More annoying than TV static

After "The Ring," horror-film-fanatics were afraid to pick up their telephones. Now, it seems, putting your radio on the wrong station can kill you. Or at least, that's what the producers of "White Noise" want you to believe.\nFollowing in the spooky, paranormal feel of "The Sixth Sense," and "The Ring," director Geoffrey Sax looks to capitalize on EVP (known as Electronic Voice Phenomena), which deals with messages sent by the dead through static on television and radio.\nCrawling out of a bunker somewhere, Michael Keaton makes his return to the screen as Jonathan Rivers, an architect who suffers the tragic disappearance of his wife, Anna, in the first few minutes of the film. Filled with grief, Keaton begins conferring with a creepy old man who claims to have messages sent from his dead wife. Soon, Keaton becomes obsessed with EVP, looking for a complete message from Anna and he completely ignores his only son as a result.\nThe first 30 minutes of the movie are promising. The EVP phenomenon is explored in a way that seems realistic and scares audiences with subtle, creepy clues. But as ensuing plot twists build on the simple premise it becomes more complicated and more unbelievable. A film about obsession and grief turns into a film involving psychics, cosmic coincidences and death prevention -- and I began to care less and less about the outcome of the mystery.\nSax, who has directed more television than film, doesn't seem to have the grasp of a good horror film tempo. You can almost count down all of the "unexpected" jumps and surprises due to his overly stretched-out silence or swelling orchestra.\nScreenwriter Niall Johnson antes up the ridiculousness for an overblown ending, matched by Sax's exaggerated direction. I honestly haven't been more confused by a film's ending since Tim Burton's "Planet of the Apes." The explanations I've heard only make me sneer and say, "Well, that's stupid."\nKeaton isn't a bad actor at all, but he just isn't talented enough to save this train wreck. If you are a 13-year-old girl looking for lame version of "The Ring," check it out. Otherwise, you're better off watching static on your TV.