The weirdest things in the world inspire me to download songs for my iPod. I can eat some peach yogurt and then download some Presidents of the United States of America. I saw a Carmen San Diego board game at a store and it made me want to listen to Rockapella. These song selections are mostly for reminiscing and can be triggered by anything.\nThe other day I had a chance encounter with P. Diddy himself outside his office near Times Square. I called my younger brother and told him I yelled, "Man, you killed Tupac!" Of course, my brother picked up on my lie. But man was I thinking it hard ...\nWhen I got home, I craved some battle rap music. There just hasn't been any good beef between rappers since the days of Tupac, but regardless I made myself a play list of the best "diss songs." Here are my nominees for the better rapper feuds.
1. Tupac Shakur vs. Notorious B.I.G.\nThis has to be known as the greatest of all time. Started after Tupac claimed that Biggie set him up to be robbed and shot. It ended with both of them killed in drive-bys. Things got way out of hand and if you watch the documentary "Tupac & Biggie" you'll realize that they had the same enemy: the man.\nTupac: Best Lyric: You claim to be a playa, but, I fucked your wife / We bust on Bad Boys niggas fucked for life. Other Opponents: Puff Daddy, Mobb Deep\nBiggie: Best Lyric: If Faith had twins, she'd probably have two Pac's / Get it, Tupac's. Other Opponents: Snoop Dogg
2. Jay-Z vs. Nas\nBoth claimed title to the King of New York after Biggie's passing, but only Jay-Z had the record sales to back it up. I suspect this was maybe a publicity stunt since both of their albums containing diss songs earned five mics in The Source.\nJay-Z: Sample Lyric: Fell from top ten to not mentioned at all / to your bodyguard's "Oochie Wally" verse better than yours. Other Opponents: 50 Cent, Ja Rule\nNas: Sample Lyric: Is he H-to-the-Izzo, M-to-the-Izzo? / For shizzle, you phony, the rapping version of Sisqo. Other Opponents: Tupac, Jadakiss
3. 50 Cent vs. Ja Rule\n50 Cent will battle anybody. If you don't believe me, just listen to "How to Rob." Ja Rule clearly got shut down in this battle, but at least he got off better than The Game. One of the The Game's buddies visited NYC for the first time and got shot by 50's crew. Welcome to the city.\n50 Cent: Sample Lyric: Now he wondering why DMX blowed him out. / Next time grown folks talking bitch close your mouth. Other Opponents: Jay-Z, The Game, Jada Kiss, Fat Joe\nJa Rule: Sample Lyric: I really don't care to stand / but 50 you gonna get shot again. Other Opponents: DMX, Jay-Z, Eminem, Busta Rhymes
4. Eminem vs. Benzino\nSlim Shady has battled everybody and everybody tries to make a name by going after him. It's odd that Benzino, rapper/co-owner of The Source, a hip-hop magazine, would go after someone who's been on his cover numerous times. The lesson: never talk about Eminem's kids. He will destroy you.\nEminem: Sample Lyric: I would never claim to be no Ray Benzino / an 83-year-old fake Pacino. Other Opponents: Moby, Ja Rule, Everlast, Triumph, Canibus, Jermaine Dupri\nBenzino: Sample Lyric: Tell Haley it ain't safe no more (nah) / Daddy better watch your back at the candy store. Other Opponents: XXL Magazine\n5. LL Cool J vs. Canibus\nSo very classic. Both rappers are at their best in a battle, but otherwise they're average. It all started when Canibus made a comment on LL's microphone tattoo. (Good thing Canibus hasn't seen my tattoo -- it's one of those magic eye pictures of a microphone.)\nLL: Sample Lyric: Ask Canibus, he ain't understandin' this / Cause 99 percent of his fans don't exist. Other Opponents: Ice-T, MC Hammer, Kool Moe Dee, Wyclef Jean\nCanibus: Sample Lyric: And if you really want to show off, we can get it on / Live in front of the cameras on your own sitcom. Other Opponents: Eminem, Beanie Siegel\n6. Nelly vs. KRS ONE\nI never would expect Nelly to have the nerve to talk crazy about anyone, but a hip-hop legend? If I was KRS, I'd just bring up two things: 1. Nelly's team he owns, the Charlotte Bobcats, suck badly. 2. His energy drink, Pimp Juice, tastes like grapefruit and sweat.\nNelly: Sample Lyric: He calling me commercial rap. Who did commercials first? / Who the one was drinking Sprite, like obeying his thirst? Other Opponents: Chingy\nKRS: Sample Lyric: Yo, Nelly, you ain't Fo' Reel and you ain't Universal / Your whole style sounds like an *NSYNC commercial / Other Opponents: Marley Marl
7. Shaquille O'Neal vs. Kobe Bryant\nI know what you're saying: "They aren't rappers." Maybe you need to go rent the classic "Kazaam" again and you'll remember Shaq's skills. Kobe, unbeknownst to many, did record an album that was shelved. His classic: a duet with Tyra Banks. Ouch! He better hope the Zen Master can bring him back to the playoffs. \nShaq: Sample Lyric: Even if you get me traded / Wherever I'm at, I'm Puffy. You Mase and you're still hated / Other Opponents: Mad Skillz, Ben Wallace\nKobe: Sample Lyric: So cold, I put the ice in nicest / You too broke to pay attention. My style is priceless Other Opponents: Capone, Phil Jackson
8. Ludacris vs. Bill O'Reilly\nAlso very secretive is the fact that O'Reilly can flow -- but usually it's only when he's drunk at parties. The Fox News host got Ludacris to lose his Pepsi deal, which prompted the ATL rapper to strike back. Luda called it a truce after O'Reilly was in his sex scandal saying, "He's a freak just like me."\nLudacris: Sample Lyric: Respected highly / Hi, Mr. O'Reilly / Hope all is well, kiss the plantiff and the wifey / Other Opponents: Chingy\nO'Reilly: Sample Lyric: Ludacris sells big in East St. Louis and other dangerous neighborhoods. / His rap is something criminal kids can identify with. He encourages "the life." / Other Opponents: Al Franken, John Kerry, Michael Moore, Howard Dean, rational thought, human respect
