The love of potatoes

Everyone knows those three little words. They can change your life forever. They can fill a heart with joy or send chills down the spine. Don't fight them anymore. \nLet yourself go and embrace those three little words: instant mashed potatoes.\nThis is my first year living off campus, which means goodbye to the prison-like convenience of the dorms and hello to cooking on my own.\nRegardless of my substantial rent payment, my new home didn't come with any food inside. I learned that acquiring food for the kitchen involves going to the food-buying place or "grocery store," where money can be exchanged for edible goods.\nAnd thus I found myself immersed in taking the first pop quiz of the school year -- grocery shopping. I felt tremendous pressure to get it right. My initial ambition was to buy healthy food in an economically- savvy manner. It was an attitude that was both practical and responsible. I was destined to fail.\nWhile scrutinizing over every penny, I learned some hard lessons. I saved money and calories, but I was unhappy and worst of all, I was hungry. None of my purchases seemed good enough for a real meal or, more importantly, a fast meal. That's when I decided to swallow my pride, go back to the store and let the greatest invention of the 20th century untie me from the railroad tracks of nutrition just before the train arrived.\nInstant mashed potatoes, my hero. They come in a box. You add a few ingredients and within minutes you have a creamy pile of potatoes so close to the homemade version that it makes cubic zirconia and pleather look like cheap knockoffs. \nSay what you will, but I've actually met people who prefer powdered potatoes to the real deal.\nYou can prepare this delicacy with either of the following appliances found in the kitchen:\n• Stove -- an ominous, large, box-like object with the power to sear flesh and cook food.\n• Microwave -- a small, box-like object that looks like a miniature time machine, but is actually designed to heat food and explode marshmallows in a highly efficient manner.\nThe reluctance to indulge in instant mashed potatoes comes from their bad reputation. My mom told me specifically to avoid purchasing starchy foods, giving instant mashed potatoes as an example, because they spike your blood sugar. She was right. According to USA Weekend, instant mashed potatoes are the one food in the potato genre that raises your blood sugar the most, but that's just another way to say "delicious."\nInstant mashed potatoes are also easy. More foods should be readily available in the "instant" format to cater to the hectic lives of students. But mashed potatoes seem to be one of the few foods that make the transition from chalk-like substance to hearty meal with grace and elegance. I'm not sure if other just-add-liquid foods would taste quite as good. I'd have to ask a trained astronaut or space monkey to find out for sure.\nDon't be discouraged if you're not a gourmet chef (or tried to be and failed). Unless I hear back from the space monkeys, there's no shame in powdered food.