Sex without judgement

Let's talk about sex for a minute, shall we?\nI've never written about sex, and it won't be easy. Educated in a Catholic school in conservative Fort Wayne, I have always considered myself to be fairly sheltered in "the ways of the flesh." Heck, I refer to it as "the ways of the flesh," scandalizing it instead of seeing it for what it is: sex.\nI hold no judgments against sex. At the risk of sounding like my mother, the only advice I think I have the right to give, and anyone has the right to give to others is "be smart, be safe." Whether it is between married men and women, unmarried men and women, men and men or women and women, it is their right to have sex. The government, the church and their families should not dictate what to do. \n"The Guide to Getting It On!" a book edited by Paul Joannides, is for people like me. It simplifies the processes, procedures, etiquettes and the emotions behind not only the act of sex, but other sexual parts of a relationship, such as cuddling, "petting," even peacefully coexisting.\nAt 782 pages, this fourth edition book is thick. Within its covers, it addresses about everything from the history of the Barbie doll to the bra-burning movement of the 1960s to blow jobs.\nAnd it does it all without reverting to overtly scientific language to mask any embarrassment and biases or strange diagrams that look nothing like a male or female sexual organ. There are diagrams, yes (see Chapter 12 -- What's Inside a Girl?). But most of the illustrations in the book are of real-looking people in realistic situations. Most are, ahem, very graphic but milder than anything you'd see, for example, in a Penthouse or Hustler. Plus, the porn doesn't teach you anything.\nThe nice thing about the guide is that it takes no sides. The only definition of "morality" that it gives is this: "Morality, from this guide's perspective, is your ability to respect and care for your fellow human beings. It has little to do with your sexuality, unless what you do breaks a special trust or violates the rights of others."\nBasically, it takes the stance that sex can be enjoyed if you only want to get laid or if you want to have a meaningful relationship with someone. The closest it came to judging anyone is when it explained many people find sex to be empty if they are exclusively having one-night stands. But this was based on statistical studies. For the most part, it presented sex as fun. Don't take it too lightly, and don't take it too seriously: sage advice.\nThe advice encompasses the whole spectrum -- from conservative, procreational missionary-style intercourse to a threesome with two women (or two men). \nHeterosexual people may be curious as to how homosexual people have sex. Physically healthy people may wonder how handicapped people confined to wheelchairs do it. This guide reveals all. It talks about how to approach the subject of oral or anal sex with a partner in the relationship. It talks about the health benefits of masturbation and about how contraceptives work.\nFinally, the guide manages to insert some humor, as well. Chapter titles like "Men's Underwear: the Fruit of Your Loom" and "Sunsets, Orgasms and Hand Grenades" are typical of the book.\nIf you have a lingering question about sex and are too embarrassed to ask anyone, or just want to improve your technique (or just want to learn where to put it), buy this book. The only awkwardness you may experience is at the check-out counter.\nI know I feel more educated about the issue. Of course, there wasn't much that I knew in the first place. And the fact that I'm not a biology major doesn't hinder me in reading the text.\nThe fourth edition of "The Guide to Getting It On!" edited by Paul Joannides and illustrated by Daerick Gross Sr., is available at most book retails for $19.95. Visit the book's publisher at www.gooftfootpress.com for more information.