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Thursday, March 28
The Indiana Daily Student

Ask the Sexpert

Dear Sexpert,\nI'm gay and have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year and a half. We are looking to spice up our sex life a little and are considering trying a strap-on. We've done some searching on the Internet but there are so many different types to choose from. It's quite overwhelming. What do you suggest? Can you give us a little direction in our search? \nPacking Up\nDear Packing Up,\nFirst of all, congratulations on deciding to branch out and try something new. The first thing I suggest is that you experiment with regular old dildos, if you haven't already. That way, you can both have a chance to decide if you really like the feeling of penetration, and you can get a better idea of what size dildo you prefer.\nI should warn you that buying sex toys is like buying a car -- there's a whole range of prices, styles and options to consider. What you decide to buy depends on what kind of investment you want to make: Do you want to splurge on a top-of-the-line model with a lifetime guarantee, or do you just want something simple you can experiment with without dropping a lot of cash?\nWhen it comes to strap-ons, you have the option of buying a dildo and a harness separately, or purchasing them together as a set. If you're just starting out, you might prefer to go with the matching set; if you already have a dildo you're particularly fond of, you may opt to just buy the harness.\nHarnesses come in two styles. The single-strap has one central strap that runs between the legs like a G-string. The double-strap has two leg straps, with one going around each thigh. (Men usually prefer double-straps, because they provide more room underneath for the "real" genitals.) Both styles have a ring or panel with an opening in the front, through which you would insert a dildo with a flared base. The base of the dildo rests against your pubic bone. Usually, all the straps on harnesses are adjustable for maximum fit and comfort.\nIf you're buying the pieces separately, you'll also have to go through a selection process for the dildo. You can choose from just about any shape, size, style, material or color one could imagine. Many claim that silicone dildos are the best. They are hand-molded, have a soft-but-not-too-soft texture, and are easy to clean. But, their "superiority" is reflected in their price tags. Again, the style you choose should depend on how much you want to spend, as well as your personal preferences for texture, size, etc. Just make sure the style you choose has a flared base, so it won't fall out of the harness.\nOne alternative to the basic harness you might want to consider is the thigh harness, which allows you to strap a dildo onto your thigh. It may look a little weird, but it can allow you to experiment with different positions and possibilities for both partners to be stimulated simultaneously.\nHarnesses sold at adult bookstores are generally not as well made as those you could get from a specialty shop or a catalog. I strongly recommend that you visit Good Vibrations' Web site at www.goodvibes.com. They have a wide variety of styles, including the "Get Packing" kit, which includes a double-strap harness, a dildo and some lubricant. You can order directly off the Web, or request a catalog. Good Vibrations also offers useful tips on how to choose your ideal dildo and how to clean it. \nSend questions and comments to the Sexpert at jfinkel@indiana.edu.

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