They traded away Anthony Johnson to the Dallas Mavericks in exchange for veteran journeyman Darrell Armstrong and two other players. I understand this trade just about as much as I understand Mel Gibson's theories on the world's socioeconomic cultures.\nBut if you're worried the loss of Johnson might deplete the Pacers' point guard depth, don't worry. During the off-season the Pacers signed Orien Greene and Jimmy "Snap" Hunter. Feeling excited yet? Judging by their names, I'm going to guess they're both from Martinsville. I figure if the Pacers are going to go ahead and bring back Harrington to make the team better, why not bring back Vern Fleming and Haywoode Workman to run the point? I bet they know the offense.\nThe one constant on the Pacers roster for the past several years has been Jermaine O'Neal. But there have been a lot of question marks surrounding O'Neal over the past two years and the trade rumors have grown louder as the Pacers continue to struggle. Here's the problem: O'Neal is a great player. In a way, he reminds me of the NBC sitcom "Frasier." "Frasier" was a good show; not as good as "Friends," but it was solid. You could count on it for plenty of laughs, some dry humor, and the re-runs are pretty watchable. The problem with "Frasier" was that it was only a good show and not a great one. People are satisfied with "good," so they avoid change. Such is the case with O'Neal. O'Neal is a very good player, which seems to satisfy the Pacers front office. Unfortunately for the Pacers' win column, he isn't "Friends."\nWhere to next? Ah, the Middle East! Feeling reassured yet? \nTrying to do their part to "get that thing figured out over there," the Pacers signed Maceo Baston from Maccabi Tel Aviv, the team he was playing for in Israel. Baston is the second player the Pacers have signed out of Israel. The first one was Sarunas Jasikevicius, who the team signed last year. The Pacers seem to be the basketball equivalent of Cyprus. \nAnd then there is Stephen Jackson. You might remember him from his cameo in (what should have been) a Chappelle's show skit in 2004, "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong," in which he attempted to fight the entire state of Michigan. The episode was filmed at The Palace of Auburn Hills during the fourth quarter of the Pacers game against the Detroit Pistons. Jackson charged into the stands throwing left jabs and right hooks like he was fighting Mike Tyson. \nJackson's size and shooting ability make him valuable to the Pacers. But his temper and shot selection make him more expendable than IU football tickets. Some people speculate Jackson is a cancer to the Pacers locker room. But that's not fair to cancer. Jackson, well, let's just say bubonic plague doesn't seem inaccurate.\nAnd at least Artest played defense. Just saying.\nBut to the Pacers' credit, they have been active this off-season. Their drafts of Shawne Williams and James White were respectable. The Marquis Daniels for Austin Croshere trade appears to be somewhat of a wash, if not a small improvement. Daniels is a player who can be easily compared to Jackson, minus the crazy and the three-point shooting. \nWith training camp only two months away, the Pacers will continue to clean house and attempt to brush away the dirt left from last year's squad. Let's hope the Pacers aren't thirsty after they are done brushing and cleaning the roster. Or we might be in for a long, sour season.