Ask the Sexpert

Dear Sexpert,\nMy partner and I have been enjoying ourselves a lot lately, and we have a very good sex life. We like sex a lot and I want to have it frequently, as does he, but I get sore after a few sexual encounters in a short period of time. I am lucky enough to have multiple orgasms nearly every time we have sex, but I want to increase the number of times we have sex. Is there any correlation between the soreness and the multiple orgasms? Is there anything I can do to not be sore, any exercise or technique? Is it bad to keep having sex if I'm sore?\nToo Sore to Score\nDear Sore,\nWhether your soreness has to do with your multiple orgasms depends on what kind of pain it is. As you might know, when you have an orgasm, your uterus and vaginal muscles contract and relax in rapid succession. So if you have several orgasms during a brief period of time, several times a day, for several days in a row, you could experience some mild muscle soreness. You might even consider this a satisfactory kind of pain, similar to when your muscles are sore the day after a strenuous workout. That kind of pain signifies an accomplishment.\nIf that's the kind of pain you're feeling, you might find that exercising some of the muscles in your pelvic region can strengthen them and improve their flexibility, alleviating some of the pain. Think of yourself as an athlete going into spring training to prepare for your next multi-orgasmic sex marathon. Your personalized sex workout should include abdominal clenches, pelvic clenches and Kegel exercises: clench and release the muscles in your pubic area as though you're trying to stop urinating mid-flow. The great thing about this kind of exercise is that you can do it while driving, writing a paper or sitting in class, and no one will ever know.\nMy guess is that the pain you're experiencing isn't muscle pain, but chafing of the delicate vaginal skin that can result from lots of sex (unofficially known as the "rope burn" effect). This kind of chafing is usually the result of a lack of sufficient lubrication. Even if you're highly aroused, sex for long periods of time can strip away your natural lubrication. This is an easy problem to remedy. Just stock up on a good water-based lubricant such as KY or Astroglide (don't forget that oil-based products can destroy condoms) and reapply frequently throughout your encounter.\nIf rope burn is the culprit behind your pain, you should take a couple of days off to allow yourself to heal before engaging in another sexual encounter. The tiny abrasions can leave you more susceptible to a sexually transmitted disease, as anything lurking in your partner's bodily fluids will have more direct access to your bloodstream. Having more sex when you're already sore will only aggravate the abrasions. But if you maintain proper hygiene and wear breathable cotton underwear, you should heal up and be back in the ring in no time.\nWhether your pain is caused by chafing or muscle soreness, it's still a good idea to isolate and strengthen your sex muscles. Exercising these muscles will strengthen them and help increase blood flow to that region. This will ultimately help you to become more aroused and might even improve your ability to orgasm. Not that it sounds like you need any help with that.\nSend questions and comments to jfinkel@indiana.edu.