Last fall, "Desperate Housewives," along with newly crowned Outstanding Drama Series Emmy winner "Lost," helped resurrect ABC's nightly line-up from the direst of ratings doldrums. Beginning with a bang in the form of a suicidal gunshot, the steamy storylines of suburban housewives Susan (Teri Hatcher), Lynette (Felicity Huffman), Gabrielle (cutie Eva Longoria), Bree (a mannequin-like Marcia Cross) and Edie (a brutally Botoxed Nicollette Sheridan) weave amongst one another with the darkly comic delight of "Dallas" in its prime. The whole season is even one big "Who Shot J.R.?" moment as the ladies attempt, eventually successfully, to solve the "mystery" of their friend's suicide.\nThe show works just fine on the level of weekly guilty pleasure, in the same way dieters afford themselves a slice of cheesecake now and again, but like cheesecake, "Housewives" offers a brief moment of pleasure followed by a weeks' worth of guilt. Guilt for what? I guess I could only watch so many flaccid vignettes of Gabrielle cavorting with the cookie-cutter gardener or the hussy-fied antics of an aging Edie before feeling, well, icky. Ickier still is the constant voice-over narration, provided by the spirit of the first episode's suicide victim, which pontificates on all goings-on in smug tones. The show's writers are clearly whip-smart when it comes to punchy dialogue, and the actresses all hold their weight, but so much of the show still manages to feel as wooden as Wisteria Lane's perfect picket fences.\nBonus features on this 23-episode, six-disc set consist of seven deleted scenes with optional commentary from writer Marc Cherry, self-congratulatory commentary by Cherry and director Larry Shaw on five episodes and giggly commentary by the female leads on some of their favorite scenes, which comes off like the "Laguna Beach" girls sharing gossip in the powder room. Also included are six supposedly "Unrated & Extended" episodes, which is misleading considering they're no racier and barely longer than the original airings. Perhaps most tellingly is the duo of mini-docs featuring Meredith Viera of "The View" and the omnipotent Oprah, both doing their best to show support for the program and to boost real-life housewife viewership.\nThe constant barrage of generously airbrushed advertisements in various media for the Season 2 of "Desperate Housewives" promise this season will be "juicy." While that come-on is about as tempting to me as seeing the word "juicy" written on the back of an 8-year-old girl's gym shorts, there's little doubt that the show's ratings will continue to soar. Unless the writers run out of soapy plotlines involving marriage melancholia, illicit sexcapades and near-laughable gunplay, like on so many primetime soaps in the past, in which case the women of Wisteria Lane could jump the neighborhood shark.
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