C is for crazy, not Christ

I'm wild and psychotic, usually wear Camo,I come to IU's campus, shooting Jesus ammo,My speech is coarse and callous, I say, 'You're headed straight for HELL.'\nI preach because I'm zealous, but mostly just because I can't get laid and have nothing else to do.\nSo, who am I?\nCrazy, hateful, psychotically peppy Jesus preachers are nothing new for IU's campus. Which is why, walking near Woodburn Hall last Thursday, I wasn't surprised to see another Jesus-trippin' nutcase, but I was surprised to see 150 people surrounding him. When I saw the vastness of the crowd, I said to myself, "Holy Crap!" \nIronically, that was exactly what the guy was preaching: holy crap.\n"The Bible teaches us to hate all those who don't find Jesus ... you will burn in hell unless you find Jesus," he screamed. "You need to find Jesus!" \nHe kept making Jesus sound like somebody's car keys. Like, "Oh, there he is! I found him. He was in between the couch cushions."\nHis tirade was not only completely odious, but completely incoherent. He kept pacing back and forth, roaring at people like a giant, pissed-off dinosaur. I think my favorite part would have to be when he said that the tsunami was caused by a giant bomb that was placed at the bottom of the ocean by the U.S. government. On a crazy scale from one to 10, this guy was pretty damn crazy.\nThe magnitude of his folly was matched only by the magnitude of his sign. This thing was gigantic, roughly the size of the Czech Republic. My guess: He's using it to compensate for something: his teeny, tiny, shriveled ... intellect. This was obvious from the front of his sign which read, "Muhammad and Buddah are in HELL." Oh yes, he spelled Buddha wrong. It was fabulous. He didn't spell it B-U-D-D-H-A, but how elderly Jewish women from Queens pronounce the word "Butter." \nAs awful as it might sound though, I actually enjoy watching these fanatics with their mangy hair, acting all crazy. It's even funnier when they're provoked, like when he condemned gay relations and some guys in the crowd blew him kisses and asked him out on a date. \n"You won't be laughing when you're in HELL", he told them. "Because HELL is real and it is HOT!"\n"Oh well," one kid replied, "at least I'll get a good tan."\nThe crowd laughed, but the amusement was quickly dispelled when another student, irate about the accusation that Muhammad was in hell, confronted him: face to face, eyes glaring crimson. Tension hung in the air.\nIt was, in a way, a very interesting sociological experiment. People reacted in all different ways. Rather than watching to support him, many simply watched for entertainment, whereas others, incensed by his exploitation of Christianity or offensive remarks, reacted with anger. However, this anger is completely futile. Because what these people preach is not Christianity, but Crazianity. \nWe shouldn't get angry with them, but rather, pity them. They obviously live a life that is so void of happiness that using hatred is the only way to get attention. Perhaps the preachers need some preaching themselves -- a lesson in how their style is both hypocritical and a poor example of Christian leadership. These religiously warped individuals need to look into the mirror of God, recognize their muddled appearance and ask themselves the question:\n"Who am I?"\nBecause people consumed with hate do not cast a positive, Christian reflection.