The KISISS Report

Question:\nHow much is enough? I was wondering how to take care of the hair down there on my vulva. I like to keep it well maintained but I don't like the ingrown hairs which come from shaving. What is it "supposed" to look like and how much should it be shaved?\nAnswer:\nYou've asked the questions many women (and men) are trying to figure out: What, if anything, should be done with pubic hair?\nThe fact that you asked what it's "supposed" to look like sounds like you're concerned about what others (maybe potential sexual partners?) think about your pubic hair. While it's kind to care about your partner's preferences, perhaps the more important consideration is what you want your pubic hair to look and feel like. After all, you're the one who has to live with your pubic hair and this can be a particularly sensitive issue if you're prone to itchiness or ingrown hairs, like you mentioned. Why be uncomfortable? \nSex therapist Dr. Ian Kerner, in his book "She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman" writes about the diversity of pubic hair styles that women and men like, and reminds men to remember and respect that a woman's style choice is her decision, and hers only. The same is true for men and their pubic hair; with the rise of the "metrosexual" men, more men are interested in shaving, waxing and trimming their pubic hair, too.\nBrazilian bikini waxes typically refer to total hair removal, though sometimes a "landing strip" of hair is left. If you go all the way, you can count on a very hands-on experience as you and your stylist work to hold your various bits in place while she rushes on the waxes, lays on the strips and pulls it away. If you decide to shave your pubic hair, one way to reduce your risk of razor burn is to shave in the same direction that your pubic hair grows (which is opposite of how most women shave their legs).\n"The Vagina Monologues," by Eve Ensler, includes sad, funny and poignant stories about women's genitals, including some mentions of pubic hair shaving. Until recently, women and men kept their pubic hair pretty much in its natural, unshaved state with the exception of removing hair that fell outside bikini line. Lately, though, women in adult films (both "porn" and sex education films) often have little to no pubic hair. \nCelebrities like Denise Richards and Gwyneth Paltrow have openly discussed their salon waxing adventures, and Jessica Simpson has announced that she takes care of her own (though she's mum on her chosen style) rather than have a stranger see her "wawa," as she put it. Waxing has also been featured on "Sex and the City" and in women's magazines.\nHowever, not all women (or their partners) are on board with removing so much hair. Many women and men find it strange to imagine that some men want women to completely remove their pubic hair. Why make a grown woman's vulva look like that of a prepubescent child? Where is the concern for the time, financial cost and possibly physical pain that women may have to go through to achieve this child-like vulva? And what exactly is appealing or sexy to so many men (and some women) about a hairless, prepubescent-looking vulva? These are questions that sex researchers are beginning to ask, and that I'd encourage you to consider as well when you consider how much, for you, is enough (or too much).\nOne woman in "The Vagina Monologues" speculates about the cushioning effect of pubic hair, and some researchers have wondered what happens to pheromones when women remove so much pubic hair (as of now, we don't know!). The only person who can decide how much of your very personal and private hair should be trimmed, shaved, axed or otherwise removed is you. And if you decide to remove some or all of your hair, check out "The V Book: A Doctor's Guide to Complete Vulvovaginal Health" by Dr. Elizabeth Stewart and Paula Spencer, where you can read about a variety of hair removal techniques as well as factors that may make it wiser for you to choose one method over another.\nBe among the first to see the new film "Kinsey," starring Liam Neeson and Laura Linney, this Saturday at the IU Auditorium. Learn more about this benefit screening at www.kinseyinstitute.org. Also, visit The Kinsey Institute Sexuality Information Service for Students online at www.indiana.edu/~kisiss, where you can ask questions, learn about our dorm sex ed programs or browse the Q&A archive.