Sanding the floor in our hearts

Last weekend I downloaded a song. OK, so I pirate music -- get over it. I don't even know who sings the song, I only know the title: "You're the Best Around." You all know this song, and somewhere inside your head you're asking yourself, "How do I know that song?"\nIt's the theme song from "The Karate Kid." The song that's played at the end during the tournament. "You're the Best Around." You know I'm right.\nI got really re-addicted to that movie this summer. I got back from Europe, and bam, it was on HBO like every other day. I was like, "Wow!" It's really the second-best movie of the 1980s. Seriously, with the exception of "Back to the Future," can you think of a more meaningful or inspirational movie from the '80s than "The Karate Kid?"\nSome of the best acting in movie history. Think about it: Pat Morita as Mr. Miyagi -- the Yoda of our generation. Ralph Macchio as Daniel LaRusso -- the good guy we're all rooting for to get the girl (a fat Elizabeth Shue, for pete's sake) and get his revenge.\nThe thing about Macchio is this: why is he not still acting? How come we never hear about the new Macchio movie? He was stellar in the first three "Karate Kids" and then in "My Cousin Vinny," yet, he's not around anymore. Is this what is going to happen to Freddie Prinze Jr? He's just going to stop getting parts? Let's hope this happens soon. \nThen, there's the Kobra Kais. Two words for you: Billy Zabka. There isn't a more important actor from the 1980s than Zabka. You're right, the Coreys (Haim and Feldman), but Zabka is right there. He plays Johnny Lawrence, the head Kobra Kai. He was also in "Just One of the Guys," if you're having trouble placing him -- the guy who wears the workout gloves.\nThere's also Bobby, Dutch, the guy who was Lamar in "Revenge of the Nerds," and the guy who yells out, "Get 'em a body bag, yeah!" at the end of the movie. I can't think of a better unintentional comedy line in the history of film. I try, but I just can't. Earlier in the tournament he also yelled out, "Do what you gotta do, Bobby!" You can quote those two lines in almost any situation and it will be appropriate. I guarantee you. I do it, I know.\nIt has a great plot: the new guy is picked on, but with the help of his new best friend, and the support of the woman he loves on his arm, he is able to overcome the vicious bully and save the day. Or something like that. That sounds like a pretty good synopsis of the movie, right?\nBut here's something I don't get: who are karate champions in high school? Were the popular kids in your high school the kids who took karate? I had a cousin who took karate when he was younger, and I refuse to talk to him because of it. I am not joking.\nAfter this movie though, we ALL wanted to take karate. It's OK, you can admit it, we all know. We were there too. But my parents wouldn't let me take karate classes. However, I got to be the "Karate Kid" for Halloween one year, and that was fun. \nI actually just recently bought this on DVD. I promised myself that I wouldn't buy it until they released the Karate Kid Box Set, featuring all three Ralph Macchio Karate Kid movies. How sweet would that be? One actually exists in Europe, so maybe we'll catch on soon.\nIt's also a really bunk DVD -- no deleted scenes, no commentary tracks. How hard would it be to do a commentary track featuring Macchio, Zabka and the "get 'em a body bag" guy? It's not like these guys have anything else going on in their lives, right? Maybe someday the definitive "Karate Kid" DVD collection will be had. I mean, I know four or five people who would buy it.