Stars, stripes and soccer confusion

The United States of America. The Stars and Stripes. George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Warren G. Harding (Warren G. to his homeys).\nIf you're from this country, reared in the time-honored tradition of Amero-centric grade school history lessons, the above names or images (all right, except Warren G.) probably conjure up some sort of patriotic spirit in you. Whenever the world gets you down, whenever you feel like modern America is becoming politically impotent, you probably think of these things -- or World War II -- and say yeah, man, the United States is kinda awesome. We kick ass!\nWell, I have some news for you. If you're at all interested in international sports competition, we do not, in fact, kick ass. \nTwo of our most popular international exports -- no, not McDonald's and Nike -- have already seemed to catch up with us. We were eliminated relatively early in the World Baseball Classic this winter and exposed in 2004's Olympic basketball tournament as a nation of fundamentally flawed, over-athletic hotshots. It was, as FDR would say, a day that would live in infamy. \nCue 2006. Cue the World Cup. Cue a U.S. squad that has been constantly improving since 1990, urged on by a country of soccer-loving children and their cooler-toting mothers, with youth prospects finally all grown up, ready to make the world feel the soccer hurt it has been inflicting on us for years and years. \nSupposedly, a team that stormed to a quarterfinal finish in 2002's World Cup with wins over traditional power Portugal and bitter rival Mexico, a team that topped off its qualifying division by averaging two goals a game, a team that rose as high as as No. 4 in FIFA's (extremely flawed) world rankings in April -- supposedly, this was the team to take the world by storm.\nExcept that it wasn't. While American media was busy hyping the United States (see the pre-tournament Sports Illustrated cover), intelligent U.S. supporters sat on their thumbs, quietly understanding that this team was lodged in the second-toughest group in the tournament. While U.S. striker Landon Donovan was making bold predictions, they understood that anything resembling success in this World Cup would be a true miracle. \nInstead, fans got what they got Monday, a 3-0 drubbing at the hands of a far superior Czech Republic team. The U.S. looked tenative -- even scared -- for the entirety of the match, and brilliant Czech midfielders Pavel Nedved and Tomas Rosiscky showed why the C.R. might not be overrated as FIFA's No. 2-ranked international team.\nYes, it was ugly. Yes, it was a major disappointment. But to borrow from some cheesy AIM profile quote I just saw, "life isn't always about what happens to you; it's about how you react to it." \nAnd the U.S. reaction showcased one eternal, stubborn truth. We, as Americans, in general, understand the intricacies of soccer about as much as we understand Chinese checkers. \nNo one has talked about the actual game. Instead, it's been a chorus of complaint: "What's going on? You're ranked fifth in the world? Why did you lose? You choked! Screw soccer!" \nWe don't understand that the Czechs overrode our preferred counterattacking style with an early goal, then controlled the pace in the midfield as we struggled to choose our points of attack. We don't understand that soccer can be a narrative game, that the score can only tell you so much about a performance. \nWe don't understand that our No. 5 world ranking is thanks to a system that doesn't do enough to weigh opponent ability when it factors top teams, that the United States can beat up on Barbados as many times as it wants and still get a disproportionate amount of credit for another ranking-building win. \nLet it be understood: we still have a long way to go in soccer. Most people in this country just heard of soccer about 20 years ago. Heck, IU's own dominant program wasn't even a varsity sport until Jerry Yeagley made it so. \nSo maybe the United States will pull out a win on Saturday against the Italians, and maybe it won't. The point is this -- a single World Cup won't get us dominant on the world soccerballing scene. If the United States wins Saturday, it won't be The Seminal Moment, but yet another step in an inevitable journey toward international soccer success.\nBe patient, soccer heads. The Stars and Stripes will cover the world's cleats and shinguards soon enough.