Surviving spring break at home

So, you're spending spring break at home. Cheer up: taking a trip to some warm, exotic place filled with scantily clad people drinking beer from public fountains can't possibly be as fun as it looks. \nBecause they can't afford it, or for whatever reason, students aren't able to escape the family every year. At some point in our lives, we've all spent a week in March sitting too close to the television, eating Cheez Doodles and watching MTV, we try to pretend we didn't hear the suggestion our parents made about "working a few days" while we're home. \nStill, a spring break spent with your parents can be just as thrilling as any trip taken with your friends, if you know how to do it right. \nThe key to enjoying yourself is to sloth wholeheartedly. Don't just be lazy. Fully commit yourself to avoiding any activities that are the least bit productive. \nIt's not enough to simply sleep. Most amateurs make the mistake of thinking they can survive a spring break with the family by sleeping for 12 hours a day, but this is foolish. Those of us who have been there before know that a sleeping person can easily be woken up and forced to seek gainful employment. \nSleep is, of course, a vital part of your plan. But a true expert knows one must also be able to give the illusion of accomplishing something, instead of merely lying indolent on the sofa. \nA handy tool for this is the spring break Required Reading List, which consists of the Harry Potter books and the complete collection of Calvin & Hobbes. All are highly entertaining and possess very little educational value, making them indispensable in the event of a family Scrabble game, ("Can't play now, I'm on page 700 of "The Goblet of Fire!")\nIf all else fails, study, but stick to subjects you like and try to avoid learning anything. You could even study material from last semester, just so you don't accidentally acquire any new information while you're on vacation. But if it's work, not family togetherness, your parents are pushing for, you might need to bite the bullet and suggest you all spend a little family time together. Remember parents are always good for food, and will probably take you to at least one nice restaurant during break. \nWith a little skill, being actively lazy can make your spring break at home just as enjoyable as running around with your friends beneath a warm tropical sun. By now you're probably pitying the poor saps who put all that time and money into what they thought was the perfect spring break in Cancun or Miami or any other region filled with UV rays, controlled substances and beautiful people. You'll have much more fun than they will.\nReally.