Mary Sturgeon was just 17 when she got married to her then-19-year-old fiancé.\nShe wasn't rebelling or pregnant.\nShe was in love. She still is.\n"If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing," said Sturgeon, now 25 and expecting baby No. 2 with husband Jason. "(Jason and I) grew up together and formed together."\nWhen they got married, neither Mary nor Jason Sturgeon sought to defy convention. The 1980s and early to mid-1990s saw an increase in age of first marriage among both men and women. Analysts at the National Marriage Project, a nonprofit research group based at Rutgers University, credit this increase to a desire to wait to be established, to settle into a career before settling one's love life, according to the organization's Web site. In 1995, the average marriage age was 25 for women and 27 for men, according to a U.S. Census Bureau report. But more and more young people decide against holding off until their late 20s in favor of marrying young, like the Sturgeons. By 2001, the average marriage age dropped to 21 for women and 24 for men, according to a Census Bureau report.\nFor the Sturgeons, statistics didn't matter. When he proposed, Jason was a freshman at IU. And the 200-plus miles from Portage, Ind., where both Mary and Jason grew up, to Bloomington meant occasional visits and countless hours on the phone. The distance, which has caused many a breakup, only cemented their desire to be together, Mary said. In the end, Jason decided to hold off on school after a year, and the two got married in Mary's mother's living room.\n"We knew we wanted to be together," Mary said. "We were going to get married in December, but during the summer, the stress of just planning a wedding was too much. I had never had my heart set on a huge, big-deal ceremony."\nMarried life agrees with Mary, she said. The couple's first child, daughter Cadence, was born two years ago. Though Mary is a stay-at-home mom now, she hopes she'll continue her education someday. Jason has gone back to school and works full-time as well.\nFor Mary, marriage is first and foremost a partnership, she said. And being young just means she can look forward to a longer life with her partner.\n"If you go until you're 30 years old, you have all these ways of looking at the world and you're set in your ways," she said. "When you get married, it probably makes it more difficult to make (the marriage) something like a partnership."
Comfort level\nFor sophomore Michele Platte, getting married was about bringing a sense of comfort and stability into her life.\n"I know that at the end of the day, I've got someone there for me," she said. "I can do anything in front of (Alex, Michele's husband), say anything and it's OK."\nBeing married is about a mental, emotional, spiritual and sexual connection that's lasting and different from any other relationship, Michele said.\n"Being married helps you get through things," said Michele Platte, who got married Jan. 2. "Life isn't stable in all its aspects, so it's nice to have one (aspect) that is."\nBut marriage is also about change. A November 2004 MSNBC report indicated a 17 percent increase in marriages by people between the ages of 17 and 23, but Michele said having a spouse at this age can seem weird to others. At 20, whenever she tells people she's married, they respond with "I can't imagine!" she said. Though this lack of understanding can be disheartening, Michele treats marriage as proof she has grown up and is on her own. Well, almost.\n"I've never done my taxes -- my mom always did them for me," she said. "Alex and I did them together (this year)."\nBefore getting married, Alex and Michele dated for four years, two of those long-distance. Having met in high school band -- he was in 12th grade, she was in ninth -- the two were friends before they began dating Michele's junior year. Both originally from Fort Wayne, they've found marriage a more exciting prospect than simply dating until after college or living together.\nThe wedding came at a point when the couple felt strongly about each other and saw no benefit for waiting any longer, said Alex, a first-year graduate student in computer science.
Planning for the future\nWhen they first began talking marriage in late 2003, Michele and Alex knew they wanted to be together. They just weren't sure when a wedding would be possible. Instead of just waiting and seeing where life would take them, they sat down and planned their shared future.\nThey made a budget for a wedding and found out how much a summer ceremony would cost versus a winter one. They planned how to support themselves, where they would live and work.\n"Both our parents were supportive, but we knew that my parents would be a bit afraid," Michele said. "They would ask, 'How do you plan to accomplish this?' (We thought that) if we were prepared, the idea would sell better."\nThe Plattes wanted to make sure that their family and friends felt comfortable with them getting married. Their yearlong engagement was a testament to that hope. When they finally did get married, everybody "was thoroughly unsurprised," Alex said.\nA Las Vegas-style runaway wedding was never an option. Michele firmly believes that marriage cannot be a rash decision.\n"You can't just rush into marriage," she said. "Personally, (both Alex and I) are logical people. We worked out how we'll live; we had a plan."\nAt the same time, it's important to stress the partnership element of the relationship, she said.\n"We work so well together because we're focused on our love for one another," Michele said.
Natural progression\nJunior Kathleen Gettelfinger sees marriage as a natural progression of her six-year relationship with fiancé Elliot Ransom. Since graduating from IU in 2004, Ransom has been teaching English at a Chicago public school through Teach for America. The two see Gettelfinger's graduation from IU in 2006 as the perfect opportunity to begin their life together.\n"It'll be great just to be in the same place," said Gettelfinger, who is majoring in English. "When we (first) talked about marriage, we decided getting married after my graduation would be a natural next step."\nTheir engagement will last more than a year and a half, but having entered into this new stage of their lives hasn't changed either Gettelfinger or Ransom, their professional hopes or their relationships with friends, Gettelfinger said.\n"Marriage would never inhibit my career plans or his," Gettelfinger said. "We each plan to do the same thing we wanted to do before; we'll just be married."\nEven the long-distance relationship has been an opportunity to deepen friendships and has strengthened the two as a couple, Gettelfinger said. Being young just adds to the mix. \nJust as age isn't a major factor for Gettelfinger or Ransom, it wasn't for the Plattes or the Sturgeons.\n"If you have met the person that you're going to marry, it doesn't matter how old you are," Mary Sturgeon said. "It has more to do with the kind of person (you choose). I was just lucky enough to find him early enough in my life."\n-- Contact Copy Chief Jane \nCharney at echarney@indiana.edu.
