Ask the Sexpert

Dear Sexpert,\nI just started getting physical with this guy I've been seeing for a little while. The other night, I saw him naked for the first time, and I was horrified to see that his penis curves off to the left, at a pretty severe angle. He didn't say anything about it, so I didn't mention it, either. But I'm concerned. First of all, what's the matter with him? And secondly, will I be able to have sex with him, or will his penis rub against me in the wrong spots?\nThe Bends\nDear Bends,\nI hope you at least didn't act too horrified when you first saw it, because chances are, he's already self-conscious about it.\nLike any other part of the human body, the penis is rarely completely symmetrical. It's within the range of what is considered "normal" for a penis if it has a slight curve in the shaft, or if it points off to one direction or the other when erect. When this happens to a penis, it usually has to do with the proportion of the internal structure of the penis to the size of the external covering of the penis. If the internal structure (called the "crus") is fairly long, the penis is more likely to point straight up. It the crus is relatively short compared to the external part of the penis, it is more likely to point down, even when erect.\nSome cases of bent or curved penises are so severe, they render intercourse nearly impossible. The condition associated with this is known as Peyronie's disease. While no one is certain of the exact cause of this disease, it is usually thought to be the result of some sort of injury, and it often goes away on its own as part of the recovery process.\nThe best thing to do to ensure that the penis recovers properly from Peyronie's disease (if that is the case) is to make sure he sees a urologist. If the penis doesn't seem to be healing on its own, surgery might be an option. But, he should be aware that surgery on the penis sometimes renders the man unable to have an erection, and he might require the aid of a prosthetic device in order to function "normally."\nSo how do you tell if the curvature of your partner's penis is the result of a condition like Peyronie's disease, or if it is simply the way nature made him? The most obvious way to tell is to ask him if his penis has always been this way, or if it has only just recently started to curve. Another warning sign is if the erection is ever accompanied by any kind of pain (and that would be a definite sign that he needs to see a doctor).\nOf course, as you mentioned, you've only just started getting "physical" with this guy, so this might not be the most comfortable topic to bring up. And, as I said, he's probably already quite self-conscious about it, so you need to be careful about how you approach this. But if you really feel that this could be a source of discomfort for you during intercourse, you have a right to address it.\nBut don't jump to conclusions just yet. Most men who experience a slight curve or bend in their penis are able to engage in intercourse just fine, although you might have to adjust your positions or angle of entry from time to time to make sure he doesn't "rub you in the wrong spots." If you and your partner truly care about each other, you should be able to discuss these things. After all, if you don't feel comfortable enough talking about it, how can you feel comfortable enough to have sex with him?\nSend questions and comments to the Sexpert at jfinkel@indiana.edu.