'Man' sure isn't 'Perfect'

There are several problems with "The Perfect Man," a few being a complete lack of authenticity, a simple plotline and the unbearable pretense of anything resembling comedy. Director Mark Rosman and screenwriter Gina Wendkos have pieced together such an unbelievably typical, ordinary movie that it is hardly worth the hour and half it takes to watch it, let alone the $8 it will take to gain admittance.\nThe movie features teen superstar Hilary Duff and former glam-soap star Heather Locklear, whose acting might not have been so bad if they hadn't been given such a mediocre script to work from. \nThe story follows teen matchmaker Holly Hamilton (Duff) as she watches her mother (Locklear) flit from one guy to another at a pace that can only be described as dizzying -- an upset in the life of Holly and her little sister. After having traveled the country, the family settles in Brooklyn. Mom finds a job at a bakery where a hair band fanatic, Mike O'Malley, sparks her interest. To keep her mom from making a mistake, Holly invents a secret admirer, borrowing her friend's uncle's name Ben as the elusive suitor. \nAnyone who has ever seen a movie before might be able to guess the next hour of the movie, so I won't bore you with too many more details. Suffice it to say, Uncle Ben (Chris Noth) is a charming and attractive man, financially viable, and well-liked by Holly. \nThe plot is thin and boring, made even more slow-moving by sideline plots featuring a love interest of Holly's and the aforementioned hair band fanatic. Duff is a saccharine-sweet teen, trying to save her mom from an endless line of "perfect men." But the real travesty here is Locklear, whose performance falls flat, which seems ironic given her character's tendency toward erratic behavior and general insanity. \nAnd though it might be appealing to watch Duff scurry about trying to make her mom fall in love with the "perfect man," it seems to have escaped the filmmakers' attention that her efforts are wasted on the dim-witted Locklear. \nIt should be noted that I'm awarding the movie a D, instead of an F. This is solely due to Chris Noth's surprisingly good performance, one that would have been better-suited in a decently written film.