A supermarket of entertainment

Amusement parks were always fun as a child. Gymnasts, musicians, magicians and all types of performers lined the walkways, each showing off their craft while kiosks with cheesy toys and balloon characters could be found on every corner. And of course, there was the daily highlight of having your picture taken with various cartoon characters at the park.\nRetiro Park in the heart of Madrid embodies all of those basic theme park qualities, with people looking to score a few extra euros. With miles of walking trails and a lakeside promenade, anyone and everyone can find something to enjoy here. Numerous performers set up shop along the sides of the promenade, creating a supermarket of entertainment. Puppet shows are performed to capture attention spans of little kids, while adults have their choice of street musicians and acrobats. While each musician is full of talent, having all of them on one half-mile walkway is kind of an overload. There are two things I recommend bringing to the park during a visit. The first is a pair of earplugs to soothe tired ears and block out all unwelcome noise. The second are some coins in small denominations since every performer you stop at is looking for some compensation. \nIf shopping is more appealing, street vendors display their variety of products, some with plastic pinwheels and Nyla balloons with Disney characters like those from "Finding Nemo." Other vendors sell supposed handmade earrings, necklaces and bracelets displayed on towels -- but most likely the jewelry was mass ordered from the Spanish version of the Kip catalog. Then there are the American pop culture cartoon characters all looking for their share of your spare change. Locals dressed up in character suits wander around the park, saying hello and waving to the kids. Beware though, some characters are repeated -- several Tiggers and Mickeys in multiple costumes and a couple of those annoying red Teletubbies all stand in a 20-foot vicinity of each other. \nAnother caveat is the appearance of these characters. When looking closely, the characters are not always in proportion. Take Mickey Mouse for example. We all know his big nose, large round ears and squat height. Some of the Retiro Park Mickeys were six feet tall with small ears and proportionally skewed faces. A lot of the Mickey costumes looked like Mickey was on crack. \nSpeaking of drugs, do not, I repeat, do NOT go into the park at night. It's like Central Park in New York. A great place by day, a shady one at night. My friends and I made the mistake of staying in the park after dark and found ourselves surrounded by scary men, some asking if I could stop to talk to them, while others just came out and asked if I wanted to buy one of their many types of drugs. Spanish families still walked the well-lit paths in the after-dusk hours, but we hauled booty to get out of there. \nSo, to recap this week's column, Retiro Park is a great place to park yourself on a Saturday afternoon, but skedaddle at sunset unless you're looking to score or be scared.