Don't snakes eat people?

Oh, to be Oeun Sambath. \nInnocent 3-year-old Cambodian boy one day. "Son of a dragon" the next. Which, by the way, in Asia, is not the same thing as son of a female dog.\nAnd in about four years, Sambath will probably be forced to become a traditional healer because of this.\nKids sure grow up quick.\nHow did this little boy go from a kid who soils himself to a demi-god who obviously was birthed by a dragon in a previous life?\nIt was quite easy. All he did was befriend a 13-foot female python named Chamreun, which either means "Lucky" or "Big Fricking Snake That Can Eat You" in the Cambodian language.\nSuperstitious villagers are flocking to see the boy, who they believe has supernatural powers. These powers include napping with a big fricking snake, playing with a big fricking snake and most importantly, not being eaten by a big fricking snake.\nI've seen a picture of this latest incarnation of Jake the Snake.\nThe young boy is entwined in the snake holding it like a stuffed animal, his head peeking out just a couple inches away from the serpent's jaws. It appears both the child and snake are smiling. For some odd reason a song from the Jungle Book keeps popping in my head. "Trussst in meeee. Juuuust in meee." Not sure why.\n"He has been playing with the python ever since he could first crawl," his mother Kim Kannara told Reuters.\nTheir conversations must go something like this:\nOeun: Fluffy!\nChamreun: One day I will eat you.\n"I don't know what is special about the relationship between my son and the snake -- whether they were related in their previous lives -- but they certainly can't be separated," Kannara said.\nThis will be even more true once the boy is lodged in the snake's stomach.\nThe village may force Oeun to become a traditional healer at the age of seven because of this "friendship." That's right. If you live in his village and come down with elephantiasis or some other strange disease that could kill you faster than a tiger or ... say ... a python, you would go see Oeun. And he will promptly tell you to go buy him a proper pet. Perhaps a collie? \nChildren don't grow up too fast solely in Cambodia. Here in America, we love stories of successful children as well.\nLike 9-year-old Samir Patel who recently said something that should not be said by any kid who hasn't reached double digits.\n"Is it just my luck or am I getting all French words?" Patel asked before misspelling "boudin" in the 11th round of the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee.\nNo 9-year-old should ever say anything more profound than "Hey, this chocolate pudding looks like poop." Nor should they be asked to spell a word like 'boudin,' which I believe is the French word for "booty."\nIn other recent news of children growing up much too quick is the saga of Freddy Adu, a 13-year-old soccer player, who has signed an endorsement contract with Nike for somewhere between $1 million to $1.5 million. Why on earth would Nike sign this kid for that much money when I guarantee you they could get Sambath, the Bobby Fisher of playing with big fricking snakes, for much less money? Maybe even a few goats for Chamreun could buy the boy off.\nIt's sad these children are being thrust into maturity. Adu should be playing in a backyard. Patel should be reading Harry Potter. "Python Boy" should be frolicking with Chamreun. Nike should focus on adults. The National Spelling Bee should be cancelled. The village of Sit Tbow should find some old guy to be their traditional healer. \nKids should be allowed to be kids.