Your chins are your problem

I feel really sick. No, it has nothing to do with how I overdosed on holiday gravy at yet another Thanksgiving. And no, it's not because I just got off a Disney cruise, either. What's plaguing me is obese people. Well, not all of them, just the ones involved in the flurry of lawsuits aimed at fast food giants, claiming these restaurants are liable for their weight predicaments. This is stupid, unreasonable and actually quite sad -- reminiscent of an episode of Snoop Dogg's "Doggy Fizzle Televizzle."\nObesity isn't just an image crisis. According to the Surgeon General, it kills an estimated 300,000 Americans each year and racks up $117 billion in health-related costs. Obesity is linked to such health problems as diabetes, heart disease and blood pressure higher than a Portland Trailblazer. But should I be able to sue the Girl Scouts because I eat a whole sleeve of thin mints at every sitting? It might be profitable if we were dealing with Troop Beverly Hills, but otherwise it's just counterproductive for society. People need to assume responsibility for their problems.\nHow can one single out a certain company to sue? Consumers don't eat at one fast food restaurant exclusively, and they aren't eating rice cakes every other meal, either. Obesity is a product of your entire diet; it doesn't just stem from your nightly spicy chicken combo. Also, it happens gradually and is quite easy to detect. You don't just roll out of bed one day, look in the bathroom mirror and discover you've gained weight.\nCorporate America isn't the reason we are obese. We are. Individuals are responsible for their own diets. There's ample information available to us in the form of nutritional facts postings in restaurants and on company Web sites; it's just that we tend to disregard this info. \nMany of these lawsuits claim the fast food industry is making our youth obese. Where are the parents? Is divorce court taking up all of their free time? The way some guardians allow their children to eat is careless. What's next: Sending your kid out on the terrace to play with Michael Jackson? If anyone should be getting sued, it's the parents. \nI can see the intro to "The People's Court" right now:\nThe plaintiff: Tipping the scales at an even two bills, seven-year-old Ronald Jenkins claims, "My irresponsible parents failed to provide me with a balanced diet by feeding me a steady course of Happy Meals and Double Stuffed Oreos. I can no longer satisfy a woman or walk up a flight of stairs." \n The defendant: Mr. And Mrs. Jenkins claim, "Every time we turn around, that kid's freakishly large head is in the cookie jar. He is totally out of control!" \nI'd love to see that almost as much as I yearn to be present when our administration views "Shane's World No. 32: Campus Invasion." \nNow I'm not saying the war against obesity will be easy. The fast food industry has a $30 billion annual advertising budget and would really, "Love to see you smile." But we have to show restraint for the sake of society. We cannot keep filing lawsuits every time we have a beef about something. You don't see me suing Universal Pictures even though "8 Mile" seems to be loosely based on my life.