iPods that do more than play music

Just owning an iPod isn't enough any more.\nThings used to be easier. It used to be that you could just walk down to the store, plunk down some cash and walk out with an eye-pleasing (yet functional) little MP3 player capable of holding all your favorite albums. \nWe all know it's not like that anymore. After picking out what size and color you want your 'pod to be, you have to worry about accessories. Holders and speakers and plugs and socks. Yes, socks for an MP3 player.\nLuckily, the IDS Weekend is here to help you. I have taken it upon myself to find a few of the best niche-market iPod accessories out there and share them with you. If you have a lifestyle, there's an accessory for you. \nHere are just a few options available for the tech-savvy student:\nThe iHead: Many iPod users are all about style. Sure, at one point a pair of white headphones distinguished you from those other music listeners, but it's different now. Knockoff earbuds have popped up everywhere, and now anyone could be sporting the look without owning the real product. This is a catastrophe to the brand-conscious user, because what if someone thought you were using a player that costs fifty dollars less than an iPod but did the exact same thing? \nIf you're stressing over issues like these, let the iHead be your friend. The accessory is a headband/Velcro strap with the brand-conscious consumer in mind. Much like a miner's flashlight helmet, the iHead shines a light across all it surveys. A light with a message. A light that says "I may spend hundreds of dollars on frivolous electronics, but at least my jeans cost $400 a pair."\nOf course, price is no issue for such an important accessory, but the iHead offers more than a new lease on social life. The headband also serves as an auxiliary charger, fueled by hair gel. This means that besides offering a great new look, the iHead also gives you five more hours to listen to your favorite Phish bootlegs and Black Eyed Peas remixes.\nThe iScar: Friends accusing you of being a little too "scene"? Are the olive-green messenger bag and cat's-eye glasses clashing with the pure white sexiness of your 'pod? Well, friend, the iScar is for you.\nWhat is the iScar? A large, pink, disfiguring scar running down your face. A large, pink, disfiguring scar that plays music. Your music. The music you spent hours searching record stacks for because CDs are just too mainstream. The iScar allows you to separate your looks, as well as your musical tastes, from those of the boring masses.\nTo use, simply apply the iScar's patented skin putty, plug the headphones anywhere and enjoy your music! If anyone asks why you have headphones running out of your face, simply tell them all music is terrible, contrived junk and that the human body's rhythm is better than anything a man-made instrument can produce. If asked what it sounds like, mention something about it resembling "Radiohead, that is, before they sold out." You can also mention that everyone's rhythm is different, and that theirs may sound like Kelly Clarkson, only a little more manufactured. That should shut them up.\nThe iGirl: For those who feel the need to obsessively modify their iPod, the makers of iGirl have found a solution.\nThe iGirl, a simple holographic interface that projects from the iPod's screen, is designed to be a nearly-complete female simulator for the socially challenged consumer. The possibilities are endless. Instead of spending hours hacking your baby to run Linux, you can go outside for a walk with a pretty lady. Installing special LED lights? Won't have time if you're engaging a girl in a conversation about the arts. Swapping the standard hard drive for something that is larger (and more capable of holding all your anime) won't be an option when you're at a party, where "chatting" doesn't mean using an AOL icon!\nUnfortunately, the iGirl will not be available on store shelves for at least six months, as the beta testing process has proven to be strenuous indeed. According to a press release from the contraption's parent company, Go Outside, Inc.: "In some extreme cases we have found that even holographic girls have trouble relating to people who modify MP3 players like they are Japanese racing cars."\nOf course, these items were created with niche markets in mind. Not everyone will be interested in sporting a disfiguring scar, and (hopefully) even fewer will want a virtual girl's company to replace the love of a real one. Personally I am happy with my iPod by itself, along with the speaker set and plastic sleeve and GPS system I purchased for it.\nNow, if you will excuse me, I have to add a mod chip to my Xbox. Old video games don't emulate themselves, you know.