all my friends drive a ...low rider

Excess was on parade at the 7th Street Parking Garage Saturday during the Low Performance lowrider competition. The evening was defined by superfluousness; the muddled low registers of Nelly songs sent car alarms into a frenzied cacophony, LCD screens flashed "The Fast and the Furious," backseats were outfitted with wetbars and Playstations, and chrome and neon adorned everything. \nThe "Below the Law" car show -- ironically held across the street from the Monroe County Courthouse and Justice Building, was burning rubber and blasting bass for the Backstreet Mission, a charity for the homeless in Bloomington.\nEach contestant was required to pay a $10 registration fee with the profits going to the mission.\n"Other than the cost of the trophies and the insurance for the show, every penny is going toward the Backstreet Mission," said Low Performance President Toby Deem. \nThe mission is a Christian organization dedicated to providing shelter, food, clothing, friendship and spiritual guidance to men and women who are in spiritual and financial need. \n"When you go in (to the Backstreet Mission), they are always cheerful, always friendly," said Sheryl Jones, who was attending her first lowrider competition. "It is a much-needed thing here in Bloomington." \nThe evening began at 9 p.m. as each of the ten car clubs paraded their loudest, brightest, and most luxurious lowriders across the lot. An estimated 75 vehicles vied for trophies in 11 categories, each judged entirely by the audience.\nAt 10:30 p.m., the crowd began to congregate at the south end of the parking garage for the much-anticipated hydraulic competition. The event epitomized the exhibitionism of the evening as participants "went for broke," hopping out of their cars, frantically flipping their remote hydraulic switches. Cars bounced back and forth, as owners struggled to find the correct rhythm to lift their tires off the ground. The cars snaked around the parking garage as they awaited their chance to woo onlookers. After each hydraulic demonstration, fans momentarily scattered to avoid having their feet crushed under the weight of the cars which casually passed through the crowd, but quickly encircled the next contestant. Finally a 1989 Lincoln limousine made its way into the middle of the human circle. Owner Frankie Murphy elicited the most impressive cheers and emphatic cursing of the evening, as he manipulated the front wheels of his refurbished luxury vehicle off the ground, barely. The Herculean feat left a hydraulic hose broken, leaking fluid onto the cement. But no matter, he took home the best Hydraulics award. \n"That's what it's all about, just bouncin' 'til ya break it, tryin' to pull the wheels up," said Brad Arthur, who attended the show to promote his brother Chris' Acura CL 3.0, which was entered in the Best Euro category. \n"You got to expect to tear something up especially when get out there and really get into it," Murphy said.\nMurphy, who invested around $12,000 into the limo, said he has no plans of selling the award-winning vehicle. \n"I've got three little girls and they'd kill me if I sold it," Murphy said. "I take them to the Girl Scouts in it."\nShortly after the hydraulic competition ended, participants lined up once again to spin their tires out, an event that would have surely horrified local grandmothers and environmentalists alike. Water was poured on the cement to allow the tires to spin easier and prevent undue tread damage. In a brilliant safety directive, the crowd was urged to take an extra step back to avoid being flattened by the cars as they unlocked their brakes and fish-tailed out of the area. The crowd scurried away from the area, choking on noxious fumes, as the first contestant, an Astro mini-van, violently spun his tires, leaving a thick sheet of rubber on the ground and emitting a dense cloud of smoke that may still be lingering over the downtown area. \nPerhaps the favorite award of the night went to the "Best Hooptie," an award given to the worst car at the show. The award, a trophy in the likeness of a horse's posterior, was bestowed upon a Toyota Camry of an indistinct color. \n"It's a joke category," Brazeal said, noting the levity of the award. \nThe night's big winner was Vizual Alterations, which took home ten trophies, including Best of Show, Best Euro and Best Exterior for their Mitsubishi Eclipse. Chris White, painter for Vizual Alterations who has recently accepted a bid to paint the floor of Assembly Hall, said the car was completed in a mere six weeks at an estimated cost of $15,000. White said the competition provided a showcase for his work. \n"It's a traveling billboard really," White said. \nBrazeal was more than pleased with the outcome of the show.\n"We really had no idea how many people would show up out here, so it turned out pretty good," Brazeal said.\nBrazeal has even larger plans for Low Performance in the future, with hopes of hosting a much larger show sometime in May or June of next year which will showcase somewhere between 1,000 and 1,500 vehicles.\nThe club is hoping to get rapper Too Short to perform as well as porn king Ron Jeremy to act as master of ceremonies for the event.