Cavemania: Kevin Burke explains primitive man

What does Kevin Burke know about relationships? The answer would be shorter if one asked, 'What doesn't Kevin Burke know about relationships?'\nKevin Burke, an IU alumnus, is the star and entire cast of the one-man show "Defending the Caveman." It takes an anti-John Gray approach to relationships. The commercial that has been airing all over Bloomington TV sums up the content of the show. \n"When women say they'll call, they mean in a few hours," the commercial shows Burke saying. "When men say they'll call, they mean before they die!"\n"It's a show about men and women and relationships, and how and why we're different," Burke said.\nHe explained from where the title of the production came. \n"It all goes back to the cave times. … In order to ensure survival, women and men had different jobs," he said. "Men are hunters and require total concentration until their prey is dead. That is why we turn down the car radio when we get lost. And the TV -- I concentrate totally on what I am watching, and when my wife tries to talk to me, all I hear is a buzzing noise that gets louder and angrier."\nBurke then explained the ways of the "fairer sex."\n"Women are gatherers. They would go out in groups and would wander and explore. They don't lock onto just one thing, like men. They can talk and watch TV at the same time," Burke said.\nBurke graduated from IU in 1984 with a degree in theater. He starred as Pseudolus (Zero Mostel's character) in the IU production of "A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum." After college, Burke performed as a clown with the Ringling Bothers and Barnum & Bailey circus.\n"After that, I worked for the last 16 years as a comic. A lot of it was pro-family, pro-relationship," he said. "Like ('Defending the Caveman'), it was comedy that brings together as opposed to tearing things down."\nWritten by and originally starring Rob Becker, "Defending the Caveman" first appeared on Broadway March 26, 1995. Its 399th performance was in July of 1996, where, according to www.cavemania.com, it beat Lily Tomlin's "The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe" and Jackie Mason's "The World According To Me" for the title of the longest-running solo play in Broadway's history.\nThe show is currently managed by a national touring company that has three different men performing at separate venues. Becker is still performing in the show; he is currently in Seattle, Wa. Chris Sullivan is currently in Bismark, N.D., and will be heading to Canada soon. Burke will be heading to Alabama after his gig at the IU Auditorium.\nThe set is something from "The Flintstones." There is a television made out of stone, rocky-looking furniture and a wall-hanging straight from the Fred and Wilma's house.\n"The caveman is a literary device," Burke explained. "He appears in a couple of visions."\n"It's a great date show, especially for the guys," he said.\nBurke will also be involved in an acting workshop Friday for the department of theatre and drama. "It's a comedy acting workshop which will include improvisation and physical comedy," said Marilyn Norris, the administrative director for the department. "Acting students are invited to come and wear work clothes."\nThe room only holds 30 students, so the workshop will operate on a first-come, first-serve basis, Norris said. The workshop will be held at the at 4:30 p.m. Friday at the Lee Norvelle Theatre and Drama Center Room A207.\n"Defending the Caveman" will take the stage at 6 and 9:30 p.m. Saturday. Tickets range from $13 to $27 for students and $27 to $44 for the general public. Seats are still available. For more information, call 855-1103.\n-- Contact staff writer Andrew Welfle at awelfle@indiana.edu.