'The Longest Yard' no 'Billy Madison'

Adam Sandler returns to gridiron glory following "The Waterboy" with a remake of Burt Reynolds' 1974 pigskin classic "The Longest Yard." While not up to snuff with its predecessor, the new "Yard" is intermittently entertaining, oftentimes humorous and certainly Sandler's best straight-up comedy since the late 1990s -- this after a string of filmic failures including "Little Nicky," "Mr. Deeds," "Anger Management" and "50 First Dates."\nSandler stars as former professional quarterback Paul "Wrecking" Crewe. Disgracefully disavowed from the NFL after shaving points in a pivotal game, Crewe spends his days sucking back suds, watching terrible television and leeching off Lena (a big-breasted Courtney Cox), his bitchy sugar mama. This all comes to a halt when after a heated fight Crewe locks Lena in a closet, steals her Bentley, goes on a drunken joyride, gets arrested and winds up in the slammer. \nEnter Warden Hazen (James Cromwell) and his team of semi-pro football-playing guards led by Captain Knauer (William Fichtner). Hazen pulled strings to place Crewe within his prison in hopes that he'd provide some professional pointers. Crewe suggests that the guards have a scrimmage game against a team whose skills are far inferior. Unrealistically, Hazen takes to the idea and appoints Crewe to gather and QB a team of prisoners. Helping him in his task are Caretaker (Chris Rock, proving once again that he's a better standup than actor), the guy who gets outside stuff to those on the inside, and Coach Nate Scarborough (Reynolds, sleepwalking his way through this for nostalgia and a paycheck), an aging Heisman Trophy-winner-turned-convict. Filling out the squads on either side of the ball are an onslaught of former footballers (Michael Irvin, Bill Romanowski and Brian Bosworth), professional wrestlers (Bill Goldberg, Stone Cold Steve Austin and Kevin Nash) and a rapper (Nelly, who while not great, is better than you'd assume).\nExcising the themes of social upheaval prevalent in the original and countless other films of the '70s, "The Longest Yard" is a mindless comedy in which punches serve as punch lines. This terrain is familiar to Sandler, whose angry man shtick is reigned in for his fairly straight-faced leading man stint. Fueling a fair share of the funny business are Tracy Morgan as transgendered prisoner Ms. Tucker, Terry Crews as Cheeseburger Eddy (seeing him pull a Quarter Pounder from his sweaty football pants is a laugh and a half) and Nash, whose anabolic steroids are replaced with estrogen pills to hilarious effect.\nNowhere near as funny as Sandler's early comedic offerings ("Billy Madison," "Happy Gilmore" and "The Wedding Singer") nor as effective as the '74 original, "The Longest Yard" makes for a mild amusement best taken in at a matinee.