A few minutes with Stanley Q.

As it so frequently occurs, I was interrupted the other day by none other than my old accomplice Stanley Q. Studmuffin. Since he has spent the past week intensely focused on Calgary Flames preseason action, he's been left in the dark about IU football. So he left me some questions to answer about this week's game.\nIU and Michigan State play for the Old Brass Spittoon. I dig the Spittoon, but where did it come from? Do any schools play for a Golden Urinal?\nThe Brass Spittoon has been awarded to the winner of this game since 1950, though the Spittoon itself is well over 100 years old. The trophy was started by the student council at Michigan State, which was apparently jealous over the rivalry that Michigan and Ohio State had and wanted someone they could be rivals with, too.\nAs for the Golden Urinal, no one appears to be playing for such a prize. But we like to think that would make a great trophy should a Kentucky-Purdue series ever come to fruition.\nIn the game "NCAA Football 2004," Matt LoVecchio has a mustache. Would he be better in real life if he grew a mustache?\nWho wouldn't be better in real life with a mustache? Methinks at the very least a mustache would make him a hit with the ladies. \nHowever, I can't say that there is any precedent for mustache improvement in quarterbacking circles. I cannot recall the last truly great mustachioed QB. In fact, the only mustachioed QB I can think of is Jeff George.\nI also find it strange that of all the players in "NCAA Football," LoVecchio appears to be the only one to have a mustache. Of course, if I were in a video game (how cool is the thought of actually seeing yourself in a video game, by the way?) I would kind of like to be mustachioed too. But only if it was a handlebar.\nP.S. I am making my editors send this to Guinness to verify that I set the world record for use of the word "mustachioed" in a single article.\nNot to move too far off subject, but Kansas is 4-1. Aren't they usually worse than us? What's going on here?\nLike IU, Kansas is in its second year under a new coach. Last year they lost conference games by an average of 32 points. Now, they have three more wins than IU. But I wouldn't say that the Jayhawks are necessarily better -- they just have more favorable conditions. Like the fact that they have played four home games. Or that they have a full pool of players, as opposed to IU, which only has 62 scholarship players out of 85 possible spots.\nIn the future, IU is going to have to make its non-conference schedule a lot easier so they can get the confidence to pull off something special when conference play begins -- kind of like Kansas did last week when they beat then No. 23 Missouri.\nMichigan State is ranked and playing at home. Can IU beat them?\nOn the surface, things don't look too good. But before you say "What else is new?" I'll do some explaining. Working against the Hoosiers is the fact that wide receivers Courtney Roby and Travis Haney are likely out due to injuries. IU hasn't won a road game yet in the Gerry DiNardo-era.\nBut we might have a case where the positives outweigh the negatives. The last time IU beat a ranked opponent on the road -- for that matter, any opponent on the road -- was against these very Spartans in 2001. So at least they've won in East Lansing more recently than the basketball team.\nWith Michigan State puffing out their chests a bit after beating Iowa last week, and considering that they were picked off at home by Louisiana Tech earlier this year, it could be a week for an upset.