We've got a winner

Last week, I complained about the lack of a winning team at IU. But that was before the discovery of Ryan Tapak. And I also managed to neglect the IU men's soccer team.\nI admit, I grew up a soccer-hater. I thought soccer players were just pansies that couldn't handle a real tackle and it was a game for them durn furinurs anyway.\nAnd what kind of game prohibited the use of hands? No wonder it was so popular in communist countries.\nMy own experience with soccer was pretty frustrating. One time in gym class, a kid set me up for a perfect header to score. But instead, I decided to awkwardly attempt kicking the ball, which was six feet off the ground. I missed. Hey, it wasn't my fault. I didn't know you could use your head.\nAnd people wondered how I could dislike soccer if I liked hockey so much. The answer is easy. Hockey players move much faster. And they beat the crap out of each other.\nHowever, I think my loathing for the sport was projected by my disdain for soccer moms. Who did they think they were, driving their ugly minivans five miles under the speed limit? Why weren't they taking their kids to play an American game, like baseball?\nIt turns out I was wrong about these things (except for the ugliness of minivans). Coming to IU has taught me one of the most difficult lessons to be learned by any stubborn American male: how to appreciate soccer.\nYou see, soccer players aren't pansies at all. They are the best conditioned athletes that exist. They have to run around the field for 90 minutes. That's like 89 minutes longer than I can run without tiring.\nAnd even though it will be freacking freezing this weekend, everyone on the field will be wearing shorts. It goes without mentioning that playing soccer leaves you prone to being kicked in very uncomfortable places (like the back of a Volkswagen).\nMy appreciation for soccer was also enhanced by traveling in Europe this summer. There is no other sport that brings about so much passion in its fans. The rowdiness, the songs, the burning of stadium seats …it's all glorious.\nIf I was to wear a Bears jersey into a bar in Bloomington, it probably wouldn't cause much of a stir. But most pubs in Britain and Ireland prohibit you from wearing a soccer jersey within their confines because of the odds of a turf war ensuing. Over here, we start fights over silly issues, like guys hitting on our girlfriends.\nOne of my favorite memories of the summer is singing the "Ole! Ole! Ole!" song with about a hundred drunken Irishmen. And we weren't even at a match.\nIn fact, the shirt I'm wearing in my IDS mug shot is an Irish soccer jersey. So have I transformed into a bona fide soccer aficionado in four years? \nNot really. I'm still not sure how they call offside. They don't have a blue line painted on the field.\nBut I do know the IU soccer team is pulling off a storybook season. The season began with its slowest start ever. Then they caught fire, playing to send coach Jerry Yeagley into retirement by winning his sixth national title. And they have made their tournament run without their two top players, who are playing with Team USA for the Under-20 World Cup.\nWith finals coming up, most people will be busy this weekend. But anyone who has time (people who finished I-Core, I'm looking at you) should try and make the trip to Columbus, Ohio, to support the Hoosiers.\nIt's not often you get a champion around here.