Revenge of the Luddites

Ned Lud had a mission. His life, as the tale goes, was a crusade against technology. In the 1780s, he attacked a stocking factory and destroyed his most dire enemy -- the loom. This act spawned the Luddites, an anti-technology activist group that went around breaking machinery that lowered employment.\nI have to admit I'm becoming a bit of a Luddite myself. It's not that I care about employment or that I am a pantihose arsonist, I simply think our personal little digital worlds are getting a bit out of control.\nThe idea of complicating one's life with personal organizers began a few decades back with the Filofax. It was, in essence, a glorified notepad that could keep track of names, addresses and other tidbits of information. At first glance, it seems like a simple, useful innovation. However, according to a professor sitting next to me, they were so complicated that there were actual classes on how to properly use one.\nThen came the classic keypad watch. My dad still wears one, but only because it is excellent at keeping time. The keys are so small it is impossible to enter any data into the machine, but I have to admit, it looked impressive 10 years ago.\nThese early items were child's play in comparison to what we have now. Honestly, the sheer volume of high-tech gadgets on today's market is astounding.\nFirst on the list is the cellphone/ walkie-talkie. What, I ask, is the point? They both perform the exact same function -- talking with someone else -- except the latter makes every conversation public. And they don't let you ignore the call if something more important is going on. I cannot imagine why anybody would want such a disservice, but apparently they do because I cannot count the number of times a walkie-talkie has screamed out in the middle of class.\nThese days, manufacturers deck out cell phones with so many bells and whistles that calling while walking seems to be a secondary rather than a primary function. My phone is full-color, surfs the Internet, takes pictures and could probably fly to the moon. But, it cannot make a high-quality call from the middle of campus.\nItem two on the list is the PDA. In the beginning, these were really just glorified notepads as well. They now run Windows and Microsoft Office, hook up to desktop projectors and surf the Internet (even though your phone -- which is in your other pocket -- already does that).\nI have to admit, I bought a PDA a while back thinking it would make my life easier. I then realized a piece of paper in my back pocket provides the exact same service with infinitely less hassle. \nWe also have PDAs that can make phone calls and cell phones doubling as PDAs. Naturally, they all plug into a computer and sync with everything else, thereby making the whole kaboodle redundant. I ask again: what is the point?!\nThe latest and most mind-boggling invention is the upgrade on my dad's keypad watch. This watch has a USB port and copies data directly from a PDA. The sales pitch is for people who keep their lives on a PDA and then forget it at home. And of course, it automatically changes time zones, checks stock quotes and receives instant messages.\nAssuming you remember everything, you now have a PDA, cellphone, watch and Filofax that all contain the exact same data, all worth about $700. I have to admit, marketers are amazing people.