Hey, don't touch the strippers

The Los Angeles City Council has passed a law making lap-dances illegal. Actually, what the law does is mandate a 6-foot zone of separation between adult entertainers and the patrons of such establishments. This means that not only is lap-dancing prohibited, but so are other staples of the strip club environment, like tucking dollars into G-strings.\nNow, as we in Bloomington know from the smoking ban, city councils may from time to time pass certain laws that upset the public. In the same manner as our smoking ban has its roots in a similar law in New York, the L.A. lap-dancing ban has its roots in Tampa.\nIn 2002, 13th Circuit Court Judge Rex Martin Barbas "ruled that 'lap-dancing' is not entitled to First Amendment protection" and overruled Hillsborough County Judge Elvin Martinez's 2001 decision ruling that Tampa's lap-dancing ban was unconstitutional (Tampa Tribune, Aug. 24, 2002). The Tampa rule is very similar to the one just passed by the L.A. City Council in that it requires a 6-foot zone of separation between dancers and patrons.\nTampa passed its ban because "they said it was needed to prevent the spread of disease and because lap dancing contributes to prostitution" (Tampa Bay Online, Aug. 2, 2001).\nL.A.'s ban, however, stems from another source. L.A. passed its ban because the city fears that evils from the adult entertainment industry are spraying out into the city's neighborhoods (CBS News, Sept. 18).\nBelieve it or not, the proud members of the adult entertainment industry (like those folks who invaded our campus last year), are not pleased with the new addition to L.A.'s penal code.\nAspiring actress Bambi Ann Hazard said in a June 18 CBS article, "All of my dreams and pursuits have been funded by my employment as a dancer in the city of Los Angeles." She went on to say that she is against the proposal "for it will not only have a great economic impact on myself, but on the thousands of women employed in this industry."\nNow, I think Bambi has a good point. But, she fails to carry her ideas through to conclusion. It is true that the professionals who rely upon the system of G-string monetary delivery for their wellbeing will suffer an impact. But, Bambi failed to see the other side of the coin. The hardy patrons of these adult entertainment establishments will also face financial consequences. If these patrons aren't stuffing their paychecks down some stripper's G-string, what are they going to do with all of that money?\nTo counter Bambi's arguments in favor of permitting the lap-dancing to continue, Cristi Walden of Beautification of Pico said in the same article, "it's been atrocious (living next to a strip club). In addition to prostitution, used condoms (and) human excrement (are) on the sidewalks, around schools." This makes perfect sense. Clearly when a man stuffs a dollar into a strippers G-string, he gets the uncontrollable urge to take a dump on the sidewalk in front of a school. God knows we've all been there.\nBut, I know why L.A. really passed the law prohibiting the time-honored tradition of tucking. I am confident that the city invested heavily in the issue of Sacagawea dollar coins. They knew that the hard-core perverts would not be deterred by 6 feet. They also knew that these perverts would still want to tip the women that they may or may not be stalking. So, they calculated that given this situation, the patrons would exchange their bills for the Sacagawea coins so that they could toss their tips through the zone of separation.