Sexpert

Dear Sexpert,\nI'm a woman with inverted nipples, and I really hate them. I'm self-conscious about them not only because they're weird, but also because I think they just look ugly compared to normal nipples. It's a constant source of embarrassment to me, and it makes me hate getting naked in front of others (whether it's in the locker room or the bedroom). Why are they like that? Will they ever look normal? Is there anything I can do to change them?\nInside-out\nDear Inside-out,\nInverted nipples are caused when the length of the milk duct is shorter than the depth of the breast, causing the tip of the nipple to be pulled into the breast. This really isn't all that unusual; it's generally considered to be a normal variation in the spectrum of breast shape and size.\nIn some women, inverted nipples might "pop out" when they become erect during arousal, but this isn't always the case. Most women with inverted nipples are able to breastfeed, and pregnancy has been known to make some inverted nipples stand out at least temporarily.\nThe only time inverted nipples are a cause for concern is if they used to be turned outward, but only recently became inverted. This change can be a sign of a serious breast disease, so if that's the case, you should see a doctor immediately. But if you've had inverted nipples at least since your breasts developed at puberty, you don't have anything to worry about.\nSo really, the only problem with inverted nipples is the self-consciousness many women feel. I think a lot of this probably has to do with the fact that we don't usually see women's bodies depicted with realistic variations that naturally exist, so we're brainwashed into thinking that there is really only one kind of acceptable nipple. The real crime here is that your perfectly normal, natural nipples are causing you to be so self-conscious that it's hindering your sexual enjoyment.\nAs far as permanently changing the direction of your nipple projection, there isn't much you can do, short of cosmetic surgery, and even that is a shaky solution. In many cases, surgery done to "correct" inverted nipples involves severing the milk duct, so you won't be able to breast feed should you choose to have children. That seems like a lot to sacrifice for a relatively minor gain.\nOf course, there are new developments in the field of cosmetic surgery all the time, so it's possible that someone will invent some revolutionary new nipple-extroverter that promises to change your life forever. If you are truly that deeply self-conscious about your nipples and desperate to alter them, then by all means, consult a surgeon and see what he or she says.\nBut my advice is to simply accept them. I know that's easier said than done, but look at it this way: Why should you let such a tiny little part of your whole body be the one thing that stops you from enjoying sex? How is that fair? And anyway, what's with this whole double standard with "innie" belly-buttons and "outie" nipples? Now you can have a matched set, or even be reversed from the norm! Frankly, that's a lot cooler. Take pride in your not-so-run-of-the-mill nipples. Show them off with glee. And use them as a permanent reminder that you refuse to conform to anybody's ideal beauty standards.\nSend questions and comments to the Sexpert at jfinkel@indiana.edu.