Who smokes Fruity Pebbles?

One semester. One semester of my college career remains. One semester left with life as I know it. And over my three and a half years in Bloomington, I have come to this conclusion, maybe even, dare I say it, a thesis: College might just be the greatest oxymoron of all time. \nThe country's great minds flock to these institutions of higher learning to increase the depth and magnitude of their knowledge and study under the nation's greatest educators only to do some of the stupidest **expletive** known to man. \nI've done what you're supposed to do in college: the legal, illegal and, at times, yes, even the immoral. But it's college. It's expected. \nDays filled with classes learning about ancient philosophy, molecular genetics and the great political controversies of our time turn into nights filled with six-packs of Zima and futile attempts to smoke Fruity Pebbles. You'll witness perhaps the next great trial lawyer go into the bathroom of Upstairs Pub, remove his boxers and hand them to the bartender in an attempt to become the first male to have his underwear hang above the bar. One day you'll walk past the hallowed statue of Herman B Wells only to see the future CEO of a Fortune 500 company being filmed by a buddy while improperly mounting "his bronze-ness." Our nations' future elementary school teachers wear hand towels as skirts. Pharmaceutical reps enjoy nude snow angels in the Arboretum. And watching a future neurosurgeon battle a prospective dentist in a challenge of who can drink a bottle of Tabasco the fastest really spices up an evening. \nOne semester left. One semester left to do the things I still haven't done, the unexpected included. \nTo think, four years ago I was a scrawny, five-foot-nothing pipsqueak deciding where to go to school. A visit to IU on a beautiful March day (60 degrees and sunny), and your mother says, "Jeez, look at all the blondes," further cements a case for the school. \nRemoved from the sunny beaches of Florida to a small Midwestern town in the middle of nowhere, I arrived with thousands of other wide-eyed youths unprepared for what the college experience actually is. \nIt's not advanced musical theory, Roman history, human anatomy or even basic psychology. My college experience won't be defined by the classes I was forced to sit through listening to a professor who undoubtedly never would learn my name or grade a single paper of mine. My college experience has been defined by all the stupid stuff we did that didn't make sense. All the stuff that when you woke up the next morning, you scratched your head and said it never happened. Defend your morality to the end, of course, until the photos are produced as evidence. \nThat's college. Smart people doing stupid things. \nSo if you're just starting out or just winding down, enjoy it because it only happens once. Then that overbearing "R" word looms overhead. No, not reality. That other one: responsibility. But until that day, live it up. Balancing the acts of debauchery and the inherent educational value of college is a tricky proposition, but it can and has been done. Look no further than President George W. Bush. Trust me, all will be forgiven.