Game of the weak

Maybe you didn't get the memo. But the College Gameday crew will be in town to cover this week's big game between the Hoosiers and the visiting Illinois "Fighting" Illini. Fortunately, I was able to get a copy of the show's transcript, so here's a look at what the boys will have to say.\nCHRIS FOWLER: We're live in Bloomington, Ind., and folks, do we ever have a dandy for you this week. You might remember how they called the Notre Dame-Florida State game in '93 the "Game of the Century." Well, it's a new century, and I think it's safe to say that we can schedule to put this one on ESPN Classic ahead of time.\nKIRK HERBSTREIT: That's right, Chris. The excitement on both of these campuses has been mounting all week. We're expecting a crowd of well over 50 to show up today.\nCHRIS: You mean well over 50,000, right?\nKIRK: No, I mean 50.\nLEE CORSO: Well, I tell you what, it's no surprise that there's so much excitement in the air. There usually is when these two teams meet. Why, I remember the first game that I coached at IU was against these Illini. I even tried pumping up the crowd by driving the team into the stadium on a double-decker bus. But we were stuck in traffic, so we almost showed up late for the kickoff.\nKIRK: I can't believe that.\nLEE: What? That I would do something so stupid?\nKIRK: No. That there was a traffic jam for an IU football game.\nCHRIS: Did you guys win?\nLEE: Nope. We got killed. But that was sort of foreplay for the rest of my IU career.\nCHRIS: I think you mean foreshadowing, coach. Anyway, let's take a look at how these teams match up. This might be one of the most even games that we have ever seen.\nKIRK: There's no doubt about that. Illinois enters the game ranked 10th in the Big Ten offensively and 11th defensively, while the Hoosiers are 10th defensively and 11th offensively.\nLEE: Yeah, that Illini defense has given up 500 yards five times this year, which is something IU has done the past two weeks. And the Illini haven't scored 20 since they opened the Big Ten season with a loss to Wisconsin.\nCHRIS: Let's not forget how evenly matched both of the opponents that these teams actually beat are, either. Both teams beat their respective ISU, with the Illini beating Illinois State 49-22 and the Hoosiers besting Indiana State 33-3. Illinois State and Indiana State are in 7th and 8th place, respectively, in the Division I-AA Gateway Conference. The Redbirds and Sycamores close their seasons against each other, but you kind of wish we could have had a doubleheader here today.\nLEE: Whoo boy, talk about every scalper's dream!\nKIRK: Well, even though Ohio State, the best team ever, isn't playing in this game, I think we'll have a good one. But I have to believe that Illinois has an edge in this one, especially the way that it dominated IU in Champaign last year.\nLEE: Not so fast, my friend! Let's not forget that game was in Champaign, which is a town that smells like manure. The Hoosiers have never played well in towns that smell like manure.\nKIRK: That explains their lack of success in West Lafayette over the years.\nCHRIS: Well, it looks like we're low on time, so what are your picks?\nKIRK: This game could range anywhere from a shoot-out to a defensive classic, so it's tough to make a call. But I'm going to stick with Illinois 66, IU 63.\nCHRIS: A multi-overtime battle, eh?\nKIRK: No, Chris, that will be the score at the end of regulation.\nLEE: You could not be more wrong Mr. Herbstreit. Normally, this is the part where I put on the head of the team mascot that I picking to win. But IU doesn't have a mascot, since it wasted a bunch of money trying to find a mascot a couple years ago and ended up doing nothing. And Illinois' mascot is a real-life guy, Chief Illiniwek, who jumps and runs around like he's actually an Indian. So I couldn't rip his head off. But in a seven-overtime classic, it'll be IU 16, Illinois 13.\nCHRIS: I think there will be some serious defense here too, coach. I see this one ending Illinois 4, IU 3. Gerry DiNardo will take an intentional safety late in the game à la Bill Belichick Monday night, but it will backfire to give Illinois the win. That's all for now. Hope you enjoy the game.