Giving credit where it is due

We have enough award shows for the entertainment business. With all the top award shows like The Emmys, The Tonys and The Oscars, along with a number of crappy awards like the The ACE Awards and the Teen Choice Awards, there are too many people getting prizes for their excellence in entertainment. There aren't enough that are symbolic of the tragic and horrible films, but there is one, The Razzies.\nThe Razzies are the anti-Oscars, and awarded for the worst films, the worst actors and the worst directors annually, and there was a plethora of crap released this year. The nominees for worst film: "Pearl Harbor," "Driven," "3000 Miles to Graceland," "Freddy Got Fingered" and "Glitter."\nNow I actually watched every single one of these so-called films, and they are all terrible, but there can only be one winner in this suck fest. \nPearl Harbor\nThis film is probably the best on the list, and is only on the list because of its three hours of triangular love, instead of cutting the film to 40 minutes of Japanese bombing. It's also nominated because of the incredible budget the film racked up to just be shot down when it came time to release it. The studio took a chance and wound up with a loser, just like other studios have taken similar chances with Oscar winners. Let's remember that "Titanic" was also a three hour fictitious love story that exploited the true account of human suffering, and that won a harbor full of statuettes.\nDRIVEN\nJohn Wilson's Golden Raspberry Award Foundation, the organizers of these loser honors, seems to just hate particular actors and actresses. They have a particular hatred for Penelope Cruz (who was nominated as Worst Actress for every film she released this year) and a dislike for the lead star in this out-of-gas racecar film, Sylvester Stallone. This film is basically just "Rocky V" in a F1 racecar. The once on-top driver has to teach the new rookie how to cope with himself before he can compete successfully on the track. Maybe the Italian Stallion should take a lesson from himself? If he could fill a theater with a movie about a child custody case settled through arm wrestling like in "Over the Top," why can't he come away with a winner with great special effects, fast cars and Burt Reynolds? It's time to hang up the gloves.\n3000 Miles to Graceland\nKevin Costner, what the hell happened? You seem to get worse and worse with every role you take. Who keeps on giving him roles? The film is not that bad -- oh don't get me wrong it's really bad -- but the downfall is with The Postman's performance. It's just not believable that the lovable "If you build it he will come" Ray Kinsella could actually play the part of the soulless cop-killing, casino-robbing, illegitimate son of Elvis in this film. Sure they have big names like Kurt Russell, Christian Slater and Courtney Cox Arquette, but none of these actors have had a good film since the early '90s. Maybe if we get them all together, all their crappy performances will cancel each other out and we'll have a winner. Wrong.\nFreddy Got Fingered\nBefore I start about this one I want to say I am a huge fan of Tom Green. With that, I want to also say that this movie is one of the worst I have ever seen. Yes, I laughed at parts, but there were just too many times that I thought he went too far, and anyone who knows me knows that it is hard to go too far for me when it comes to humor. Any film that has accusations of child molestation as a major point probably won't have people rushing to the theaters. This also got nominated for Worst Script, which is a surprise only because it's surprising that the film had a script. This film hurt me in every conceivable way, and I will not forgive you Mr. Green. You touched me in places before with your comedy and now…and now…I can't even talk about this.\nGlitter\nIf you can tell, the order of this is not random, which means that the worst film of the year, in my opinion and soon to be the Razzie's opinion as well: "Glitter." I cannot even describe how bad this movie is. I can't even imagine that Mariah Carey's biggest fans would even like this movie, and that includes her family. The film takes place in 1983, but why? Nothing in the movie stands out about the '80s except that one guy, "Dice," says one time, "This is the '80s, Billy." Speaking of "Dice," it hurts me to say this, but as bad as Carey was, Max Beesley, the man who played this role, was 10 times worse. "Horrible, terrible, catastrophically bad" cannot even begin to describe this waste of film. \nSo, the obvious winner of these awards will undoubtedly be "Glitter." Some of these films shouldn't have been nominated with such trash as Lance Bass's "On the Line," "How High," "Saving Silverman" and "Scary Movie 2" also out this year, but big names will outdo horrible rapper actors and teen heart-throbs, but will never outdo the self-aggrandizing superficiality of a "diva"