The Red Phone in gas stations?

It shouldn't take a holiday to inspire admiration for one's country, especially when you live in the best country in the world. For far too many Americans, however, now that the Fourth of July has come and gone, it's time once again to return to business as usual: complaining about everything and offering no solutions.\nIt's certainly the American way to voice one's opinion but stating the obvious just doesn't seem to get much accomplished.\nLike gas prices, which are continuously on the rise although people still moan about them every single day. Sometimes your jaw drops when you see the sign, thinking you must be in the Twilight Zone if a milk jug's worth of gas really costs that much. But complain all you want, in a year you'll be jumping for joy to find that same price again, bragging to all your friends about the cheapest gas in town. \nSo did it really advance the cause to whine about the overnight hike to the poor Marathon cashier? What do you expect him to do, go call the president on a secret red telephone in the back room?\nWhat I don't understand about the energy crisis is all the potential sources it seems we've overlooked. Wind and solar power are definitely promising options but why can't we get power from lightning in a thunderstorm? Shouldn't that have been first on our list after Ben Franklin's kite got hit? And how come no one ever tried to get electricity out of lightning bugs, or electric eels for that matter? They're like nature's version of the X-Men and they come in an almost infinite supply, so why not stick a bunch of them in a room and figure something out?\nThe most annoying complaint to listen to concerns an apparent hypocrisy in our country, which I admit I made myself a few years ago, along with every other 18-year-old American who just filled out a draft card: "So I can die for my country now, but I can't drink a beer?"\nThe contradiction that at 18 you can be sent to war but must wait three years to buy alcohol does seem a bit unfair, but what do 18-year-olds do about it? They nag about it for three years and then shut up.\nMy suggestion, if any of those whiners really want to make a difference, is simple: nationally, the drinking age is lowered to 18 if you are a high school graduate or are enlisted in the military. Consequently, harsher underage and drunk driving laws are enforced and this essentially accomplishes three things: a higher national high school graduation rate, a better military and more importantly, the end of that damn "die for my country" gripe. \nEven better, we can kill two birds with one stone here: make a national alcohol tax and use it to start funding lightning bug and electric eel research. Infinite energy, smarter kids, a bigger army and no more whining 18-year-olds? No complaints here.