The Hoosier nickname: America's next P.C. victim?

Welcome to the United States of America, where no phrase or single word is safe from a less hostile, more politically correct expression. We learned in December if you want to use the term 'Merry Christmas' as an employee at Wal-Mart, you'll most likely be labeled an insensitive imbecile -- it's 'Happy Holidays' and don't you forget it. Even the most famous American Christian, George W. Bush, cracked a beer at the politically correct party by using the phrase 'Holiday Season' in his annual White House Christmas card. \nThe arena of collegiate sports is no stranger to our nation's obsession with political correctness.\nIn August, the NCAA banned 18 schools with American Indian nicknames from displaying their logos and/or mascots on their uniforms during post-season play, starting Feb. 1. Although the NCAA decided it couldn't tell the universities to get rid of their mascots for good, this is one step in a possible few that may lead to that someday. \nSo what's next on the NCAA's agenda? Our own IU mascot, the Hoosier. Think about it. It's ridiculously offensive to the residents of this fine Midwestern state. Do you like when somebody uses that derogatory term to describe you? No, you sure don't. And does anyone actually know what a Hoosier is? That's right -- no one actually knows for sure its true definition or where it comes from -- even further reason to get rid of it. So where do we go from here? We need a new nickname and it needs to be something that brings out the true spirit of this town.\nHow about the IU 'Indiana Residents'? It sticks to the tradition of the original name, while not nearly being as offensive as that ugly word 'Hoosier.' Can't you hear the nickname echoing off the walls of Assembly Hall, inside Mellencamp Pavilion or Memorial Stadium? RES-I-DENTS! RES-I-DENTS! Introducing your Indiana University INDIANA RESIDENTS!\nOK, so Hoosiers isn't actually on the NCAA list of tradition squashing and probably never will be. And heck, it's not even actually a mascot because we don't even have a student who dresses up in a sweaty, smelly, oversized suit, unless you count Harry the Hoosier from the '70s. But it's always fun to pretend no matter how old you are, and who knows, sometime in the near future this might actually become a developing problem for the University.\nSo for now, hold onto what we have as a nickname, because it's unique. Not unique in the cliché way, but actually unique, because there are plenty of teams named the eagles, tigers and bulldogs -- but there's only one named the Hoosiers.