'Grounded For Life:' A right-wing conspiracy

Areputable critic's final aim is not to arouse violent antagonistic responses from the industry and strong partisan support from a handful of readers; it is to involve broadcasters and the public in a cooperative critical endeavor." \nPeter B. Orlick cites this quote in his textbook "Electronic Media Criticism."\nWell, Peter, as a real TV critic, I can officially say that you've got your head up your ass. Being a TV critic means you're part of a war! We critics in the trenches square off every week with sadistic networks who spoon-feed helpless viewers the worst kind of tripe to indoctrinate the audience with ideology -- just as the writers at Cahiers Du Cinema, a communist French magazine that attacks American movies and TV shows to efface the humiliation of 1940 with a lot of snide remarks.\nIt's my obligation to grab viewers by the balls -- metaphorically of course -- and scream in their faces: "Don't watch this show! It's part of a right-wing conspiracy!"\nThat's why I forced myself to watch Fox's new slobcom, "Grounded for Life" (8:30 p.m. Wednesday). I never entertained any notion that I would like it, but I sought it out like the masochistic bitch I am because it is my job to stop the propaganda machine. \n"Grounded for Life" is about a family made up of people who you just want to take into a back alley and beat the ever-living piss out of. The parents are caricatures of stereotypical wussy liberals who are held hostage by their children, especially their evil teenage daughter, Lily (Lynsey Bartilson).\nIn her mother's words, Lily has two settings: "rage and screaming rage." When her parents find a fake ID in her room, they are scared to confront her because she throws a fit when anyone enters her room without her permission. When her little brother tried it, she threatened to poison him.\nWhen Lily's father tries to ask her about the fake ID, all he can do is squawk as she has a temper-tantrum and screams about her right to privacy.\nAs I watched Lily's parents unable to confront her, all I could think of is one thing: Hitler and Chamberlin. That's right. In trying to show the problems parents have raising kids when their children are smarter than they are, "Grounded for Life" inadvertently shows the futility of appeasement and calls for a right-wing assertion of power.\nAre you listening Peter Orlick? I am going to "enlighten the artist (producers) on the true meaning" of this show as you prescribed!\nWhen Lily's grandfather asks, "Who's runnin' this house anyway?," he poses the question at the heart of shows such as "Oz" and "100 Centre Street," namely: What are the limits of compassion in a democracy when is it necessary to rule like a tyrant?\nBy showing Lily's parents' ineptitude to stand up to her, "Grounded for Life" illustrates how compassionate liberals cannot counter an aggressor -- the same thing happens on "Oz," where realistic-minded convicts like Adebisi eat the liberal and idealistic head of the prison block alive.\nLily's parents' paralysis is contrasted to her grandfather's assertiveness. In a flashback sequence, we see how Lily's grandfather routinely searched her father's room, ransacking it, going as far to take apart an Etch A Sketch. \nThe message is crystal clear: Even though Lily's parents were born circa 1970, they're part of the no-good hippie-crite generation that cost us victory in Vietnam! They are contrasted with the World War II generation, or the grandfather: While Lily's parents sit on their asses, debating the morality of checking Lily's e-mail, the grandfather demands action! Furthermore, under similar circumstances, the grandfather got results!\nYou are supposed to want Lily's father to follow in the grandfather's footsteps and smack Lily around, tell her who's boss and literally ground her for life. And that's exactly what the right-wing wants: To take control to save us from ourselves.\nThus "Grounded for Life" is imbued with the same Right-wing ideology that Norman Podhoretz espoused when he questioned hippies' "willingness to defend (their own country) against external enemies." If those liberal wussies had tried to fight Hitler, the ideology dictates, they would have surrendered quicker than the French, who developed this mode of criticism.