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(08/03/06 4:00am)
Dave Chappelle is an idiot. No, his comedy isn't stupid; in fact it's quite intelligent. But, $50 million?!? Come on man, how do you pass that up? On the other hand Comedy Central is quite smart for releasing "Chappelle's Show: The Lost Episodes" and milking the Chappelle teat for all it's worth.\nIt seems production on the show's third season didn't get very far before Dave took off, so the disc only contains three episodes. And they're measly at that. Without commercials there's about only an hour's worth of footage, but what's there is damn funny. Chappelle has said that one of the main reasons he bailed was the pressure (yeah $50 mil is a lot of pressure) to maintain the show's quality. And while these episodes don't quite measure up to the first two seasons, if they had aired with a full season, viewers probably wouldn't be outraged in disappointment. Several times throughout the first episode Chappelle references his situation and the giant amount of money (and jokes about getting his own cereal and attempting to turn the L'il Jon sketch into a full length movie), so at least the audience is aware that he realizes what rests on his shoulders. So Dave, you were doing fine, why not finish? Oh well, the complaining of a college paper writer isn't going to bring him back…\nSome of the skits of the first episode are pretty short and feel unfinished but that's all solved on the next two episodes. The disc's highlights include a skit where the "new" TuPac single plays in a club and references current events. In a parody of MTV's "Cribs" instead of having an extensive closet, Dave shows off his built-in sweatshop complete with migrant workers. He also spoofs former presidential candidate Howard Dean (his cry of BYAHHH would be the "I'm Rick James, bitch" of this season). Then there's "The Racist Pixie" skit in which members of different races try not to confine to the stereotypes of their race in front of other people. It's extremely offensive and extremely funny. Chappelle told Time Magazine that he felt this and other skits weren't necessarily commenting on racism but were beginning to reinforce negative discriminations. To cover the show's ass and make it seem like the latter is false, there's an open audience discussion (which occasionally sounds scripted) about the repercussions of the skit. \nAside from the show footage, Chappelle is understandably absent from the disc. The episodes are hosted by costars Charlie Murphy and Donnell Rawlings (hopefully these guys continue to get work). Special features include a few more unaired sketches, bloopers and deleted scenes from what made the cut. Christopher Flockton of Vh1's "The Fabulous Life Of…" series narrates a feature called "The Fabulous Making of Chappelle's Season 3ish" that showcases more of the postproduction and editing process than the actual filming. The audio commentary is more interesting and gives some insight on to what happened and how the rest of the crew reacted. It's clear that the show that this is the end of the line for "Chappelle's Show" but Dave, thanks for the hilarity over the last three years.
(08/02/06 7:23pm)
Dave Chappelle is an idiot. No, his comedy isn't stupid; in fact it's quite intelligent. But, $50 million?!? Come on man, how do you pass that up? On the other hand Comedy Central is quite smart for releasing "Chappelle's Show: The Lost Episodes" and milking the Chappelle teat for all it's worth.\nIt seems production on the show's third season didn't get very far before Dave took off, so the disc only contains three episodes. And they're measly at that. Without commercials there's about only an hour's worth of footage, but what's there is damn funny. Chappelle has said that one of the main reasons he bailed was the pressure (yeah $50 mil is a lot of pressure) to maintain the show's quality. And while these episodes don't quite measure up to the first two seasons, if they had aired with a full season, viewers probably wouldn't be outraged in disappointment. Several times throughout the first episode Chappelle references his situation and the giant amount of money (and jokes about getting his own cereal and attempting to turn the L'il Jon sketch into a full length movie), so at least the audience is aware that he realizes what rests on his shoulders. So Dave, you were doing fine, why not finish? Oh well, the complaining of a college paper writer isn't going to bring him back…\nSome of the skits of the first episode are pretty short and feel unfinished but that's all solved on the next two episodes. The disc's highlights include a skit where the "new" TuPac single plays in a club and references current events. In a parody of MTV's "Cribs" instead of having an extensive closet, Dave shows off his built-in sweatshop complete with migrant workers. He also spoofs former presidential candidate Howard Dean (his cry of BYAHHH would be the "I'm Rick James, bitch" of this season). Then there's "The Racist Pixie" skit in which members of different races try not to confine to the stereotypes of their race in front of other people. It's extremely offensive and extremely funny. Chappelle told Time Magazine that he felt this and other skits weren't necessarily commenting on racism but were beginning to reinforce negative discriminations. To cover the show's ass and make it seem like the latter is false, there's an open audience discussion (which occasionally sounds scripted) about the repercussions of the skit. \nAside from the show footage, Chappelle is understandably absent from the disc. The episodes are hosted by costars Charlie Murphy and Donnell Rawlings (hopefully these guys continue to get work). Special features include a few more unaired sketches, bloopers and deleted scenes from what made the cut. Christopher Flockton of Vh1's "The Fabulous Life Of…" series narrates a feature called "The Fabulous Making of Chappelle's Season 3ish" that showcases more of the postproduction and editing process than the actual filming. The audio commentary is more interesting and gives some insight on to what happened and how the rest of the crew reacted. It's clear that the show that this is the end of the line for "Chappelle's Show" but Dave, thanks for the hilarity over the last three years.
(08/02/06 7:03pm)
With "The Ant Bully," "Monster House" and "Barnyard" all in theaters, how's an 8-year-old supposed to choose what movie to beg their parents into submission to take them to see. Well, uh, if you were an 8-year-old, "The Ant Bully" would be a decent choice. \nSick of being picked on by the neighborhood bully, nerdy Lucas takes his anger out on the helpless ant colony in his lawn. Fed up with the destruction to his society that Lucas causes, Zoc (Nicolas Cage,) the wizard ant (yes, a wizard ant, sounds dumb, but the plot needs to start somehow) creates a potion that shrinks Lucas to ant size. Put on trial for his crimes, the Ant Queen (an underused Meryl Streep, how do you underuse Meryl?!?) orders Lucas to work amongst the ants to learn and appreciate their ways. \nGoing into the film I tried very hard to keep an open mind and not constantly compare it to "A Bug's Life" and "Antz," but it was near impossible not to. Yes, "The Ant Bully" does a good job of animating an ant colony and depicting how the human world looks to such small creatures, but it felt much more fresh and original back in 1998 when the other bug movies were released. Heck, even before that with 1989's "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids." \nAs Zoc, Cage is, well, interesting to say the least. In the beginning his vocals are all over the place and quite painful to listen to. However as the film progresses he gets a hold of things and gives the best performance in the film, until suddenly he begins awkwardly pausing mid-sentence, sounding like the "Family Guy" impersonation of William Shatner. Supporting Cage is a slew of Hollywood A-listers including Julia Roberts, Paul Giamatti, Regina King, Bruce Campbell and the neglected Lily Tomlin and Cheri O'Teri as Lucas' mom and grandma. All do a fine job, but why do studios insist on hiring pricey, big names for cartoons rather than finding actors best suited for the role? The actors might get parents to buy tickets easier, but is anybody really viewing this as Julia's return since the twins?\nThe movie is heavy on morals, which will get tedious for older audiences. But it's probably a good thing kids learn the ants' values of not being selfish and putting society's needs in front of your own. That way they don't grow up to be rude assholes and can function as good citizens in society. But come to think of it, this sounds more like a communist civilization. Oh well, good thing this didn't come out in the 50s or McCarthy would've been all over director John Davis' ass.
(07/27/06 4:00am)
If you thought Superman had father figure issues, Kal-El's got nothing on G-girl, the heroine of "My Super Ex-Girlfriend." A lack of fatherly affection at a young age is the only possible explanation for the insane way she lashes out at gentlemen callers.\nLuke Wilson plays Matt Saunders, an unsuccessful dater who takes a chance on asking out a stranger, Jenny Johnson, on a subway. Unbeknownst to Matt, Jenny is actually superhero, G-Girl (Uma Thurman). The two start to date and Matt gets to experience what it's like to be with someone who is, well, super. During the first hour the film's tone is kept quick and breezy. It actually manages to sneak in some good laughs about what it'd be like to date a super. And because it never really takes itself too seriously, it manages to be kind of fun. But it's all down hill once Matt dumps Jenny, and as G-Girl, she begins to make his life hell. \nShe throws his car into space, hurls a shark in his apartment, all the not so funny things seen in the previews. Needy is an understatement for G-Girl. She's a psychotic bitch, think Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction" x 1000, whose mental instability is more annoying than funny. At one point Jenny tells Matt, "I have to help people everyday and nobody ever helps me, you really are my hero." Ok, so maybe she deserves a little sympathy, but not too much.\nIn a world of franchises, remakes and other recycled material, it's nice to see that director Ivan Reitman and writer Don Payne have tried a somewhat original premise and created a new character. However (and here's where my inner nerd comes out) the character of G-girl is extremely underwritten. All we're shown about her origin is that her undefined powers came from a stray asteroid. And for those girls excited for a new female superhero to look up to, G-Girl is anything but. Her name is G-Girl, not G-Woman. Her whole life revolves around needing to be accepted by men and as soon as she gains her powers her hair turns blond (great message.)\nAnd to answer the question everyone's waiting for; what's it like to fuck a superhero? Is it the greatest feeling ever or would you feel so inept that you want to find your own fortress of solitude and curl into the fetal position and cry for months? Well, the sex scenes are the film's highlight and Wilson smiled a lot. So much that maybe all the crazy aftermath would be worth it.
(07/26/06 7:52pm)
If you thought Superman had father figure issues, Kal-El's got nothing on G-girl, the heroine of "My Super Ex-Girlfriend." A lack of fatherly affection at a young age is the only possible explanation for the insane way she lashes out at gentlemen callers.\nLuke Wilson plays Matt Saunders, an unsuccessful dater who takes a chance on asking out a stranger, Jenny Johnson, on a subway. Unbeknownst to Matt, Jenny is actually superhero, G-Girl (Uma Thurman). The two start to date and Matt gets to experience what it's like to be with someone who is, well, super. During the first hour the film's tone is kept quick and breezy. It actually manages to sneak in some good laughs about what it'd be like to date a super. And because it never really takes itself too seriously, it manages to be kind of fun. But it's all down hill once Matt dumps Jenny, and as G-Girl, she begins to make his life hell. \nShe throws his car into space, hurls a shark in his apartment, all the not so funny things seen in the previews. Needy is an understatement for G-Girl. She's a psychotic bitch, think Glenn Close in "Fatal Attraction" x 1000, whose mental instability is more annoying than funny. At one point Jenny tells Matt, "I have to help people everyday and nobody ever helps me, you really are my hero." Ok, so maybe she deserves a little sympathy, but not too much.\nIn a world of franchises, remakes and other recycled material, it's nice to see that director Ivan Reitman and writer Don Payne have tried a somewhat original premise and created a new character. However (and here's where my inner nerd comes out) the character of G-girl is extremely underwritten. All we're shown about her origin is that her undefined powers came from a stray asteroid. And for those girls excited for a new female superhero to look up to, G-Girl is anything but. Her name is G-Girl, not G-Woman. Her whole life revolves around needing to be accepted by men and as soon as she gains her powers her hair turns blond (great message.)\nAnd to answer the question everyone's waiting for; what's it like to fuck a superhero? Is it the greatest feeling ever or would you feel so inept that you want to find your own fortress of solitude and curl into the fetal position and cry for months? Well, the sex scenes are the film's highlight and Wilson smiled a lot. So much that maybe all the crazy aftermath would be worth it.
(07/20/06 4:00am)
Meh. That's the only word I can think of to describe "You, Me and Dupree." What? I need another 400 words? Crap, ok …It's not that the jokes in "You, Me and Dupree" aren't funny; there just aren't many of them. A few comments may evoke a smirk, but there's really nothing laugh-out-loud funny like most Owen Wilson films.\nThe movie's plot is basically a sitcom premise. Unemployed party boy Dupree loses his job and moves in with his best friend Carl (Matt Dillon) much to the dismay of his new bride Molly (Kate Hudson). The first hour is the same scene repeated several times. Carl and Molly wake up in the morning to go to work and find Dupree passed out on the couch. Throughout the day Dupree makes some attempt at finding a job but gives up to play with the neighborhood kids. Then right as Molly and Carl are about to return home (uh-oh) Dupree pulls some asinine stunt.\nSometimes it's only harmless play, but actions like ordering HBO, hiring stripers and beating off in the living room are a little more than shrug worthy. Yes, Owen Wilson makes the character likable, but not so much that you'd still want him to be your best friend.\nFinally Dupree burns the house down and is kicked out (only to be let back in for what seems like the 12th time by Molly). Suddenly Dupree makes a complete 360 by cleaning up his act, becoming a semi-functional person who kind of turns into Molly's gay best friend. Carl suspects they're cheating and well, if you've seen "The Break-Up," the last hour is exactly the same. Carl and Molly argue and scream, eventually causing Carl to leave. And just like "The Break-Up," because the couple is constantly arguing (but not about any real issues) it's not serious enough to come off as a decent drama, yet there isn't any room for comedy except from the supporting cast, who don't really deliver. \nOn a side note when Matt Dillon first appeared my friend shouted "Hey, it's Johnny Drama's brother!" It made me laugh realizing that Matt's brother Kevin is now more famous, but then I realized I'd rather be at home watching "Entourage." \nAlso, Dupree falls for one of Molly's co-workers and after a one night stand begins to stalk her a little. He says his life won't be complete without her, yet the character is never seen nor heard. What's the deal? Instead of paying for a Lance Armstrong cameo (whose book gets some nice publicity) I'm sure Universal could've thrown out a few more bucks to hire an unknown actress. All we know is her name is Mandy, that way Dupree can later cry to the Barry Manilow song of the same name. \nThroughout the film there are awkwardly long clips of "The Sopranos" and "Roman Holiday" plus references to "Goodfellas," "Breaking Away" and "Fletch." All of those are much better, rent one of them instead. How many words was that? 400? Phew.
(07/19/06 4:58pm)
Meh. That's the only word I can think of to describe "You, Me and Dupree." What? I need another 400 words? Crap, ok …It's not that the jokes in "You, Me and Dupree" aren't funny; there just aren't many of them. A few comments may evoke a smirk, but there's really nothing laugh-out-loud funny like most Owen Wilson films.\nThe movie's plot is basically a sitcom premise. Unemployed party boy Dupree loses his job and moves in with his best friend Carl (Matt Dillon) much to the dismay of his new bride Molly (Kate Hudson). The first hour is the same scene repeated several times. Carl and Molly wake up in the morning to go to work and find Dupree passed out on the couch. Throughout the day Dupree makes some attempt at finding a job but gives up to play with the neighborhood kids. Then right as Molly and Carl are about to return home (uh-oh) Dupree pulls some asinine stunt.\nSometimes it's only harmless play, but actions like ordering HBO, hiring stripers and beating off in the living room are a little more than shrug worthy. Yes, Owen Wilson makes the character likable, but not so much that you'd still want him to be your best friend.\nFinally Dupree burns the house down and is kicked out (only to be let back in for what seems like the 12th time by Molly). Suddenly Dupree makes a complete 360 by cleaning up his act, becoming a semi-functional person who kind of turns into Molly's gay best friend. Carl suspects they're cheating and well, if you've seen "The Break-Up," the last hour is exactly the same. Carl and Molly argue and scream, eventually causing Carl to leave. And just like "The Break-Up," because the couple is constantly arguing (but not about any real issues) it's not serious enough to come off as a decent drama, yet there isn't any room for comedy except from the supporting cast, who don't really deliver. \nOn a side note when Matt Dillon first appeared my friend shouted "Hey, it's Johnny Drama's brother!" It made me laugh realizing that Matt's brother Kevin is now more famous, but then I realized I'd rather be at home watching "Entourage." \nAlso, Dupree falls for one of Molly's co-workers and after a one night stand begins to stalk her a little. He says his life won't be complete without her, yet the character is never seen nor heard. What's the deal? Instead of paying for a Lance Armstrong cameo (whose book gets some nice publicity) I'm sure Universal could've thrown out a few more bucks to hire an unknown actress. All we know is her name is Mandy, that way Dupree can later cry to the Barry Manilow song of the same name. \nThroughout the film there are awkwardly long clips of "The Sopranos" and "Roman Holiday" plus references to "Goodfellas," "Breaking Away" and "Fletch." All of those are much better, rent one of them instead. How many words was that? 400? Phew.
(07/13/06 4:00am)
Yeah…so when your movie sucks it's probably not such a great idea to put "failure" in the title. \nMatthew McConaughey plays eligible bachelor, Tripp, who at 35 years old, still lives with his parents. Frustrated by their situation, and jealous of their friend's sex lives (which brings back bad memories of Kathy Bates' "About Schmidt" hot tub scene), Tripp's parents (Bates and Terry Bradshaw) hire Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker) to date their son and get him to move out for good. Just like with McConaughey's "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days," (in which both leads have hidden agendas for why they want the relationship to falter) a premise that could make for a decent romantic comedy is wrongly executed, resulting in crap. It'd make more sense if Paula had found the man of her dreams, only to learn he still lives at home. And then maybe with some help from the parents, works to get him to leave; not because she is being paid to do so. Paula calls herself a "professional interventionist," which sounds more like a fancy term for hooker. Because of the business deal involved it's obvious that Paula will eventually fall for Tripp and then have to deal with the aftermath of him discovering her plan. But do they end up together? What do you think?\nTo provide humor while the story pans out, McConaughey is constantly attacked by nature. Throughout the film he is mauled by chipmunks, lizards and dolphins; it's completely random and not even funny. Tripp's best friend claims that nature isn't at peace with his unnatural lifestyle. Sure most animals leave their parents while very young, but a lot also hatch from eggs. In a "making of" special feature the writers, Tom Astle and Jay Ember, unsuccessfully try to justify the critter assaults citing the appearances of animals on "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson" as inspiration. However when Johnny did it, it was unscripted and he had monkeys sitting on his head, not a CGI squirrel ripping off his finger.\nZooey Deschanel and Bradley Cooper are stuck playing the lead couple's best friends. The two aren't quite yet big stars, but they've got the talent to be. It would have be nice to see them play the main characters, but at the same time maybe it's better they didn't get their big breaks in such a dumb vehicle. \nSpecial features include the theatrical trailer, a "dating in the new millennium" feature where magazine editors offer hope to all the desperate people who will rent this and a segment where Bradshaw and McConaughey interview each other. There's also a pretty interesting feature called "The Failure to Launch Phenomenon" that follows several real life middle-aged-men still living at home. Unfortunately, these guys fit the exact stereotype of somebody you'd expect to still live with his parents.
(07/12/06 3:47pm)
Yeah…so when your movie sucks it's probably not such a great idea to put "failure" in the title. \nMatthew McConaughey plays eligible bachelor, Tripp, who at 35 years old, still lives with his parents. Frustrated by their situation, and jealous of their friend's sex lives (which brings back bad memories of Kathy Bates' "About Schmidt" hot tub scene), Tripp's parents (Bates and Terry Bradshaw) hire Paula (Sarah Jessica Parker) to date their son and get him to move out for good. Just like with McConaughey's "How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days," (in which both leads have hidden agendas for why they want the relationship to falter) a premise that could make for a decent romantic comedy is wrongly executed, resulting in crap. It'd make more sense if Paula had found the man of her dreams, only to learn he still lives at home. And then maybe with some help from the parents, works to get him to leave; not because she is being paid to do so. Paula calls herself a "professional interventionist," which sounds more like a fancy term for hooker. Because of the business deal involved it's obvious that Paula will eventually fall for Tripp and then have to deal with the aftermath of him discovering her plan. But do they end up together? What do you think?\nTo provide humor while the story pans out, McConaughey is constantly attacked by nature. Throughout the film he is mauled by chipmunks, lizards and dolphins; it's completely random and not even funny. Tripp's best friend claims that nature isn't at peace with his unnatural lifestyle. Sure most animals leave their parents while very young, but a lot also hatch from eggs. In a "making of" special feature the writers, Tom Astle and Jay Ember, unsuccessfully try to justify the critter assaults citing the appearances of animals on "The Tonight Show with Johnny Carson" as inspiration. However when Johnny did it, it was unscripted and he had monkeys sitting on his head, not a CGI squirrel ripping off his finger.\nZooey Deschanel and Bradley Cooper are stuck playing the lead couple's best friends. The two aren't quite yet big stars, but they've got the talent to be. It would have be nice to see them play the main characters, but at the same time maybe it's better they didn't get their big breaks in such a dumb vehicle. \nSpecial features include the theatrical trailer, a "dating in the new millennium" feature where magazine editors offer hope to all the desperate people who will rent this and a segment where Bradshaw and McConaughey interview each other. There's also a pretty interesting feature called "The Failure to Launch Phenomenon" that follows several real life middle-aged-men still living at home. Unfortunately, these guys fit the exact stereotype of somebody you'd expect to still live with his parents.
(06/29/06 4:00am)
In March critics and audiences were shocked and unhappy when the Oscar unwisely went to "Crash." Sure the Academy deserved some criticism, but we should focus our anger on the Emmys, who for far too long have been making the wrong TV decisions. Hopefully July 6th Emmy nominations announcements bring good news. \nThis year the Emmys instituted a new voting system. Voters will now send in their top choices and then a separate panel will narrow down the most popular. This new approach gives rating challenged shows and cable series a better chance. Unfortunately it's too little, too late. Over the years the Emmys have snubbed too many worthy candidates and continued to honor the same few shows, long after most of them had run out of creative steam. Last year "Will and Grace," which hasn't been funny for years, was the top nominated show. Frequent winner "Everybody Loves Raymond" was consistently hilarious, but how many freaking awards did Doris Roberts need? So now even if five never-nominated, deserving nominees fill out the spots, there will still be a great number of snubs. Solution? Allow ties and more than five nominees in each category. This way past grievances are forgiven and present achievements are recognized. \nMany believe the new system exists to finally give Lauren Graham an award for "Gilmore Girls." And it's about damn time. In the show's six years it's only been nominated for Best Makeup (how generous) so hopefully it finally gets Emmy love. However instead of giving Graham the Best Lead Actress-Comedy award, why not speed up the process and give her a lifetime achievement award? That way more slots will be open in her category and "Gilmore" costars Kelly Bishop and Alexis Bledel have a shot too. \nAnd speaking of lifetime achievement awards a special award, due to its premature cancellation, should go to "Arrested Development" for Best Comedy Series of All Time*. The asterisk will denote "tied with 'I Love Lucy,' 'All in the Family' and 'Seinfeld,'" that way people don't get too pissed. The show took home Best Comedy Series, Best Directing and Best Writing back in 2004, however cast members Tony Hale, David Cross, Portia DiRossi, Will Arnett, Alia Shawkat and Michael Cera all have yet to be nominated.\nAccompanying "Arrested" for Best Comedy Series should be "The Office" (with acting nominations for Steve Carrell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer), "Entourage" (a Jeremy Piven nomination needs no explanation) and "Scrubs." "Scrubs" was finally nominated last year along with Zach Braff, but the rest of their ensemble cast (mainly John C. McGinley) are all members of the snub club. That leaves one spot left. I'd be content with any of four freshman comedies: "My Name is Earl" (Jason Lee and Jaime Pressly are shoo-ins), "Everybody Hates Chris," the cruelly canceled "The Comeback" and "Extras" (though with only six episodes in its season voters may think it too little). However Showtime's "Weeds," "Desperate Housewives" (even though most will think its quality has dropped), or "Will and Grace" (for parting reasons) will probably take it.\n"Desperate" causes a big problem. The show should be submitted in the drama categories, but instead it's entered as a comedy. All its actresses are submitted in the lead category instead of splitting them up into lead and supporting. Last year Felicity Huffman deservedly took home the award, but she and Eva Longoria should have been put in the supporting category, that way Huffman could take home the supporting and Marcia Cross could win the leading. But because they were grouped together Longoria was ignored. Longoria was the best thing about this season so she deserves a win. Teri Hatcher should be left out just for her continuous complaining of her Ryan Seacrest break-up (do you think he said "Seacrest out?") \nOld favorite "Curb Your Enthusiasm" will likely have to sit this award season out. The show is amazing, but this season was real weak. I've never been fazed by Larry David's outrageous behavior, but even I was a little disgusted when he accused a woman of hiding a baseball in her vagina. \nAs far as the dramas go, "Lost" amazes me and I'll have no problem if it takes home Best Drama Series again. But with Emmy favorites "The West Wing" and "Six Feet Under" finishing their runs, expect them to sweep many major categories. Obviously "The Sopranos" (thanks to the dorms not having HBO I've yet to see the sixth season) will get acknowledgment, along with past nominee "24" and HBO newcomer "Big Love." Critics are pulling for "Battlestar Galactica" but due to it being on the Sci-Fi Channel it doesn't stand much of a chance. Expect "Grey's Anatomy" to pull in nominees for its strong female supporting cast along with directing, writing and Best Series.\nHopefully the new system works and I'll shed a tear of joy as Lauren Graham accepts her award, but something tells me I'll be watching Debra Messing and crew at the podium all night. Oh well, at least they tried.
(06/27/06 7:38pm)
In March critics and audiences were shocked and unhappy when the Oscar unwisely went to "Crash." Sure the Academy deserved some criticism, but we should focus our anger on the Emmys, who for far too long have been making the wrong TV decisions. Hopefully July 6th Emmy nominations announcements bring good news. \nThis year the Emmys instituted a new voting system. Voters will now send in their top choices and then a separate panel will narrow down the most popular. This new approach gives rating challenged shows and cable series a better chance. Unfortunately it's too little, too late. Over the years the Emmys have snubbed too many worthy candidates and continued to honor the same few shows, long after most of them had run out of creative steam. Last year "Will and Grace," which hasn't been funny for years, was the top nominated show. Frequent winner "Everybody Loves Raymond" was consistently hilarious, but how many freaking awards did Doris Roberts need? So now even if five never-nominated, deserving nominees fill out the spots, there will still be a great number of snubs. Solution? Allow ties and more than five nominees in each category. This way past grievances are forgiven and present achievements are recognized. \nMany believe the new system exists to finally give Lauren Graham an award for "Gilmore Girls." And it's about damn time. In the show's six years it's only been nominated for Best Makeup (how generous) so hopefully it finally gets Emmy love. However instead of giving Graham the Best Lead Actress-Comedy award, why not speed up the process and give her a lifetime achievement award? That way more slots will be open in her category and "Gilmore" costars Kelly Bishop and Alexis Bledel have a shot too. \nAnd speaking of lifetime achievement awards a special award, due to its premature cancellation, should go to "Arrested Development" for Best Comedy Series of All Time*. The asterisk will denote "tied with 'I Love Lucy,' 'All in the Family' and 'Seinfeld,'" that way people don't get too pissed. The show took home Best Comedy Series, Best Directing and Best Writing back in 2004, however cast members Tony Hale, David Cross, Portia DiRossi, Will Arnett, Alia Shawkat and Michael Cera all have yet to be nominated.\nAccompanying "Arrested" for Best Comedy Series should be "The Office" (with acting nominations for Steve Carrell, Rainn Wilson, John Krasinski and Jenna Fischer), "Entourage" (a Jeremy Piven nomination needs no explanation) and "Scrubs." "Scrubs" was finally nominated last year along with Zach Braff, but the rest of their ensemble cast (mainly John C. McGinley) are all members of the snub club. That leaves one spot left. I'd be content with any of four freshman comedies: "My Name is Earl" (Jason Lee and Jaime Pressly are shoo-ins), "Everybody Hates Chris," the cruelly canceled "The Comeback" and "Extras" (though with only six episodes in its season voters may think it too little). However Showtime's "Weeds," "Desperate Housewives" (even though most will think its quality has dropped), or "Will and Grace" (for parting reasons) will probably take it.\n"Desperate" causes a big problem. The show should be submitted in the drama categories, but instead it's entered as a comedy. All its actresses are submitted in the lead category instead of splitting them up into lead and supporting. Last year Felicity Huffman deservedly took home the award, but she and Eva Longoria should have been put in the supporting category, that way Huffman could take home the supporting and Marcia Cross could win the leading. But because they were grouped together Longoria was ignored. Longoria was the best thing about this season so she deserves a win. Teri Hatcher should be left out just for her continuous complaining of her Ryan Seacrest break-up (do you think he said "Seacrest out?") \nOld favorite "Curb Your Enthusiasm" will likely have to sit this award season out. The show is amazing, but this season was real weak. I've never been fazed by Larry David's outrageous behavior, but even I was a little disgusted when he accused a woman of hiding a baseball in her vagina. \nAs far as the dramas go, "Lost" amazes me and I'll have no problem if it takes home Best Drama Series again. But with Emmy favorites "The West Wing" and "Six Feet Under" finishing their runs, expect them to sweep many major categories. Obviously "The Sopranos" (thanks to the dorms not having HBO I've yet to see the sixth season) will get acknowledgment, along with past nominee "24" and HBO newcomer "Big Love." Critics are pulling for "Battlestar Galactica" but due to it being on the Sci-Fi Channel it doesn't stand much of a chance. Expect "Grey's Anatomy" to pull in nominees for its strong female supporting cast along with directing, writing and Best Series.\nHopefully the new system works and I'll shed a tear of joy as Lauren Graham accepts her award, but something tells me I'll be watching Debra Messing and crew at the podium all night. Oh well, at least they tried.
(06/22/06 4:00am)
In "The Lake House" Sandra Bullock plays Kate, a lonely single forced to sell her secluded dream house when she takes a new job in Chicago. She leaves a note for the new tenant Alex (Keanu Reeves, still struggling with his lines after all these years) asking him to forward her mail. When the two notice their letters are dated two years apart, they realize something's not right. However, seeing the potential for romance, they accept the unfeasible situation in hopes of love.\n "The Lake House" is like two separate films in one. There's the movie about two slightly depressed middle-aged singles dealing with career and family issues. And then there's the supernatural one, where the same two people, living two years apart, write each other love letters and fall for each other. Yet somehow the asinine romance involving a magical mailbox seems so much more real than its practical counterpart. It feels so forced and fake when Alex tells Kate about his troubled relationship with his sick father. That's kind of sad considering just last week, "Cars" got me to completely believe that it's animated vehicles were living, breathing souls with a story to tell. Even the setup to the magical mailbox premise seems more far-fetched than the actual mailbox itself. Kate is so upset she could possibly lose mail she sends several letters begging Alex to forward any he receives. However, when the paranormal element works, it works surprisingly well and the romance manages to be pretty charming.\nThe movie is beautifully filmed with great shots of the lake house, the Chicago skyline and Sandra Bullock's clothing. It's like watching an Eddie Bauer catalog come to life. While easy on the eyes, "The Lake House" isn't as nice to the ears. There's lots of soothing background music, but the often stale dialogue feels like a nail being shoved in your ear.\nAnyone who decides to see this should be aware of its far-fetched plot, however you can't help but ask why don't Alex and Kate exchange phone numbers through the mailbox and then call each other? That way they could hear each other's voices and won't have to worry about getting hand cramps from writing all those damn letters.
(06/22/06 4:00am)
You're never going to believe what happened to me. This week I took a vacation and rented a lake house. Upon arriving I found a note in the mailbox from the owner, Sandra, asking me to keep the place clean and all the usual rental requests. However, I noticed that the letter was dated 2008. Impossible I thought. So I sent Sandra a letter back saying, "don't worry the house is in good hands, but by the way, it's only 2006."\n"Impossible, she replied. "For argument's sake, what is today's date?" she asked.\n"Its June 22, 2006," I said. \n"No, it's June 22, 2008," she corrected me. "It's the same day two years apart. Well clearly this is some type of miracle," Sandra exclaimed. "This must be fate telling us something, we're soul mates, we're meant for each other, now we just need to figure out a way to meet."\nYeah, love is pretty good I thought, but I'm talking to somebody from the future, screw love, I want to know what's happened in the world of entertainment in the last two years. So I asked.\n"Well what do you want to know about," Sandra said.\n"'Superman Returns,' how amazing is it?"\n"That movie comes out next week, you can't wait six days?"\n"No of course not," I screamed. "Don't tell anyone, but I secretly cry myself to sleep in anticipation every night. But I guess you're right, I'll just wait in agony. Fine, how did 'Snakes on a Plane' turn out? Sure, we're all pumped to watch Samuel L. fight some motherfuckin' snakes on a plane, but are audiences going to get bored of it after 20 minutes?"\n"How dare you doubt 'Snakes on a Plane,'" Sandra shouted at me. "No, it doesn't get old, how could anybody get sick of snakes on planes? Actually, it caused quite a controversy when just months after its release there were some copycat murders."\n"Shut up, you're telling me somebody actually released snakes on a plane?"\n"Yep, but everything ended up being fine because Dr. 90210 was on the flight and he totally kicked the snakes' asses."\n"So the movie was a hit then? Well it's nice to know that the American public will refuse to watch terrorists highjack a plane in 'United 93' but have no problem if it's snakes that take down the aircraft.\n"Oh, by the way, Here's a little something for you," Sandra told me as I pulled a scarf out of the mailbox. "There was a freak blizzard in the summer of 2006."\n"What?!? June snow?" I screamed. "Ahhh, Al Gore wasn't lying, his documentary 'An Inconvenient Truth' was true, the world's gone to shit, the ice caps really are melting!"\n"No, turns out that 'South Park' episode was right; Al Gore is just really lonely."\n"Well what about Jennifer Aniston? Has she finally admitted she's dating Vince Vaughn?"\n"Nope, not yet, technically it should be their three-year anniversary but she still thinks denying it will prevent tabloids from stalking them."\n"Martin Scorsese has another movie, 'The Departed,' coming out this year," I said. "Is 2007 finally the year Marty gets his Oscar? Or does he lose again to another actor turned director?"\n"Well Marty still didn't get his Oscar, It went to David R. Ellis for 'Snakes on a Plane.'"\n"Hey the Olsen twins turned 20 last week, but what happened when they hit the big 21."\n"Oh, that was not pretty," Sandra replied. "While hitting all the hot night clubs on their first night of legal drinking the twins decided to do 21 birthday shots, but because they only weigh a combined total of 21 pounds they passed out in a dumpster. In the morning when they woke up covered in garbage bags, newspaper, and torn rags they just thought they had gone on a shopping spree."\n"Well how's Britney Spears doing these days? Is she still with the Federline? Are her children still alive?" I asked.\n"Yes her children are fine and unfortunately she's still with the Fed. And there still hasn't been a comeback album. She's yet to figure out that the media she claims bashes her so much might support her return if she didn't look like roadkill and burned any evidence that 'Chaotic' ever existed."\n"'Lost' must be on its fifth season now, are they still stuck on the island?"\n"Yes, but word is that this is the last season and they've hired M. Night Shyamalan to write a big twist ending for the finale, so you know it's going to suck."\nAt this point I decided to go lay out on the beach. But Sandra freaked out.\n"What about true love? We need to figure out how to time travel and meet," she begged. Sorry Sandra, I need some sun.
(06/21/06 9:02pm)
You're never going to believe what happened to me. This week I took a vacation and rented a lake house. Upon arriving I found a note in the mailbox from the owner, Sandra, asking me to keep the place clean and all the usual rental requests. However, I noticed that the letter was dated 2008. Impossible I thought. So I sent Sandra a letter back saying, "don't worry the house is in good hands, but by the way, it's only 2006."\n"Impossible, she replied. "For argument's sake, what is today's date?" she asked.\n"Its June 22, 2006," I said. \n"No, it's June 22, 2008," she corrected me. "It's the same day two years apart. Well clearly this is some type of miracle," Sandra exclaimed. "This must be fate telling us something, we're soul mates, we're meant for each other, now we just need to figure out a way to meet."\nYeah, love is pretty good I thought, but I'm talking to somebody from the future, screw love, I want to know what's happened in the world of entertainment in the last two years. So I asked.\n"Well what do you want to know about," Sandra said.\n"'Superman Returns,' how amazing is it?"\n"That movie comes out next week, you can't wait six days?"\n"No of course not," I screamed. "Don't tell anyone, but I secretly cry myself to sleep in anticipation every night. But I guess you're right, I'll just wait in agony. Fine, how did 'Snakes on a Plane' turn out? Sure, we're all pumped to watch Samuel L. fight some motherfuckin' snakes on a plane, but are audiences going to get bored of it after 20 minutes?"\n"How dare you doubt 'Snakes on a Plane,'" Sandra shouted at me. "No, it doesn't get old, how could anybody get sick of snakes on planes? Actually, it caused quite a controversy when just months after its release there were some copycat murders."\n"Shut up, you're telling me somebody actually released snakes on a plane?"\n"Yep, but everything ended up being fine because Dr. 90210 was on the flight and he totally kicked the snakes' asses."\n"So the movie was a hit then? Well it's nice to know that the American public will refuse to watch terrorists highjack a plane in 'United 93' but have no problem if it's snakes that take down the aircraft.\n"Oh, by the way, Here's a little something for you," Sandra told me as I pulled a scarf out of the mailbox. "There was a freak blizzard in the summer of 2006."\n"What?!? June snow?" I screamed. "Ahhh, Al Gore wasn't lying, his documentary 'An Inconvenient Truth' was true, the world's gone to shit, the ice caps really are melting!"\n"No, turns out that 'South Park' episode was right; Al Gore is just really lonely."\n"Well what about Jennifer Aniston? Has she finally admitted she's dating Vince Vaughn?"\n"Nope, not yet, technically it should be their three-year anniversary but she still thinks denying it will prevent tabloids from stalking them."\n"Martin Scorsese has another movie, 'The Departed,' coming out this year," I said. "Is 2007 finally the year Marty gets his Oscar? Or does he lose again to another actor turned director?"\n"Well Marty still didn't get his Oscar, It went to David R. Ellis for 'Snakes on a Plane.'"\n"Hey the Olsen twins turned 20 last week, but what happened when they hit the big 21."\n"Oh, that was not pretty," Sandra replied. "While hitting all the hot night clubs on their first night of legal drinking the twins decided to do 21 birthday shots, but because they only weigh a combined total of 21 pounds they passed out in a dumpster. In the morning when they woke up covered in garbage bags, newspaper, and torn rags they just thought they had gone on a shopping spree."\n"Well how's Britney Spears doing these days? Is she still with the Federline? Are her children still alive?" I asked.\n"Yes her children are fine and unfortunately she's still with the Fed. And there still hasn't been a comeback album. She's yet to figure out that the media she claims bashes her so much might support her return if she didn't look like roadkill and burned any evidence that 'Chaotic' ever existed."\n"'Lost' must be on its fifth season now, are they still stuck on the island?"\n"Yes, but word is that this is the last season and they've hired M. Night Shyamalan to write a big twist ending for the finale, so you know it's going to suck."\nAt this point I decided to go lay out on the beach. But Sandra freaked out.\n"What about true love? We need to figure out how to time travel and meet," she begged. Sorry Sandra, I need some sun.
(06/21/06 8:15pm)
In "The Lake House" Sandra Bullock plays Kate, a lonely single forced to sell her secluded dream house when she takes a new job in Chicago. She leaves a note for the new tenant Alex (Keanu Reeves, still struggling with his lines after all these years) asking him to forward her mail. When the two notice their letters are dated two years apart, they realize something's not right. However, seeing the potential for romance, they accept the unfeasible situation in hopes of love.\n "The Lake House" is like two separate films in one. There's the movie about two slightly depressed middle-aged singles dealing with career and family issues. And then there's the supernatural one, where the same two people, living two years apart, write each other love letters and fall for each other. Yet somehow the asinine romance involving a magical mailbox seems so much more real than its practical counterpart. It feels so forced and fake when Alex tells Kate about his troubled relationship with his sick father. That's kind of sad considering just last week, "Cars" got me to completely believe that it's animated vehicles were living, breathing souls with a story to tell. Even the setup to the magical mailbox premise seems more far-fetched than the actual mailbox itself. Kate is so upset she could possibly lose mail she sends several letters begging Alex to forward any he receives. However, when the paranormal element works, it works surprisingly well and the romance manages to be pretty charming.\nThe movie is beautifully filmed with great shots of the lake house, the Chicago skyline and Sandra Bullock's clothing. It's like watching an Eddie Bauer catalog come to life. While easy on the eyes, "The Lake House" isn't as nice to the ears. There's lots of soothing background music, but the often stale dialogue feels like a nail being shoved in your ear.\nAnyone who decides to see this should be aware of its far-fetched plot, however you can't help but ask why don't Alex and Kate exchange phone numbers through the mailbox and then call each other? That way they could hear each other's voices and won't have to worry about getting hand cramps from writing all those damn letters.
(06/15/06 4:00am)
Most will know comedienne Sarah Silverman from her many Friars Club Roasts and other Comedy Central appearances. But now with her own concert film, "Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic," audiences can take in her brilliance for longer than five minutes and without having to worry about a coked-out Courtney Love running on stage. \nBe forewarned the show isn't for the easily offended, though that pretty much goes with all comedy these days. Silverman tackles all the basic taboo subjects: racism, sex (her idea of birth control is having her boyfriend "cum all over my face"), religion ("yeah the Jews killed Jesus, and you know what, I'd do it again"), AIDS ("when God gives you AIDS… make lemonaids") and corporate America (she says American Airlines post 9/11 motto should be "American Airlines: first through the towers"). Silverman has this great, rare comedic talent to be able to so nonchalantly verbalize her offensive material and still sound like an adorable, innocent, seven-year-old. It should be noted that Silverman's performance isn't just straightforward jokes and monologues. Silverman is constantly putting on an act and presenting a bubbly persona. So those looking to get to know "the real" Sarah Silverman will be disappointed (though she is much more relaxed and factual on the commentary she shares with director Liam Lynch).\nIn an attempt to prolong the film, which barely reaches an hour, a few pre-filmed music video segments interrupt the concert. While the video portions are funny, they feel a little out of place due to their infrequency and scarcity. The stage's glittery background curtain is also annoying. I'm guessing the sequenced scenery is supposed to go along with Silverman's "yay, everything's shiny" personality but it's just plain distracting. \nSpecial features include a decent behind the scenes segment, trailers and commentary (director Lynch has nothing but irritating praise for everything). Also included are Silverman's holiday music video "Give the Jew Girl Toys" and her uproarious performance in the documentary "The Aristocrats," though the scene is better when intact with the rest of that film.\nUnion Board, you guys should really try to get Silverman to come to IU. Understandably she's a big name, who's probably hard to get a hold of, but I kind of have a big crush on her now, and I may become violent if I never see her live. So for my safety and the pleasure of all students, get to work. In the meantime, watch this magical DVD.
(06/14/06 9:14pm)
Most will know comedienne Sarah Silverman from her many Friars Club Roasts and other Comedy Central appearances. But now with her own concert film, "Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic," audiences can take in her brilliance for longer than five minutes and without having to worry about a coked-out Courtney Love running on stage. \nBe forewarned the show isn't for the easily offended, though that pretty much goes with all comedy these days. Silverman tackles all the basic taboo subjects: racism, sex (her idea of birth control is having her boyfriend "cum all over my face"), religion ("yeah the Jews killed Jesus, and you know what, I'd do it again"), AIDS ("when God gives you AIDS… make lemonaids") and corporate America (she says American Airlines post 9/11 motto should be "American Airlines: first through the towers"). Silverman has this great, rare comedic talent to be able to so nonchalantly verbalize her offensive material and still sound like an adorable, innocent, seven-year-old. It should be noted that Silverman's performance isn't just straightforward jokes and monologues. Silverman is constantly putting on an act and presenting a bubbly persona. So those looking to get to know "the real" Sarah Silverman will be disappointed (though she is much more relaxed and factual on the commentary she shares with director Liam Lynch).\nIn an attempt to prolong the film, which barely reaches an hour, a few pre-filmed music video segments interrupt the concert. While the video portions are funny, they feel a little out of place due to their infrequency and scarcity. The stage's glittery background curtain is also annoying. I'm guessing the sequenced scenery is supposed to go along with Silverman's "yay, everything's shiny" personality but it's just plain distracting. \nSpecial features include a decent behind the scenes segment, trailers and commentary (director Lynch has nothing but irritating praise for everything). Also included are Silverman's holiday music video "Give the Jew Girl Toys" and her uproarious performance in the documentary "The Aristocrats," though the scene is better when intact with the rest of that film.\nUnion Board, you guys should really try to get Silverman to come to IU. Understandably she's a big name, who's probably hard to get a hold of, but I kind of have a big crush on her now, and I may become violent if I never see her live. So for my safety and the pleasure of all students, get to work. In the meantime, watch this magical DVD.
(06/08/06 4:00am)
Cheddar, provolone, bree: cheeses that could describe the cheesiness that is "High School Musical." But when using the adjective cheesy people often forget, cheese tastes good. \nThe story begins at a vacation resort New Year's Eve party where teeny boppers Troy (Zac Efron) and Gabriella (Vanessa Anne Hudgens) are forced into singing a karaoke duet. As they take the stage they discover they have amazing computer enhanced singing voices they were never aware of. The couple shares a magical night but as vacation ends they must part ways until, as luck would have it, Gabriella's mom gets transferred and she ends up at Troy's high school. The two decide to audition together for the school's musical, but problem is, on Troy's home turf he's worshiped for being the varsity basketball stud. His teammates freak out about his new interest in theater (though they have no problem expressing their anger in song in dance) and the two must also compete against reigning drama club thespians, brother-sister team Ryan and Sharpay (who often get a little too close for sibling comfort).\nThis made-for-TV Disney Channel movie became a phenomenon earlier this year when it pulled in over 36 million viewers and the soundtrack topped the Billboard album charts, selling over 2 million copies (making it the top album of 2006 to date, unheard of for a made for TV movie soundtrack).And while it may just be "Grease" for young kids, It's nice to know its success may spark interest in movie musicals for a new generation after "Rent" and "The Producers" failed to score big.\nObviously the film is made for young audiences (it's so innocent it doesn't even let its leads kiss) and its corniness makes "Grease 2" look like "Casablanca," but that doesn't mean educated college students can't enjoy it. The awesome songs are annoyingly catchy (had the film been released in theaters "Breaking Free" would easily take home the Oscar for best song) and Kenny Ortega's choreography is damn impressive (especially coming from a cast so young.) It's also refreshing to see high school students actually played by teenagers.\nSpecial features include a making of feature and instructional dance video (that's nearly impossible to follow), plus music videos and even a karaoke sing along version of the film.\nSo if next year you see some kid in Gresham trying to get the freshmen to dance around a lunch table in unison while singing a song called "Stick to the Status Quo" just ignore me, if no one joins in, I'll quit eventually. This is one guilty pleasure worth checking out.
(06/08/06 4:00am)
Now that school's over I've been able to fully invest my time in the entertainment world. And while all Hollywood's happenings might not be worth mentioning (what if I don't want to be on Team Denise or Team Heather?) there have been some pretty big events recently. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the month of May.\nThe summer movie season officially began, but not as studios had hoped. "Mission: Impossible 3" bombed! Ok, a $48 million opening weekend is by no means bad, but a franchise film starring Tom Cruise debuting in over 4,000 theaters could have easily pulled in another $20 mil. For months there's been speculation over whether Tom's recent behavior, mainly alienating his female fans (haha, get it, alien), would affect his box office performance. Sure everyone's sick of his antics, but to the point of boycotting? Despite all his craziness the public is forgetting Tom actually is a great actor (remember "Magnolia" and "Jerry Maguire?"), and unlike most tabloid targets (cough, Jessica Alba, cough) he has the talent to back up his actions. Come on people, threaten a backlash but don't actually follow through with it. Plus there's other people besides Tom who get hurt by this, like director J.J. Abrahams (the man created "Lost," he should never experience pain for the blessing he's given us), Keri Russell (this could cause her to go back into hibernation), and all the other behind the scenes people. And if Tom's movies are failing, does this mean Katie's next movie will only make $4 million instead of 7? At least the industry can relax after that furry mutant bailed the box office out (No not Kelsey Grammer in X-Men, I'm talking about Tom Hanks "DaVinci Code" mullet.)\nMay was also season finale time. For the most part all of my shows ended nicely, and though the Jim and Pam make-out session in "The Office" was perfect, many other show's hook-ups were just plain icky. Like Lorelai going back to Christopher on "Gilmore Girls", J.D's girlfriend getting knocked up on "Scrubs," Gabriella catching Carlos and the maid screwing around on "Desperate Housewives," and Meredith and McDreamy doing the dirty at a fake prom. Ugh, with them getting back together, "Grey's Anatomy" is going to suffer "OC" Ryan and Marissa syndrome and get stuck in a romance that drags down the show for two seasons. Speaking of "The OC," I refuse to even mention the death of Marissa Cooper, I'm done with the show forever. Ok fine, just a little rant. Whyyyyyy Whyyyyy Whyyyyy (you think Nancy Kerrigan can scream those words, she's got shit on me)! Sure Coop and I had our differences but killing her won't solve the show's problems. Seriously, how did it get this bad? Oh well, California here we won't come anymore.\nTaylor Hicks won "American Idol" but when his name was announced there was only one thing I could think about as Katherine McPhee smiled in the background, do you think Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini are still friends? The obvious answer is no. Kelly is huge now and well, Justin is not. And after "From Justin to Kelly" they'd probably want to distance themselves forever (hey maybe "Since You've Been Gone" is about him), but that's like surviving the Titanic or some other disaster, you're bound together for life. While Justin's probably living off his uncle Samuel L. Jackson, (speaking of Samuel only 71 days until motherfuckin' "Snakes on a Plane!") Kelly is deservedly getting all the attention and their friendship is never even mentioned, leading me to believe it never actually existed. Kelly, give me a call and let me know.\nOn May 30th I woke up at seven (which does not happen often) to say farewell to Katie Couric. Truthfully I only watch "The Today Show" about five times a year, but it makes me sad that I won't have the option of watching it anymore. Sure if I want a Couric fix I could switch to CBS, but that involves watching the news, and me and important issues just don't mix (can't you tell, I just rambled about Justin and Kelly's relationship). The show was so pack filled with clips that I kept waiting for the "Montage" song from "Team America" to break out. Instead Tony Bennett sang "The Way You Look Tonight," the song that Katie and her late husband danced to at their wedding (insert teardrop here). But maybe Katie isn't the nurturing Queen of Nice we all view her as. Giving Meredith Vierra her job means the ladies on "The View" now have to suffer the wrath of Rosie O'Donnell. My money says Star Jones eats her first.\nThankfully Brad and Angelina had their baby Shiloh (perhaps they were hoping for a beagle puppy instead) in Narnia, er, Namibia thus making her ineligible to run for president, so all worries about the Pitts' world domination can be put to rest. But enough about them, lets congratulate Mira Sorvino for being sane and naming her son Johnny.
(06/07/06 9:56pm)
Now that school's over I've been able to fully invest my time in the entertainment world. And while all Hollywood's happenings might not be worth mentioning (what if I don't want to be on Team Denise or Team Heather?) there have been some pretty big events recently. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the month of May.\nThe summer movie season officially began, but not as studios had hoped. "Mission: Impossible 3" bombed! Ok, a $48 million opening weekend is by no means bad, but a franchise film starring Tom Cruise debuting in over 4,000 theaters could have easily pulled in another $20 mil. For months there's been speculation over whether Tom's recent behavior, mainly alienating his female fans (haha, get it, alien), would affect his box office performance. Sure everyone's sick of his antics, but to the point of boycotting? Despite all his craziness the public is forgetting Tom actually is a great actor (remember "Magnolia" and "Jerry Maguire?"), and unlike most tabloid targets (cough, Jessica Alba, cough) he has the talent to back up his actions. Come on people, threaten a backlash but don't actually follow through with it. Plus there's other people besides Tom who get hurt by this, like director J.J. Abrahams (the man created "Lost," he should never experience pain for the blessing he's given us), Keri Russell (this could cause her to go back into hibernation), and all the other behind the scenes people. And if Tom's movies are failing, does this mean Katie's next movie will only make $4 million instead of 7? At least the industry can relax after that furry mutant bailed the box office out (No not Kelsey Grammer in X-Men, I'm talking about Tom Hanks "DaVinci Code" mullet.)\nMay was also season finale time. For the most part all of my shows ended nicely, and though the Jim and Pam make-out session in "The Office" was perfect, many other show's hook-ups were just plain icky. Like Lorelai going back to Christopher on "Gilmore Girls", J.D's girlfriend getting knocked up on "Scrubs," Gabriella catching Carlos and the maid screwing around on "Desperate Housewives," and Meredith and McDreamy doing the dirty at a fake prom. Ugh, with them getting back together, "Grey's Anatomy" is going to suffer "OC" Ryan and Marissa syndrome and get stuck in a romance that drags down the show for two seasons. Speaking of "The OC," I refuse to even mention the death of Marissa Cooper, I'm done with the show forever. Ok fine, just a little rant. Whyyyyyy Whyyyyy Whyyyyy (you think Nancy Kerrigan can scream those words, she's got shit on me)! Sure Coop and I had our differences but killing her won't solve the show's problems. Seriously, how did it get this bad? Oh well, California here we won't come anymore.\nTaylor Hicks won "American Idol" but when his name was announced there was only one thing I could think about as Katherine McPhee smiled in the background, do you think Kelly Clarkson and Justin Guarini are still friends? The obvious answer is no. Kelly is huge now and well, Justin is not. And after "From Justin to Kelly" they'd probably want to distance themselves forever (hey maybe "Since You've Been Gone" is about him), but that's like surviving the Titanic or some other disaster, you're bound together for life. While Justin's probably living off his uncle Samuel L. Jackson, (speaking of Samuel only 71 days until motherfuckin' "Snakes on a Plane!") Kelly is deservedly getting all the attention and their friendship is never even mentioned, leading me to believe it never actually existed. Kelly, give me a call and let me know.\nOn May 30th I woke up at seven (which does not happen often) to say farewell to Katie Couric. Truthfully I only watch "The Today Show" about five times a year, but it makes me sad that I won't have the option of watching it anymore. Sure if I want a Couric fix I could switch to CBS, but that involves watching the news, and me and important issues just don't mix (can't you tell, I just rambled about Justin and Kelly's relationship). The show was so pack filled with clips that I kept waiting for the "Montage" song from "Team America" to break out. Instead Tony Bennett sang "The Way You Look Tonight," the song that Katie and her late husband danced to at their wedding (insert teardrop here). But maybe Katie isn't the nurturing Queen of Nice we all view her as. Giving Meredith Vierra her job means the ladies on "The View" now have to suffer the wrath of Rosie O'Donnell. My money says Star Jones eats her first.\nThankfully Brad and Angelina had their baby Shiloh (perhaps they were hoping for a beagle puppy instead) in Narnia, er, Namibia thus making her ineligible to run for president, so all worries about the Pitts' world domination can be put to rest. But enough about them, lets congratulate Mira Sorvino for being sane and naming her son Johnny.