Go Back: The real world is scary

Oh, the end of my college career. Finally, the day I've been waiting for with baited breath arrives. And all I can think of is a certain line from "Say Anything." It's the crux of the graduation speech that Ione Syke's character delivers. She says, "I've glimpsed our future, and all I can say is 'go back.'"\n I just want to go back to the beginning and do it all again. Previously, I couldn't understand the appeal of staying in school for long periods of time, but now I see things differently. There's something to be said for the eternal student. I think everyone should just start all over with a new major!\n When I look back on my college years, I think fondly on Halloweens, pickle juice, concerts, games of "I Never" and dancing on the furniture (and sometimes falling off those same chairs, dressers and couches). I keep dreading all the responsibilities awaiting me -- car payments, student loans, credit card bills -- and a lot less fun, I fear. It seems obvious that college is the place to stay! I'm lucky. I still have a few more months of slacking ahead of me, with several summer classes left to complete before I get that magic paper stating that all the lectures, textbook reading and lab hours were purposeful.\nBut as tired as I am of school (and man, I could write a volume on that subject), the real world petrifies me. And all I want to do is avoid it because I don't know what to do. Yes, I've learned a lot in college, but most lessons are hard to measure in terms of A's and B's. How do you put a grade on learning that "Unsolved Mysteries" gives me nightmares, drunken e-mails never get responses and hitting on the guy in the Taco Bell drive-thru probably isn't going to get me a date?\nYay, for learning about myself! Um, but, what does that teach me about finding a job, a car or a place to live in a big city? I'm reminded of the time I slammed one too many shots at a friend's party. Morning's light found me lying face-first in her hallway with my lower extremities sprawled on her bathroom floor. I was reduced to merely whimpering "help me." No one could hear me. \nSo, since I have the energy to pick my head up off the floor today, I'll be more direct: HEY, HELP ME! WHAT DO I DO? HOW DO I FIND A JOB? HECK, WHAT DO I WANT TO DO? WHERE DO I WANT TO LIVE? I NEED MORE PARTYING AND PIZZA AND LAUGHING TILL I CAN'T BREATHE PLEASE!!! \n I dare not suggest that you, kind reader, do something as hokey as "savor" every minute of your college experience, although it might be cheaper than following my "go back" advice. At the very least, try to have fun while at IU. Live wholly. Experiment. You know, carpe diem. And just in case, I decide to take my own advice, I'll save the overindulgent litany of farewells for another time (and the corresponding swell of music). My friends know that I love them. Perhaps it's too late for me, but do me a favor while you still can: go back.