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(02/14/06 5:27am)
These referees, officials, judges, whatever you want to call them -- I can't stand them. They are trained to get the call right, and when they don't, they maintain their omnipotent omnipresence as if they were hostesses at the pearly gates of heaven. \nAnd what's worse? They never miss a game.\nAt least, that is the case with NBA official Dick Bavetta. On Feb. 8, Bavetta, at 66 years of age, worked his 2,135th game for the NBA in zebra pinstripes. But what is more impressive than that is the number of games he has missed since starting out as an official in 1975. \nZero. Zippity. Zilch. Zanoodle. \nOK, so I made that last word up. But while my creativity with words may only affect the few fans actually reading my column, an official's creativity with a call could affect the outcome of destiny. It may affect some of sport's most spectacular stages. Like say ... the Super Bowl? \nBut nothing has stopped Bavetta -- not even ... (cough, cough) ... the flu. \nOf course, that streak has included an ordeal of obstacles. Bavetta has driven through snowstorms, once when the plane he was scheduled to board was encased in ice. He was dealt a broken nose courtesy of Jalen Rose's elbow, his face flatter than flashes of Hoosier basketball in February. But Bavetta would return the following night. \nA game between the Celtics and 76ers in the early '80s is viewed as his most famous appearance on the court. After his fellow officiating partner, Jack Madden, broke his leg in a collision with another player, Bavetta was forced to call the game by himself. \n"I'm trying to keep this game under control," Bavetta said in a statement. "At one point I look over and Larry Bird and Julius Erving are strangling each other. So I ejected both. The league saw my leadership qualities, and that was a stepping stone for me." \nBut even Bavetta, an official with 31 years of experience who has worked more than 200 playoff games, including 23 NBA Final games, is subject to scrutiny. \nA controversial Game 7 in the 2000 playoffs between New York and Miami resulted in a final fumbled call by Bavetta's officiating staff, leading to a New York victory. In the locker room after the game, Tim Hardaway of the Heat called Dick, "Knick" Bavetta. \nIn the aftermath of Super Bowl XL, no aspect of sport has been criticized more than the referees. An official's ruling, once absolute in the Golden Age of Sport, is now questioned more than Mike Davis' job security. Technology has grown over time and with it has emerged a new age of fast athletes and faulty officials. But Dick Bavetta, NBA's ironman of referees, is present at every game through weather woes and a broken nose, with his integrity intact.\nBravo, Mr. Bavetta for officiating in your 2,135th consecutive game. Bravo, Mr. Bavetta for being, in all aspects of the game, exactly what referees these days fail to find in themselves -- consistency. \nAnd just in the Knick of time.
(02/07/06 6:14am)
Super Bowl Sunday is my favorite American holiday. Would I prefer the Fourth of July? Please, constitutions are overrated. Thanksgiving? I fall asleep before I can make it through my first plate of turkey. Easter? Why would I want to find eggs and then eat them, I don't get it. Hanukkah? The festival of lights brings me no excitement since Edison discovered the light bulb more than 125 years ago. \nI like my Super Bowls like I like my obese strippers -- oversized, overpriced and with more story lines than a soap opera (but ultimately, I am satisfied). This year's most annoying Super Bowl subplot goes to Jerome "The Bus" Bettis, who was returning "home" to Detroit in his final professional year in football. It was a story beaten worse than the wife in a Lifetime movie. \nI watched the Puppy Bowl on the Animal Planet channel earlier in the day. It is literally a handful of puppies that play on this miniature football field. That's all they do, run and jump around. It's friggin' adorable. And ya know what? It was a hell of a lot more interesting than the Super Bowl itself. \nAnd the officials of the Puppy Bowl were better, too. Officials, you ask? You betcha. Every now and then a flag would come onto the field and a guy in a referee suit blew his whistle and said, "Puppy Penalty, roughing the puppy passer," to which the television cameras show an instant replay of the penalty. Oh, and the guy cleaned up puppy poop, too.\nGod Bless America -- this is my favorite holiday. \nBut alas, Super Bowl XL was in fact Super Bowl XB: Xtra-Boring ... and by halftime, with the score 7-3, I was waiting for Mick Jagger to show me some nipple. But once again, I was disappointed.\nAs for the game itself, Seattle's wide receivers dropped more balls than an all-male fifth-grade physical education class and, still, Seahawks quarterback Matt Hasselbeck had arguably the best performance Sunday, throwing for 273 yards and one touchdown.\nSure, tight end Jerramy Stevens dropped four balls, the Seahawks were one-for-three in the red zone and kicker Josh Brown missed two field goals (both 50 yards or beyond), but the stench that stinks the breaths of football fans everywhere is that the referees screwed Seattle. One touchdown was called back on a soft shove, while one touchdown should have been reviewed to see whether Seahawk receiver Darrell Jackson hit the pile-on or not. Bill Leavy and his crew also called two unnecessary penalties on two important plays. One was a Sean Locklear hold late in the fourth quarter, which brought back a Seattle drive at the Pittsburgh 1-yard line when the score was 14-10. The other was a low tackle by Hasselbeck, THE QUARTERBACK, when he was trying to tackle Pittsburgh's Ike Taylor -- the man who intercepted his pass.\nSo Sunday was a Steelers' victory, sponsored in part by the NFL and the league's officials. It was Super Bowl XB ... Xtra-boring, Xtra-baloney, Xtra-bullsh ... uhh ... loney!\nIn the end, though, you've got to give Pittsburgh its props. They were the sixth seed in the toughest conference in a league where no sixth seed has ever made a Super Bowl. They beat the No. 3 Bengals, the No. 1 Colts, the No. 2 Broncos and, finally, the NFC Champions -- the Seahawks. It was certainly one of the greatest postseason runs in NFL history. \nAnd so, on America's favorite holiday, the night was not carried by those wearing red, white and blue or even the players wearing black and yellow, but rather by the few on the field who were wearing black and white. \nFor the record, I am not a fan of Seattle -- it rains enough in my life as it is. But as a football fan, it pains me to see the Super Bowl, even a portion of it, be put in the hands and affected by the third team on the field -- the referees. \nBut really, Hines Ward was the MVP? Heck no.\nCha Cha was the MVP on Sunday -- the Most Valuable Puppy.
(02/03/06 5:15am)
With the temperature reaching a 60-degree high on the first day of February, it was difficult to ponder the sensual pleasure of starting anew. Though the blossoms haven't bloomed and the reaches of tree limbs remain bare, the anticipation of spring looms behind each bitter breeze. \nHope springs eternal. \nThis is true with any recruiting class, but behind coach Terry Hoeppner it feels like the beginning of something new. Something real. \nOf course, games are not won on paper. And from the way IU played last year, games aren't won on the road either. \nIt is in this spirit of the sport that I will show seven ways each recruit can eliminate one loss in the future. Because how many losses did the Hoosiers have last season? That's right sports fans: seven.\nNo. 1 -- One Bloomington South quarterback named Ben Chappell: With his success at Miami of Ohio and more recently, with Super Bowl XL star Ben Roethlisberger, it is hard to deny that the coach has a way with quarterbacks, especially ones named Ben. Hep certainly used Blake Powers effectively, as the freshman threw for more touchdowns in one season than any other Hoosier quarterback. Maybe this hometown hero has some magic in him, too.\nNo. 2 -- The two Burks brothers: From both sides of the football come Adrian and Aaron Burks , out of Phoenix, who will pay immediate dividends to the Hoosiers squad. It was a surprise that they signed with IU, but in Hep's words, "In the 11th hour, it was the icing on the cake." Aaron is a running back and wide receiver, while Adrian plays safety and will be able to return punts -- replacing a legend in his way in ...\nNo. 3 -- No. 3 Lance Bennett: OK, I can't think of something for "3," so I'll make it a tribute to the only male athlete who wears No. 3 and can actually walk at this point. A message from No. 3 Lance Bennett to D.J. White: "Get in the game!" \nNo. 4 -- Four new linebackers: Matt Mayberry, William Patterson, Mandela Roberts and Vernon Smith. The newcomers will look to fill in the spots left by Kyle Killion, John Pannozzo and Josh Moore. Despite the average size of the four linebackers -- 6-feet, 216 pounds -- they all have speed, which has been Coach Hep's emphasis during the offseason. \nNo. 5 -- Five of the eight defensive signees: All have a 40-yard dash time faster than 4.6 seconds. Hoeppner's scheme is to keep his defense fast now and make them bigger later. The players with both attributes will start early, but the ones who need maturing will be ripe for the playing field in a year or two.\nNo. 6 -- Six recruits from Indiana: Coach Hep's main focus with recruiting is winning the best in-state players first, then searching outside of the Indiana state lines. This year, he nabbed six players from the Crossroads of America, including three players from Indianapolis and others from Elkhart, Cicero and, of course, Bloomington. The first confirmation from the recruit list of 20 came from Hamilton Heights' offensive lineman Cody Faulkner who stands at 6-foot-5, 306 pounds. \nNo. 7 -- The Seven Blocks of Limestone: When Vince Lombardi played football at Fordham University, he was part of a unit dubbed "The Seven Blocks of Granite." Well, Coach Hep presents his own corps of rock, and what Indiana rock would be more suitable for the task than limestone? Each block, an offensive lineman, is as follows: Faulkner, James Brewer, Alex Perry, Rodger Saffold, Pete Saxon, Jarrod Smith, Mike Stark -- averaging 6-foot-6-inches, 300 pounds each. The quarterback will have more protection than the Secret Service and more time on his hands than Gilligan.\nAccording to the experts, this recruiting class redefines the word "mediocre." \n"I'm an expert, too," Coach Hep said at the press conference on Wednesday. "And this recruiting class is exactly what we needed"
(01/31/06 5:25am)
There stand two men. Both are trying to get into school to play Division I football. Both men are 21 years old. Both men have faced difficult pasts. One man is Marcus Vick, a former quarterback at Virginia Tech. The other is Timmy Bailey, a former tight end and linebacker at Riverside High School in Avon, Miss. \nBoth men are major attractions to recruiters. Vick is an attraction to recruiters because he has a brother in football. The brother, Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick, has been the most highly publicized player in the NFL since his entrance as the first overall pick in the 2001 Draft. It was the same year that Timmy Bailey was preparing for his senior season of football. Bailey is an attraction to recruiters because he was a brother in arms. Unbeknownst to his coach, the 6-foot-3, 237-pound senior volunteered for the Army National Guard. That season he led the team with nearly 900 yards receiving, but fell short of gaining national recognition from big-name college recruiters. \nBailey forfeited his Division I dreams and enrolled in Mississippi Delta Community College the next year. In 2003, he led the team in tackles and drew Division I attention from plenty of college recruiters.\nThat same year Marcus Vick enrolled at Michael's alma mater, Virginia Tech. \nTwo tumultuous years later, at the Jan. 2 Gator Bowl between Virginia Tech and Louisville, Vick stomped on the left calf of defensive end Elvis Dumervil after a play was finished. Vick claimed the move was accidental and told the press he apologized to the All-American. Dumervil said he never received such an apology. The incident, along with a rap sheet longer than the distance he can throw a football, led to Vick's removal from the Hokies. Three days later, Vick was arrested and charged with pulling a gun on three teenagers outside a McDonald's. \nBailey had a gun, too. But his symbolized of sacrifice, not show. \nThe college sophomore found out his unit -- Troop A 98th Cavalry -- was being activated for duty in Iraq. Bailey spent more than a year amid the chaos, driving trucks and dodging road explosives. \n"There weren't too many crazy people that would shoot you," Bailey told ESPN.com of his experiences in war-torn Iraq. "They liked to blow up people. That made me even more scared." \nWhen he returned home Dec. 28, 2005, Bailey found out he was being recruited by three Division-I schools in the Southeastern Conference: Mississippi, Mississippi State and Alabama. Finally, the kid who made a choice to serve his country had been given the choice to serve his interests. \nAs for the kid who spent every day of his life choosing only to serve his own interests, Marcus Vick remains at his brother's home in Duluth, Ga. According to ESPN.com, he stands on charges with three misdemeanor counts of brandishing a firearm and was released on a $10,000 bond.\n"At this point, I think the actions speak for themselves," Larry Hincker, a spokesman for Vick, said in a statement.\nNo, Marcus -- they don't \nTimmy's do.
(01/26/06 5:44am)
In case you've been living under a rock, or maybe in Collins dormitory, Kobe Bryant, star shooting guard for the Los Angeles Lakers, scored 81 points Sunday night. It was the most points scored in a game since Wilt Chamberlain shot for 100 points in March 1962 against the New York Knicks.\nWhile Wilt dominated the opposition with his size (and without a 3-point line), Kobe dominates the league with his athleticism. And I'll take Kobe's athleticism over Wilt's size any day of the week, and twice on Sunday. \nBut that shouldn't have been the story in Monday's papers. Nor should the story have been about the NFL playoffs. Instead, what should have been reported was that Seattle Seahawks offensive lineman Sean Locklear played in Sunday's victory over the Panthers. \nAccording to a Jan. 16 Sporting News article, a few hours after Seattle defeated Washington, Locklear went to Belltown Billiards with friends where he grew angry with his girlfriend for dancing with another man. Locklear proceeded to argue, took two of his 300-pound arms and wrapped them around his girlfriend's neck. The former North Carolina State tackle contests that he never laid a finger on her. Yet, three witnesses who initially summoned police said they saw Locklear use both hands and the police report cited visible bruise marks around the girlfriend's neck and chest, according to the article.\nWhat was Locklear's punishment, you ask? He got to play in the NFC Championship game against the Panthers and is currently on his way to Detroit to play in Super Bowl XL. \nThis treatment is hardly new for athletes, both active and retired. \nIn 1996, former Dallas Cowboys wide receiver and current ESPN analyst Michael Irvin plead no contest to felony cocaine possession in exchange for probation and a $10,000 fine. Late last November, Irvin was pulled over for speeding and in his car police found a marijuana pipe, according to a Nov. 29 www.espn.com article. Making the lamest excuse since "The dog ate my homework," Irvin told police that the pipe belonged to a friend of his and that he planned on throwing it away, but forgot. OK - forgetting that there is a marijuana pipe in your car is like ignoring a dead body in your trunk. \nWhat was Irvin's punishment, you ask? After taking that weekend off from his duties at ESPN, Irvin returned to the small screen for Monday Night Football and he, too, is on his way to Detroit to cover Super Bowl XL for ESPN. \nAnd so the stories come full circle back to Kobe. In July 2003, Kobe was charged with sexual assault in Eagle County, Colo. It was an arrest that would award the three-time NBA Champion a mug shot on the cover of Sports Illustrated. The court case ran for 14 months until Kobe's accuser dropped the charges. \nThe lesson here, my fellow Hoosiers, is that sport forgives all. After the Sports Illustrated cover, Kobe lost all but one of his endorsement deals: Nike. On Monday morning, his name was wetting the lips of every water cooler Waldo who claimed he was the greatest the game had ever seen. Locklear lied and is forgiven when lining up against the Panthers offense. Irvin will earn an early entrance into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.\nMeanwhile, I am sick of this. You can find me hibernating in Collins for the winter. Hey -- it beats a rock.
(01/19/06 6:06am)
It's been five days since I have seen my roommate. Seriously. He was last seen Sunday at the RCA Dome. Since the Colts-Steelers game, no one in my house has seen or heard a word from him. He is either dead or waiting in some tall bushes outside Colts' kicker Mike Vanderjagt's house. If you're reading this, Andrew, I finished the entire box of Nilla Wafers in your room. I figured I was doing you a favor. I thought you would be sick and tired of seeing the color yellow. I was going to swing a small yellow towel when you came home. But two hours later I got bored, and I ate that too. \nAs for Pittsburgh's linebacker Joey Porter, he is sick and tired of seeing the colored stripes of black and white. After the Steelers' remarkable win over the Colts, Porter sounded off on the referees. They overturned a Troy Polamalu interception late in the fourth quarter when the Steelers led 24-10, an interception that would have knocked the proverbial last nail into my roommate's coffin. \n"I felt they were cheating us ... everybody in the world knew that was an interception. When they did that, they really want Peyton Manning and these guys to win the Super Bowl. Somebody has to say something about that, man, because it ain't right," Porter said.\nWhile Porter's grammar might be off, his judgment certainly is not. The NFL released a statement Tuesday acknowledging that referee Pete Morelli had made a mistake. They agreed the call should have been an interception, and not an incomplete pass.\nTry to grasp the magnitude of the situation. If the offensive line had actually shown up to play and the Colts won the game, this call would have been sport historical. It would have Sportorical! Imagine Dwight Clark was out of bounds when he caught Joe Montana's pass over the Cowboys. Imagine Scott Norwood's kick went straight through the uprights. Imagine the "Immaculate Reception" was instead a meaningless incompletion. \nIt may be the Wafers going to my head, but if the Polamalu call remains an incomplete and the Colts win -- where do you think they would be in a few weeks? In Detroit, laughing their asses off, preparing for Super Bowl XL. Playing host to Denver in the AFC Championship would have been a joke and the odds are in Indy's advantage when they play on indoor turf against the NFC champion. \nTruth is, if the refs really wanted Peyton and the Ponies to win this game, they would have gathered at the middle of the field and said, "Upon further review, the call has been reversed -- the field goal by Vanderjagt is good -- and despite the 21-21 tied score, the Colts win." \nNow THAT would have been Sportorical!\nInstead, it will be the \nSteelers-Broncos and not the Patriots and Colts who will battle for a trip to Detroit. (It'll also be the first time in history that somebody actually wants to go to Detroit). Honestly, I'd rather watch paint dry, or an entire season of "Dancing with the Stars" than a Broncos-Seahawks Super Bowl. Give me two underdogs who have scrapped their way to the top.\nInstead, the Colts, 38-10 in the regular season but ineffective in the last three postseasons, will remain below the glass ceiling of Super Bowl contenders. The Colts will be remembered by what they didn't do, which was clear the hurdle of the New England Patriots. \nAnd in the most recent Sportorical moment, Mike Vanderjagt, perfect on field goals at home all throughout the regular season, missed the most important kick in Indianapolis' postseason. Still, despite a trip to Denver for the AFC Championship Game, Joey Porter echoed what the NFL later ruled: Polamalu completed the interception, and Vanderjagt, like Norwood, kicked it wide right. \nAnd somewhere, in a dark corner, underneath the bleachers of the RCA Dome, now masked and mourned as a memorial to the 14-2 regular season, my roommate gently weeps.
(01/10/06 5:59am)
I have come to announce the end of the college football season. It's about time, right? The Fiesta Bowl in overtime? Boring. Vince Young leading the Longhorns to the upset of the decade? Snoozer. I need some excitement, some action and dare I say -- some postseason Peyton Manning -- in my life.\nFor a selection as hot as two Carolina Panther cheerleaders in a bar bathroom, I present to you my NFL Playoff picks. \nWashington at Seattle: The Seahawks are 8-0 this season at Qwest Field and 24-10 since the stadium opened in 2002. This game will consist of frustrating and futile attempts to run Clinton Portis by the Redskins mixed with quick explosive strikes from quarterback Matt Hasselbeck displaying one of the truest forms of the West Coast offense. \nCarolina at Chicago: It was great to see Bears linebacker Brian Urlacher win the AP Defensive Player of the Year award. He is no longer officially the most overrated player in football. That honor in the last three weeks goes to Bears quarterback Rex Grossman. e regular season. It's been a nice ride, Chi-town ... and at least you'll have more time to savor that White Sox Championship. \nNew England at Denver: The matchup is always the same: Pats' head coach Bill Belichick versus the opposing quarterback. The result is always the same: a Belichick backhand bitch-slap, complete with all three Super Bowl rings on his fingers, across the quarterback's face. Broncos head coach Mike Shanahan will need to find a scheme that will duplicate his team's success posting a win over the Pats in the regular season. But Shanahan has not won a postseason game since John Elway retired, and it doesn't take a NASA nerd to see that Broncos quarterback Jake Plummer is no Elway.\nPittsburgh at Indianapolis: I am not wasting my time with this game. The Colts defense should easily put away injured Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger and company. If not, they are the most pathetic team I've seen in the postseason since that Manning guy put up 49 touchdowns in a single season only to lose to the Patriots ... again. Hmmm ... I may have just lost some readers. \nCarolina at Seattle: I have never seen a team take on the identity of its coach quite like the Carolina Panthers under coach John Fox. When the game is a grind, they are the first ones on the dance floor. And yet, I'm rolling the dice that a Seahawk squad with home field advantage and the NFC's best running back in Shaun Alexander will be enough to soar past the passionate Panthers.\nNew England at Indianapolis: OK, here is where half of the Bloomington campus stops reading. Different setting, same results. The Colts have been the NFL's elite team this season behind quarterback Peyton Manning and an actual real-live defense. But alas, I expect the Colts comedic conclusion to be much like last season: with Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and Coach Belichick Mann-handling Peyton in the RCA Dome. \nSeattle vs. New England: I know what I'm asking from the Seahawks is something that they have not shown ... well ... ever. I am asking for consistency. They will win this game if they can play smart, perfect football. It'll be nice to see the Patriots' run come to an end, considering they've been running over the Colts to no end (and cue students tossing newspaper to the ground).
(12/12/05 6:44am)
POINT -- Hoo-Hoo-Hoo-Who?\nWhat do Penn State, Ohio State and a handful of Jews with dreidels have in common? Come late December, they will all be playing games. As for the 12th straight holiday season, the Hoosiers will be watching the games on television. \nAnd you know what? Hoosier fans' anger is justified. With a 4-1 record at the beginning of the season, the Hoosiers were rolling down the river of bowl expectations. They steamed into Big Ten play only to be pimp-slapped Ike Turner-style for the remainder of their season schedule. \nWhat added insult to domestic disturbance injury was that the games were not even close. The ugliness included road losses to Iowa by 17 points, Michigan by 27 and Michigan State by 31. And there were also home losses to Minnesota by 21 and to Purdue and Ohio State by 27, giving tailgating students an added incentive to have another egg and drain another keg instead of entering Memorial Stadium. \nWhat makes matters worse is that nothing, not even Listerine, could take the bad taste out of my mouth after the Purdue game. The Hoosiers ended the season barely hovering above a last place Illinois squad but remained cellar dwellers in a number of Big Ten categories. They were last in the conference in rushing yards, last in offensive yards and last in first downs per game. The only IU player that came close to dominating a category was James Hardy, who placed fourth in the Big Ten with 893 receiving yards. The Hoosiers did finish first in one category above all other teams in the Big Ten -- penalty yards. They accumulated 74 penalties totaling 605 yards. \nSure, coach Hoeppner had a daunting task trying to turn a 3-8 team from pretender to contender, but his arrival fooled us all into believing he was the second coming of Bill Mallory -- sadly enough, IU's last winning coach.
(11/21/05 4:43pm)
Do you think the IU football team is tired of losing? Well, I'm tired of writing about them losing. It is optimism one day and reality the next.\nEvery Monday I write about how this week the hopes of Hoosier fans were hampered by a Big Ten opponent. The results are so despairing that I cannot even make a joke about it, which is what I do best. \nSee -- the joke is... well... the football team itself. What do you get when you lose six straight games in conference? The Indiana Hoosiers. Who has allowed more than 40 points six times in seven losses to their opponents? The Indiana Hoosiers. Knock, knock, false expectations -- who's there? The Indiana Hoosiers.\nIt wasn't one person who gave Saturday's game away to Purdue. It was literally a team effort. Freshman wideout James Hardy fumbled the ball at the IU 35-yard line. Sophomore quarterback Blake Powers threw a screen pass straight into the hands of Purdue defensive end Ray Edwards -- one of three interceptions on the day. Junior wideout Jahkeen Gilmore juggled a near-caught ball, which was intercepted by Purdue's Brent Grover. Senior running back Yamar Washington coughed up the ball to the ground and back into the Boilermakers' hands. And finally, the second quarter ended. \nOf course, Purdue did not do anything new. They did what they have always done to IU and sent the Hoosiers off, into the frozen waste of the winter off-season, on a losing note. Now the coach, the team and the program have been stripped bare by six destructive and consecutive losses.\nThe cream and crimson community was hypnotized by a fresh start, if only to believe, even in the briefest of moments, that there was someone who could restore respect. But now the gig is up and the spell is broken. A weary, war-torn and now wheel-less IU bandwagon is left wondering where all those wins went. \nTerry Hoeppner is a football coach. But since his glorious arrival to the Bloomington campus, he has been described as a savior, a salesman, a motivator and a promoter. Most importantly, he has been described as a winner. \nIn all fairness, it is difficult to ask one man to turn around a program, in one season, that has lavished in the limelight of losing. It is difficult to tell one man to right a ship wronged, heading straight toward an obstacle of icebergs. And yet, we cannot help but feel cheated somehow. If you want to blame anyone, blame the public relations campaign that poured promises into Bloomington at hurricane speeds.\nMeanwhile, it is official. The entire town of Bloomington has been Punk'd. In a season swept up in the publicity of a new coach with new hopes, students sported their support with T-shirts that read, "Coach Hep Got Me!" Ticket sales soared as the Hoosiers aligned themselves two wins away from bowl eligibility, which shortly became two wins too many for IU. \nI'm sick of losing. Isn't anyone else? I was promised a change. I was promised something different. I believed those promises as I watched the Hoosiers all season and traveled to their games. I went to Memorial Stadium. I went to Madison, Wis., Iowa City, Iowa, East Lansing, Mich. and Ann Arbor, Mich., ... and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.
(11/18/05 4:00pm)
Has there been a more important game to a more insignificant season of Hoosier football?\nNot for coach Terry Hoeppner. He has already had his share of perfect Thursdays followed by predictable Saturdays -- mostly resulting in a 1-6 conference record. \nFirst, coach Hep wanted YOU. And all you wanted to do was tailgate, shotgun a beer and lick the side of a girl's face. \nThen, coach Hep wanted the Big Ten. The conference gave him and the Hoosiers such a beatdown to the ground, he is still brushing dirt off his shoulders. \nNow, coach Hep wants the Bucket. Here lies his latest and greatest challenge. A five-game losing streak and one public relations nightmare involving a GOP fund raiser later, the Hoosiers face a Purdue team that is not good. \nHow do I know it's not good? Because it has the same record as IU. At 4-6, both teams will vie for the Old Oaken Bucket Saturday. In my opinion, having a bucket as a trophy makes about as much sense as Stevie Wonder behind the wheel of a moving car, but then again, that is why I'm not from Indiana. \nIndiana and Purdue created the Old Oaken Bucket in 1925. They both established a committee for the creation of a trophy awarded to the winner of the rivalry series. The irony is that once the committee members found and furnished the Bucket for its first appearance in 1925, the game ended in a 0-0 tie. \nAnd IU has had as much success winning the Bucket as I have trying to pick up women at Kilroy's by using the line, "Hey baby girl -- how do you like to 'Play' it?" \nIn the overall series, Purdue has a 66-35-6 advantage. Since the rivalry's inception, the Hoosiers have had a 35 percent success rate in Memorial Stadium. In the last 10 years, IU has won the Bucket twice. The Hoosiers have only won one decade series of football games against Purdue since the origin of the Bucket ... and here's a hint at what decade: Think World War II.\nIf over the century the Boilermakers have been a round table of finely skilled knights, then the Hoosiers are a handful of farmers with pitchforks. While they are always better than us, this year Purdue has been dealt several chinks to its shiny armor. \nStill, Purdue has won its last two games by an average margin of 21 points. On the other hand, IU has lost its last five games by an average of 25 points. \nFact is, Purdue is not good this season, and if IU loses to them Saturday, then we are no better than we were last year. OK, that is not true. We would be one win better than last year. But did you buy into a publicity charade that would make Terrell Owens blush so you could brag about beating Nicholls State in September? Me neither. \nIf we can't beat them now, will we ever be able to beat them?\nHey coach Hep! I want YOU ... to beat Purdue.
(11/14/05 5:28am)
The good news: IU held Michigan scoreless for the entire second half.\nThe bad news: Michigan scored 41 points in the first half. Michigan had twice as many total offensive yards as IU. Wide receiver Steve Breaston had 201 all-purpose yards, 136 of them coming in the first quarter. And the Hoosiers lost their fifth straight game this season, 41-21. \nSo I guess the question remains: Will D.J. White be healthy before IU plays Duke? \nI'm kidding ... no, wait, I'm not. \nIn the last five games, which have also been the last five losses, IU has given up a total of 208 points. In each game, the opposing offense averaged more than 41 points. In each game, the opposing offense averaged 478.6 yards. More so, those same five teams have out-scored the Hoosiers 50-30 in the second quarter and 62-14 in the third quarter.\nSo there you have it. A 3-0 nonconference start followed by a 1-6 conference record. A once existent sense of winning now has us wondering our own sense of worth. \nThe bar has been lowered considerably on the expectations of these Hoosiers. And if you're willing to get your face dirty by placing it flat on the ground, you'll be able to see eye-to-eye with that bar. \nOf course it is not fair to pin this one game as the definitive end of bowl hopes in Bloomington. The Hoosiers' current losing streak to Michigan has been extended to 14 straight games, which would have made a win in Ann Arbor as rare as a fifth-year college senior without a drinking problem. \nThe most crushing reality, it seems, is that nothing has changed. With one game remaining in the 2005 season, the Hoosiers lie in limbo as a lower-echelon laugher. They are slightly above Illinois, which couldn't win a Big Ten game if it started with a 50-point lead. They are marginally below Purdue because at least the Boilermakers salvaged a season by sliding past the Spartans and eliminating the Illini during the last two weeks.\nWhat can fans feel proud of? Where can the Hoosiers hang their hats? \nThe only certainty I can come up with is that IU is not ready. If anything can be taken away from a 1-6 conference record, it is that the Hoosiers are far from possessing the talent, the tenacity or the tactics to perform in the Big Ten. \nScrew optimism. The Hoosiers' performance during the last five games would make Norman Vincent Peale put on a Dashboard Confessional album. (Peale wrote "The Power of Positive Thinking" -- obviously long before this IU football season.) The only good to come out of my positive thinking this year has been positively nothing. Each week I've found myself writing a column about the possibilities of IU halting a Big Ten train, but the track marks can still be seen from both the Ohio State and Michigan State games. \nThe bad news: The only bowl IU will be participating in this year is the Old Oaken Bucket Bowl next week.\nAnd the good news? I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.
(11/11/05 4:59am)
That is funny is that I just scrapped an entire column of worthless optimism. I had paragraphs of propaganda comparing the Hoosiers to gladiators on their way to Ann Arbor Arena. It was colorful, full of descriptive adjectives, and it was a load of crap. \nWhat kind of chances do we have in Ann Arbor? \nAbout the same chances I have of hitting puberty ... again.\nAnd these Hoosiers haven't come close to hitting anything this year -- especially the opposing players. They beat Central Michigan, Nicholls State and Kentucky -- teams that would give the Somalian football team a fighting chance. Oh -- and Somalia doesn't even have football team. \nIU came up short against Iowa. They were put in a choke hold by Ohio State and Michigan State. Minnesota scored more points in one quarter than IU did all game and now the Hoosiers will face Michigan -- a team they haven't beat since 1987. \nIn fact, the last time IU posted a win in Michigan Stadium was in 1967 when the Hoosiers went 9-2 on their way to a Big Ten Championship and a Rose Bowl appearance. \nAnd since that ship sailed faster than Superman on speed (wouldn't that be one helluva combination?), I guess it is time to start bracing for defeat. \nIU has beaten the Wolverines twice in the last 38 years, earning only three wins since 1959. The other Big Ten team they beat that year? Illinois. \nAnd since the basement bottom Fightin' Illini is the only other team these Hoosiers have beaten this season -- maybe it is a sign. \nYeah -- a sign that things need to change. \nAnd yet, IU is a program struggling to stay afloat a Big Ten tidal wave with a few tree branches and a volleyball named Wilson. On top of that, it has lost its leaders along the way. Defensive lineman Russ Richardson and linebacker John Pannozzo are likely to be out for the rest of the season. \nBut besides their bang ups and bruises, the Hoosiers - with or without my support - are buoyant to fight against the current that pushes them further below the Big Ten totem poll. \nThey have a sense of pride and a sense of being. The IU football team has had too long a losing history that hope, even in the form of an Uncle Sam knockoff, can sustain both the fans and their team in believing they have a chance. \nThey are underdogs -- the most romantic of sports characters. \nBut wait a minute. How could I suddenly call a team that hasn't had a winning season since 1993 an underdog? What kind of helium am I sucking?\nSee, they haven't always been underdogs. Before now, the Hoosiers were cellar-dwellers who were allergic to winning. Before now they strung together seasons of unintentional comedy. Before now, the program and their fans were comatose. \nSo what makes them, now, underdogs? \nAn underdog is someone who supplies the intangibles that motivate. Rocky had Mick. Brian Picolo had Gale Sayers. Rudy had Touchdown Jesus. The two Carolina Panthers cheerleaders had each other. \nAn underdog has that glimmer of hope kept aflame by a person that inspires it, and Coach Hep heartens the Hoosiers.\nThis season the Bloomington fans have been sold on a face lift to an IU football program. Yet, all anyone can see are scars and scrapes. \nFor the past four games, IU has been embarrassed in its losses. The Hoosiers have embarrassed their fans and they have embarrassed themselves. \nSo when no one is expecting a fight, much less a win, against Michigan on Saturday, maybe the Hoosiers can scrape together some dignity. Maybe, just maybe, this is a chance to change.
(11/07/05 6:18pm)
After taking a 14-7 lead with less than two minutes left in the half, coach Hoeppner's Hoosiers halted a Minnesota response. In the entire first half, IU held the best rushing team in Division I football to less than 125 yards and the mighty Laurence Maroney to 50 yards rushing. \nThe hook. \nCoach Hep ushered his team off the sidelines, swiftly and sternly. He set a tone of tenacity as the team entered the locker room that echoed an eagerness for the second half. \nThe line.\nIt was the third quarter, of both the game and the Hoosiers' season, which served the fatal blow. In 23 plays, the Gophers accumulated 211 yards of offense. Minnesota running back Gary Russell netted 98 yards on 10 carries, adding to a Gopher-gulping 144 total yards of rushing. Quarterback Bryan Cupito completed 4-of-5 passes for 67 yards and a touchdown. After 17 points in 15 minutes, the days IU had left to play football were numbered. \nThe sinker. \nSaturday's game was also the lowest-attended game all season at The Rock. In the stadium, sat 30,656 fans who thought the cream and crimson would continue to pave their way toward bowl eligibility. The faithful few sat as each waning minute in the third quarter turned the stadium from dreams of a clinched bowl into the reality of a fishbowl. It was a confined atmosphere of choking on chances that only the few faithful could feel. It was a season of baiting the fans into believing that a bowl game was not only fathomable but also plausible. \nAnd they took the bait: Hook, line and sinker.\nThe truth is, it was not a game IU deserved to win. Quarterback Blake Powers and the receiving corps were on opposite sides of the IU playbook. When a wide receiver was open, Powers would miss the pass. When Powers was on target, the receiver would drop the ball. It was only a matter of time that one tipped ball fell in the hands of defensive tackle Anthony Montgomery. He intercepted the pass that led to a Russell touchdown, a Gopher lead and an eventual victory. \nThe truth is, while IU still has two games left to clinch bowl eligibility, the odds it will be playing come the holiday season have dwindled considerably. With a game against the Michigan in The Big House next weekend, Hep's Hoosiers might have the same chances as a person does of winning the lottery, getting struck by lightning and discovering the lost island of Atlantis ... all at the same time. Optimism has been washed out and expectations erased. The less than 31,000 at The Rock were caught in claustrophobia, cramped in The Fishbowl. Coach Hep wanted them, and they answered the call. But a 4-1 beginning had turned into a 0-4 drought and ate away early enthusiasm. They couldn't cheer anymore. All they could do was watch the collapse of their team and their dream. \nThe Hoosier nation everywhere refused to let go the possibility of football in December. We were caught in the hype. We ate the bait. And now we are left in a fishbowl hell ... hook, line and sinker.
(11/04/05 5:16am)
If the times are a-changing, then what was it like before the changing? What was it like when IU routinely lost early and often? What was it like to be on a team that had, for the last three seasons, won only eight of 35 games played? \nIU senior linebacker John Pannozzo knows. \nIn 2002, Pannozzo arrived as a true freshman and started at fullback. He blocked like a beast, caught like a captain and played like a professional. Despite a 3-9 record, including losses in the last six games of the season, Pannozzo emerged as a star. He led all first-year players in receiving yards. \nTwo losing and laughable seasons later, Pannozzo is a senior. Coach Terry Hoeppner landed on The Rock and decided to move him to the middle linebacker position. Pannozzo, the Heisman Trophy All-State running back at Poly Prep, didn't argue for one second. \nAnd now, after leading them all season, the man who commanded the Hoosiers in his actions and in tackles, will likely miss the rest of the season with a hand injury.\nThis season has been the closest Pannozzo has come to a bowl bid. But with three games remaining and two wins necessary for eligibility, the Brooklyn, N.Y., native will have to watch Saturday's game against Minnesota from the sidelines. \nPannozzo's 5-foot-11-inch, 235-pound absence leaves an enormous hole for the Hoosier defense to fill.\nThe timing, of course, could not be worse for IU. It is one of the Big Ten's weakest defenses against the run, facing a Golden Gophers squad that leads all Division I schools in rushing with 284.5 yards per game. Additionally, IU is ranked last in the conference with an average of 140 rushing yards per game. Minnesota running back Laurence Maroney is third in the nation, rushing for a total of 1,260 yards and an average of 5.4 yards per carry so far this season. \nBut the sickness Gopher coach Glen Mason feels from last year's loss to IU might still plague Minnesota as the Hoosiers need the upset once again. In 2004, IU surprised its own fans when it defeated the then-No. 24 Minnesota team, 30-21, in Memorial Stadium. \nThis year, the Gophers are unranked. This year, they are 2-3 in the Big Ten. This year, they come in losing two consecutive games. This year, it is possible for the Hoosiers to extend that streak and win their seventh consecutive game against Minnesota in Bloomington. \nNow, two wins away from bowl eligibility and with two home games remaining, IU needs to play for more than just itself. \nSome players play for fame. Some do it for pride. Some do it for the fans, and some do it for their family. Some do it for the students, and some do it for their sanity. \nAt a time when IU needs veteran presence, the man who personifies dedication, hard work and leadership won't be on the field or in the huddle Saturday. Pannozzo has given his heart on every play, and unless IU obtains a bowl bid, the true freshman fullback turned linebacker will have seen his last snap. \nThe Hoosiers need to win Saturday for a lot of reasons.\nNone more important than John.
(10/31/05 5:18am)
In its first five games of the 2005 season, IU hit the ground running with a 4-1 record. In their last three, the Hoosiers have run straight into a wall. \nI never liked mathematics. If an equation equals above 10, I need to use a calculator. I never achieved a grade above a C in high school math, and so I found my calling -- journalism.\nOf course, when you have driven six hours and stayed a night at the creepy Days Inn to attend a football game that is over from the opening kickoff, your mind starts to wander. \nSo with that thought, Sesame Street's Count von Count and I introduce to you, the reader, the number three.\nIU has three games left on its schedule. Michigan State coach John L. Smith is 3-0 against the Hoosiers. MSU only punted three times but was three for three in red zone chances against the Hoosiers. Sophomore quarterback Blake Powers threw three interceptions while MSU quarterback Drew Stanton had a combined three touchdowns. And yet, there was not one field goal recorded all game. Numbers, like the multitude of guys I saw wearing Quailman costumes Saturday night, can be weird. Let me show you how threes factored into Saturday's loss.\n42 -- Josiah Sears: The IU running back had 33 yards on two carries. No. 42 had a career-long 24-yard run in the fourth quarter. \n39 -- Jovan Ringer: Jovan was exactly that against IU -- a ringer. No. 39 averaged 9.9 yards on 11 carries with one touchdown and picked apart the IU defenders. \n36 -- Eric Smith: No. 36 was responsible for Powers' second interception on the first drive of the second half. Smith made an excellent grab with his back on the ground to give the Spartans the ball back. \n33 -- Yamar Washington: On the other hand, on 11 carries, No. 33 could only muster 43 yards, his longest attempt for only 10 yards. 30 -- Jehuu Caulcrick: No. 30 rushed for 59 yards and scored a touchdown after halftime that put the game officially out of reach for the Hoosiers. \n27 -- Sir Darean Adams: No. 27 caught Powers' first interception in the first quarter. It was a poorly thrown pass that started the Hoosiers on their downward slide.\n24 -- Number of first downs by IU: Unfortunately, the Hoosiers had 10 of those in the fourth quarter, when the score was 39-8. \n21 -- Otis Wiley: No. 21 caught Powers' third interception, a play-fake pass to tight end Matt O'Neal in the Spartans' end zone. The play epitomized how things went for the Hoosiers \nSaturday.\n18 -- Terry Love: No. 18 caught No. 3 of Stanton's touchdown passes. The 39-yard pass completed a two-play, 14-second drive by MSU to make the score 46-8. \n15 -- Number of points scored by IU: In the last two games, the offense has scored a combined 25 points, while opponents have scored a total of 87. \n12 -- Ashton Watson: No. 12 returned the blocked Joe Kleinsmith extra point to make IU's six-point touchdown into a four-pointer. It was the first time the Spartans have returned a blocked extra point since 1992. \n9 -- Demond Williams: No. 9 delivered the initial and most disheartening blow to the Hoosiers. He returned the opening kickoff 98 yards. Williams and the Spartans never looked back. \n6 -- Punts by Tyson Beattie: Beattie tied his career-high with six punts in the game. He averaged 41 yards per kick, while pinning two punts inside the 20-yard line. \nOne number that has nothing to do with three is .500. After Saturday's 46-15 loss to the Spartans, at 4-4, the Hoosiers have officially reached .500 on the season. While this would normally be cause for celebration in Bloomington, losing four of the last five, including three straight, gives cause for concern. \nI cannot help but wonder where the Hoosiers go from here. The truth is they have three games left. Three chances to win, three opportunities to secure eligibility for that elusive bowl and three ways to show some direction. \nAnd so it has been 12 seasons since the Hoosiers were last in a bowl game. Nine times since then the Hoosiers have recorded a loss to the Spartans. Six of those defeats were by a margin of more than 23 points. \nAnd three games left to make all of those embarrassing figures disappear.
(10/28/05 4:51am)
I'm done with this. \nYou can call these past two weeks a hangover for the Hoosiers. But whatever it's been, don't call them moral victories. Moral victories are for the kid chosen last in a pick-up basketball game.\nCome Saturday, when IU faces Michigan State at Spartan Stadium, there better be a fire lit up the backside of the Hoosier players that is so big it'll be able to save the people from "Lost."\n"But Mister Playin' It Shaffe," you might ask, "why are you so upset?" Well, it is because I know they can win. You might wonder why I expect so much from a team that is putting on its training wheels against a Tour de France lineup represented by the entire Big Ten. \nWell, my loyal reader, I am mad. I am steaming, piping, Hep- versus-the-Hawkeyes mad. I feel like someone slept with my sister, ate my Jimmy John's sandwich and just as a measure of good taste, gave my face the R. Kelly treatment while I was sleeping. Really -- it gives the words "good taste" a whole new meaning. \nThis Hoosier team is good, and it has the potential to be great. So great, in fact, that it can win out the rest of its schedule. I know you think I might have gone to a local IU fraternity, grabbed a handful of roofies, swallowed and started writing this column -- which would explain the pee taste in my mouth, I guess -- but I haven't. \nIt all begins Saturday. IU faces a tough but morale-beaten Michigan State squad it can beat. Both IU and MSU are 4-3. Both teams are 1-3 in the Big Ten. Both teams have an offense that has performed better than its defense. Both offenses looked lousy in the previous week's game. Both schools are looking for the yellow brick road that leads them to Bowl City. Both schools are two wins away from eligibility.\nBoth teams are hungry for a win, which is why IU must become Fat Albert. \nThe problem, of course, lies in the fact that MSU has a terrific offense. But really it has a terrific quarterback. All year, Drew Stanton has been the lifeline for the Spartan's Millionaire Bowl hopes. So far this season in the Big Ten, Stanton is first with a 168.47 quarterback rating and second in yards with 2,040. He leads a school ranked first in the conference in yards per game (552.7) and second in points per game (38). \nBut here are the tails to their Spartan heads. Last week, Stanton threw three interceptions, including two in the end zone. The Spartan defense ranks in the bottom half of the Big Ten in yards and points allowed Their field goal kicker, John Goss, missed two kicks and has been replaced on the bench this Saturday by a freshman. \nMy fellow Hoosiers, it is time to take a "Stant". And it starts with IU linebacker John Pannozzo on Stanton's face. \nI am all out of optimism, and it might seem like my Hoosier-ific vehicle is running on fumes of false hopes. But I know that this ordinary team, even in Hep's first season, is capable of extraordinary things.\nThus, I have thrown down the proverbial gauntlet. I cannot say a victory in East Lansing will be easy or even likely. But it can be done. With an offense running on all cylinders and a defensive "Stant", the Hoosiers could be 5-3.
(10/24/05 4:44am)
What the buck? What happened? Where were the Hoosiers Saturday afternoon? \nThe offense was dormant, the defense relented and now I have loads of mail coming in from Buckeye Nation declaring themselves the greatest football team in the history of the world.\nIn Friday's column, I dubbed Ohio State the bullies of the Big Ten. And Saturday, they took the Hoosiers' lunch money. \nBuck the Buckeyes. \nThey're like cicadas that invade Bloomington every two years instead of every 17. They're loud. They're everywhere. And they make a horrible noise when you step on them. Wait ... what? \nFive reasons we can beat OSU? \n1. Coach Hep. Hep could not duplicate OSU's speed in practice. They were fast, and IU forgot how to tackle. \n2. Turnovers. OSU's one fumble recovery and one interception matched IU's one fumble recovery and interception. The only difference is when Brandon Mitchell picked off Blake Powers in the third quarter and returned it 57 yards to the end zone, it put a 31-10 score on the board, and the game out of reach. \n3. James Hardy. Hardy had two catches the entire game, and one of them wasn't even thrown by Powers. Wide receiver Marcus Thigpen's 20-yard completion to Hardy wobbled in the air for so long it made one writer in the press box wonder aloud whether Matt LoVecchio was back throwing for the Hoosiers. \n4. Lance Bennett. Bennett never had a chance. OSU kicker Josh Huston landed most of his kickoffs deep into the Hoosiers' end zone and even once put the ball through the uprights. Bennett only had 12 yards on one return. \n5. It was time. Now, if only time could have scored 42 points for IU -- maybe then they would've been in business. \nOverall, the game was ugly. The only touchdown came off a magic trick pulled out of the arms of Ted Ginn Jr. IU linebacker John Pannozzo ripped the ball out of Ginn's arms and streaked 57 yards to the OSU goaline to put the game within seven points. But it only took five plays for the Buckeyes to respond, and in the process, extinguish both the defense and the hopes of the Hoosier faithful. \nAnd so Hoosier Hysteria had a setback with reality. The reality has become another long year of listening to Buckeye fans casually drop in a 41-10 domination into conversations. The reality has become how the Hoosiers have not only shown their inefficiencies when both Powers and Hardy are neutralized, but that building a Big Ten program worthy of hype is no instant gratification project. The reality has become a black and blue IU squad discarded by their Big Ten bully counterparts.\nBuck reality and buck the Buckeyes. \nPlease don't misinterpret my inappropriate rant. I am, by no means, putting up a white flag on the cream and crimson simply because they have lost three of their last four games. There is still bowl eligibility to think about.\nBut in front of a nation of viewers OSU crushed any optimism IU would finally rock the Buckeyes. Let's face it -- they gave us an atomic wedgie. \nLord -- I buckin' hate bullies.
(10/21/05 5:21am)
Imagine for a moment a playground at Big Ten Elementary -- the school of hard knocks. On this playground, some kids are playing on the monkey bars, the swings or throwing a football back and forth. \nOhio State, or, as the bullied call him, "OSU," is the big kid on campus. He was the last one to win a national championship or the last kid to win the big race among all the other schools. But lately, OSU has shown signs of weakness. Texas, the steroid-induced kid from Big 12 Elementary, embarrassed him in a race early in the school year. Penn State, the kid who has been in a body cast for two years, defeated him in a race a few weeks ago. \nStill, OSU remains confident. He has an upcoming race against Indiana, or IU. Now, IU has always been a pushover for OSU. Year after year, he pummels IU in a race and even has most of his extended family watch it happen. \nIU hates OSU. And he hates how OSU beats him in front of OSU's extended family when IU can't even get a brother or sister to come watch the race. Year after year, IU hears the sounds of taunts from the extended family of OSU.\nThe last time IU beat OSU was in 1988. (Funny how that is in a span of 17 years and yet this is all taking place in an elementary school, but IU and OSU are not very good at math so let it go). It was the same year IU won eight races and even raced the University of South Carolina from Southeastern Elementary in the Liberty Bowl ... err ... I mean race. \nBut this year is different. Over winter break, a new family adopted IU. His father, Terry Hoeppner, has loaded IU with confidence. He has told IU time and time again how much potential IU has. But most importantly, Hoeppner has an extended family that actually attends IU's races. With a record of 4-2, IU has seen what it is like to go from "pushover" to "pushes over." \nIU outpaced smaller kids like Kentucky and Central Michigan earlier this year, and IU even beat Illinois in a race, but that doesn't mean much at Big Ten Elementary. Illinois is the kid hanging out in the shade. He is always under the same oak tree in the playground talking to himself because, well, no one else will. \nSo there they are. Lined up, foot to foot, right next to "The Rock" -- IU's favorite place to race. Armed with a new family, an actual crowd and renewed confidence, IU's chances seem better than ever. \nThe bully is back. He is big. He is bad. But he's \nbeatable.\nImagine for a moment, a playground at Big Ten Elementary. Imagine this is the year IU beats the bully.
(10/17/05 5:05am)
The football team giveth and the football team taketh away. Like a child playing in a bathtub turning tides, a game of momentum in Iowa City went back and forth. \n"It's hard to get momentum on the road," coach Terry Hoeppner said at the post-game press conference.\nFor the adolescents of the Big Ten, a team which has grown up rapidly before the eyes of every Hoosier, seizing the lead remained a problem. \nMoments of momentum were met with missed opportunities. Following a touchdown late in the third quarter, the special teams gave the offense another chance after recovering a Damian Sims fumble on kickoff. Yes, momentum! One play later Blake Powers' only interception took that opportunity away. No, momentum!\nAt the start of the fourth quarter, Kyle Killion gave IU new life falling on top of a ball coughed up by Iowa running back Albert Young. Beautiful! Then the offense took away the momentum by losing nine yards in three plays and punting. Blasphemy!\nAnd still with 9:51 left in the fourth quarter, IU remained in the game. Despite a 24-21 score favoring the Hawkeyes', a James Bailey touchdown had catapulted momentum into the throws of the Hoosiers. \nIn response, Iowa received the ball and marched down the field quicker than it takes Lindsay Lohan to face plant into a Scarface-ized pile of powder. \nFour plays and eighty yards later, the score and the game were never the same. It was so close, yet so far for an IU program that has lost 15 straight Big Ten road games. \nOf course, it was not the fault of the defense. They caused the turnovers that the offense never capitalized on. But it was not the fault of the offense either. When they brought the game within a field goal, the defense relented a touchdown four plays later. \nIt was a team effort. It was give and take. \nThe Marching Hundred, the band donned in cream and crimson, did its best to give the football team a home field advantage. On first downs they pointed towards the goal line. On Iowa's touchdown celebration chanting the letters I, O, W and A from each corner of the stadium, the band drowned them out by playing "Indiana, We're All For You." The band was resilient swamped in a sea of yellow and black.\nAnd on a day when both quarterback and wide receivers played spectacularly, there was much to make music about. \nIt was only fitting that the press box served popcorn as wide-out James Hardy provided enough entertainment this year to fit an entire movie reel. In the first half alone, Hardy had 118 receiving yards culminating in a jump ball that he plucked out of the sky. For a few moments I temporarily forgot that Randy Moss played for the Oakland Raiders and not the Hoosiers.\nSo give the Hoosiers credit that they put Iowa on their heels. Take away from the game that the offense ran 101 plays and still could not topple a Big Ten team. But overall, winning is a process. \nIt is a process that takes rebuilding. IU has not defeated Iowa in Kinnick Stadium since 1994. \nIt is a process of experience for the young underclassmen. They have an understanding after their first few games in a conference charged atmosphere. \nIt is a process that will teach. It is a process that will work. But for right now, it is a process of give and take.
(10/13/05 5:09am)
To raise awareness (and ticket sales) for Saturday's Homecoming game against Illinois, coach Terry Hoeppner invited Hoosier fans to e-mail him for the chance to give their 12-year-old-and-under son or daughter an exclusive chance to participate in "The Walk" to "The Rock." The contest asked the kids to answer the question, "What is a Hoosier?"\nSo I decided to answer the question to myself. I thought, "Self: What is a Hoosier?" And considering I am a child at heart, I figure that more than qualifies me to submit a response to coach Hep. \nAccording to the dictionary, a Hoosier is a nickname used for a native or resident of Indiana. \nBut really, what is a Hoosier?\n• A Hoosier is someone who thinks IU basketball is as essential as eating. \n• A Hoosier is someone who knows that the phrase, "Hep Got Me!" is a good thing, and not a concern for the health center.\n• A Hoosier is someone who thinks that laughing at freshmen trying to jump over the fence and into the bar on any given Thursday night is a sport. \n• A Hoosier is someone who thinks New Jersey is a city in New York. \n• A Hoosier is someone who knows that "Driving down Fee" is not another phrase for a price discount. \n• A Hoosier is someone who will argue that Reggie Miller was a better clutch shooter than Michael Jordan -- and actually believe it. \n• A Hoosier is someone who doesn't mistake excise for exercise. Though both words involve running, the first includes running as fast as you can while hanging on to your fake ID.\n• A Hoosier is someone who still can't believe Vote for Pedro actually won.\n• A Hoosier is someone who knows that Little 500 is a bike race and not an annual gathering of midgets. (I'm sorry: the "vertically challenged.") \n• A Hoosier is someone who knows that a Cutter does not necessarily involve a knife. \n• A Hoosier is someone who knows that "Mike Davis and the NBA" is a punch line for a joke, and not a plausible possibility. \n• A Hoosier is someone who knows that Briscoe can be called The Disco, and that McNutt can be called, well, let's just say the girls can be quite friendly in McNutt. \n• A Hoosier is someone who knows the difference between SPEA and Kelley are the letters "I" and "Q." \nPlease do not take any of these responses to heart. If you want my honest opinion, a Hoosier is someone who embraces all types of cultures in all walks of life, as Bloomington has done for thousands of college students each year, including myself. It is a town where an Italian restaurant sits next to a place that serves Indian cuisine. It is a town where the Hillel Center is sandwiched on greek row. It is a town where Mediterranean meals meet hacky-sacking hippies. If Indiana is the crossroads of America, Bloomington is a train stop that landscapes a peaceful community of equality and diversity.\nSo, what is a Hoosier? It's a lot of things. And whatever that might be, I'm proud to be a part of it.