National advice columnist visits IU

Not many people would pay attention to a 5-foot-5, self proclaimed big-eared man with two days of stubble on his face walking through the Indiana Memorial Union Tuesday night. But if those people took a closer look, they would have realized they had just walked past nationally syndicated columnist Harlan Cohen, more famously known as the "Help Me, Harlan" guy. \nCohen came to IU Tuesday night to perform his speech "College in the Nude," which helps college students deal with the everyday things they encounter, such as drinking, dating and rejection.\nCohen said that so often college is a really tough transition for people and it seemed a natural place to begin helping people with their problems by giving advice.\n"I think that it's nice for people to know someone's listening, someone hears them," he said. "I think the ones that are published, I know there are hundreds of thousands upon millions of people who are reading who can relate."\nCohen tried to hit home two specific topics about dating in his 75-minute long speech: the forms of adversity a person will meet and how to overcome them.\nCohen said the first form of adversity a person will meet is self rejection; the person doesn't allow themselves to think they are desirable. Second, rejection by circumstance; the person is rejected because of something they can't control, like the other person being engaged. Third, and most brutal, raw rejection; the other person simply just does not like something about the person doing the asking. \nCohen said there is a very simple way for people to correct this problem, and that is to train to be comfortable physically, emotionally and have a person get "great" people in his or her corner. \nCohen said the inspiration for his column came after an internship with "The Tonight Show," where he observed someone start their own advice column. He took the idea back to IU and pitched it to his editor at the Indiana Daily Student who gave him the green light after Cohen produced a sample, he said. \nThat column has now turned into "Help Me, Harlan," a nationally syndicated column running in such papers as The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, Dallas Morning News and the Seattle Times. Cohen reaches more than one million people a week and is a published author with his first book, "Campus Life Exposed: Advice from the Inside," and has a second coming out in March titled "The Naked Roommate: And 100 other things you might encounter." \nAccording to his Web site, Cohen's goal has always been to create a place where people can feel comfortable enough to share whatever happens to be on their minds.\n"It's a place where young people have the courage to write and those who have 'been there and done it' can share their thoughts, ideas and experiences. At the core, this column is a place for people of all ages to challenge themselves and attempt to do the impossible. It's a place for everyone to find that extra encouragement, to get that little push, to do the things each of us know we need to do in order to get happier." \nDean of Students Richard McKaig has known Cohen since he was an undergraduate and attended the speech Tuesday night. McKaig said he does check out the column to see what issues Cohen is helping his student audience deal with. Though he has never asked "Help Me, Harlan" anything, he said it would not be a bad idea with some of the issues with which he deals in his position.\nThe questions Cohen most frequently receives are: "How do I tell somebody how I feel? How do I find a date? How do I find a relationship?" he said.\nFreshman Andra Stacks found about the speech through various flyers posted around campus and, despite never reading his column, came to hear him speak, she said.\n"What really caught my attention about it tonight was that he talked about rejection and that it's OK to be rejected," she said. "I think he really brought that point home."\nThe letters he receives fit into three categories: the ones making fun of his ears, the ones where he thinks the person is making up a story, like having sex with an animal, and the ones dealing with serious problems the person has. \n"Take risks, and if you can't take a look at yourself because you are so drunk and you can't focus on you, that's an even bigger problem," Cohen said. \n-- Contact senior writer Mike Malik at mjmalik@indiana.edu.