Ads swamp the environment

How would you like it if you were sitting in class and every 20 minutes the teacher put up a slide for McDonald's? Seem farfetched? I don't think so. Advertising has squeezed itself into nearly every facet of our day and keeps finding new areas to infest. It plagues me first thing in the morning, while I'm lacing up my underwear, and stays with me until I go to bed humming, "Save big money at Menards".\nAdvertising is everywhere. It's on taxis, subways and even the back of your ATM receipts. I'm convinced the radio doesn't even play music anymore. All I want to hear is Pink, and all I get are dull commercials. And do you notice how your beloved sitcom "Friends" actually only runs for about four minutes? Commercials claim the rest of the time slot. \nWould we be better off if we weren't subject to all of this advertising? Well, you wouldn't throw up in your mouth every time the 2003 Eclipse commercial appeared on your TV. (The one where the girl in the pink hat is dancing to techno while the goofball driving displays an over joyous smile.) \nAnd if you're like me, you're on ESPN.com for six hours per day. And if you're like me, you see the Orbitz pop-up ad about 4,000 times in the process. Isn't this a bit much? \nAnd look at the sport of NASCAR. Every car is draped in company logos from Special K to Viagra. I'm currently waiting for Chick-fil-A to make me a counter-offer for the hood of my Subaru.\nEven the season premier of "The Sopranos" began with a 10 second close-up of The New York Times. Not to mention all of the other episodes where there is a strategically placed Coca-Cola Classic on the table. These are no coincidences. \nYou can't avoid it at the theater either. Before the previews start, you are forced to sit through a series of commercials. Companies have even managed to appear within the films themselves. For example, Frito Lay and McDonalds did their share of advertising in "Spiderman," and "Minority Report" commanded millions for the right to put a company's sunglasses on Tom Cruise's face. \nYou can do whatever you want to escape the bombardment, but you will fail. Say you are watching a game at a sports bar. The game breaks for commercials, and you break for the bathroom. When you open your eyes at the urinal, undoubtedly there will be an advertisement staring right back at you. The world has turned into one giant Times Square.\nCompanies also have a knack for taking something pure and beautiful and tarnishing it with whatever means necessary to promote their products. Nearly every single sports arena is packed to the brim with advertisements, further reminding us that it's not just a game anymore. I vowed never to go back to Comiskey Park once I saw a UPS truck deliver the ball to the mound for the first pitch. And if that sort of shenanigan ever occurs at Wrigley Field, then I'm joining a cult. \nAdvertising even managed to taint the long awaited comeback of ALF. Something so grand warrants a spectacular production or at least some sort of light show. Instead, ALF disgracefully returned in a series of 10-10-220 commercials with "I swear I'm not gay" Mike Piazza. \nSometimes you are not even aware you are being subjected to yet another advertising ploy. Did you ever notice how MTV has had about 10,000 different shows celebrating itself? They are all essentially two hour long commercials for MTV.\nSo what would life be like without all of these advertisements? That question might be harder to answer than why do Gary Coleman and Tony Gwyn have exactly the same voice. I fear we'll never know the answer to either.