Teamsters, teams and Terrell

Call me a union buster. I've never been a real big fan of them. \nWhy do we need to tear up perfectly good roads, and why does it take a year and a half to repave them? Ah, such is the life of a union -- to find work and prolong the process.\nWell, the professional sports arena is no different, Unions, unknown to many, run the show behind closed doors, telling their athletes what they can and can't do.\nYou hear it left and right from athletes accused of wrong-doing, "I'll test everyday if necessary to clear my name, tell me where and when, and I'll be there." \nWell, it's easy for them to say knowing their respective union will never allow them to do that. Barry Bonds, Gary Sheffield and yes, Cubs fans, even Sammy Sosa have made these worthless claims. \nFriday, troubled Portland Trailblazer Damon Stoudamire actually stood up to the plate and defied his union to clear his name. Stoudamire has long been mired with drug allegations and arrests involving marijuana. \nFive months ago, Stoudamire made an agreement with a Portland, Ore., columnist he would drug test whenever and wherever, following his latest arrest. \nStoudamire passed the test -- in fact, he tested negative for five different drugs. While I appreciate Stoudamire's so-called courage, this test really proves little to me. \nAfter Stoudamire's arrest, he apologized to Blazers fans, and this was his way of proving his dedication and appreciation for their continued support. But marijuana leaves your system in roughly a month, and Stoudamire's arrest and pledge came five months ago. He said he took the test to clear his name, but all it did was show he hadn't used it in a month. What about back in July when you tried to sneak one-and-a-half ounces of weed wrapped in aluminum foil through airport security? \nThe important part of the story is not that Stoudamire passed his drug test, but he defied the union in doing so, which might open the door for other athletes in other sports to do the same. \nBut it's not just drug and steroid testing that has me miffed at the unions. It's how they try to bend the rules for superstars to further their own agendas. \nFor example, take poor Terrell Owens. Your agent did what you did all last year -- he dropped the ball. All we heard from Owens as the season wound down was how much he couldn't wait to test the free agent waters and apply his skills elsewhere. \nWell, your agent forgot to exercise a clause in your contract that would have voided the final three years of your deal -- failing to make you a free-agent. \nHowever, now you've been traded to Baltimore and won't report and refuse to have a physical, and the union has your back. Why? Because that's what they do. They pamper the athletes even more than I thought physically possible. \nOwens is under contract and his agent made a mistake, but a contract is still a contract. I can't sign a lease and midway through think I can stop paying simply because I think there's a nicer place to live on the other side of town. \nTerrell, if you're really upset, fire your agent. He's the one that messed up. Not the 49ers, not the Ravens, but your agent. \nThe NFL Players' Association has conceded Owens' agent failed to file the necessary paperwork, so to me, it seems like an open-and-shut case. But the union has other ideas. They intend to argue Owens should be declared a free agent because it had been known his intention was to leave San Francisco. \nLast time I checked, Baltimore was situated on the opposite coast, but hey, what do I know?\nI know I should be careful about what I say about unions. Tomorrow I'll come into work, find someone else in my parking spot, a dead fish wrapped in newspaper on my desk and an e-mail asking me to return my half-eaten block of gouda I received for columnist of the month.\nIt could be worse -- there's room in the south end zone of the Meadowlands.