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(05/03/13 3:38am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>It seems impossible that this marks the last column I will write for the IDS as a graduating senior. After four years as a Hoosier, three of which were full of IDS deadlines writing for various sections of our newspaper, I can’t imagine not having another article to look forward to, another homecoming week to partake in, another long night at the Herman B Wells Library, another stroll through the arboretum or another semester that sped by and swallowed me whole. Realizing that my days of flashing my IU student ID card to get a discount or taking care of a bill by saying “just put it on my bursar” is like waking up on a Sunday morning wondering what the heck happened over the weekend and where the time went. I believe that the best option we have as seniors and Hoosiers who can’t major in time control is to look forward with positivity, reflecting on our past experiences with pride. It is impossible to go through college and not have some regrets. Regretting decisions is inevitable when learning and growing, but choosing to make better choices and improve in the future instead of dwelling on the past is the key to earning our own personal banner as we prepare to graduate. Although no one can be sure of what the future holds, I am confident that my time at IU has made me stronger, wiser and more grateful and has prepared me to take on the next chapter of my life with grace.So here goes, my last words of advice through the IDS for students who have more time to appreciate being a student in our wonderful, beautiful and unique community. It’s advice I wish someone had shared with me. 1. Expect challenges: College is regarded as the best four years of your life because you are put into an environment unlike any other. You get to test drive independence and responsibility while being surrounded by a whole new group of people without having to worry about making a little bit of a mess. Sometimes, it seems like we expect college to be perfect, but that is certainly not the case. You will spend a portion of each year worried. Worried about making friends, getting along with roommates, getting an internship or job, competing with other students, budgeting money, staying out of drama and overthinking silly text messages sent while under the influence. The list goes on. You can’t sense the difficulties ahead by stalking your older friends’ Facebook photo albums. The best part of college is overcoming the challenges that have the capacity to bring us down until we walk away as the winners. Take five minutes to be scared, but then put your worries away and continue to conquer challenges with a smile. 2. Use your resources: There is a reason that clubs, free activities and even two free sessions at CAPS per semester are awarded to us as IU students. Leaving home and dealing with the difficulties a college student faces is not easy. The worst thing you can do is choose to bottle up your anxiety when you are surrounded by people who feel the same way. Get out and attend a club meeting, meet people you wouldn’t regularly meet, sit in on a guest speaker and make yourself a well-rounded, experienced student. Although getting out of the house was often the hardest part for me, it always turned out being worthwhile. When you feel bogged down, stressed and overwhelmed, chances are you just need a breath of fresh air, so go try something new and take advantage of the unique opportunities that are constantly taking place around you.3. Emphasize the “U” in IU: As a freshman, I was constantly worried about what other people thought of me, always concerned about making more friends. One of the hardest lessons I learned is that people love you most when you are being yourself, not trying to be who you think they want you to be. Use your years at IU to learn who you are — find what you like, try new activities, build the confidence to truly be and appreciate what makes you quirky and unique and embrace the challenge to gain that confidence. It isn’t easy eating a meal by yourself, introducing yourself at a party or speaking up in a crowd, but gaining confidence in yourself gives you the opportunity to get comfortable in your own skin and be ready to take on life’s challenges with your head held up high. Don’t worry about the what ifs that can accompany embarrassment. Instead, don’t be afraid to make a mistake. Make your four years about finding your own spark. — espitzer@indiana.edu
(04/23/13 3:50am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>QuestionHelp! I cannot believe the dreaded day of graduation is almost here. I can’t help but feel devastated when I think about graduating. Everyone says college is the best four years of your life, and I am not ready to be done. I am worried about my future, staying in contact with my friends, living in a different city and finding a job. Do you have any pointers on how to look forward without so much fear?AnswerBelieve me, my roommates and I won’t let anyone utter the g-word, “graduation,” without feeling our stomachs tighten and our faces pout. Of course, no one gets excited for an incredible chapter to end, but all graduating Hoosiers must find a way to turn the anxiety into excitement. As graduation draws near, we must remember how lucky we are to have had an experience that leaves us wanting more, to have the education we have obtained and the technology that will allow us to keep up with our community from the past four years. Make sure to spend the next few weeks living it up. Eat at the places you enjoy, hang out at your favorite campus spots, take springtime strolls with the friends you love catching up with and recognize the things you learned to love about our campus over the past four years. Don’t forget that even though time is scarce, there is still time. Here are some things every graduate needs to know as we welcome May.1. By the way, congratulations: A little more 30 percent of Americans have a bachelor’s degree — you have earned something to be very, very proud of. While it may seem as though jobs are low and opportunities are limited, don’t forget that being a college graduate makes you one of the lucky ones. You have educated yourself, had a wonderful experience and are ready to take on the challenge everyone else faces of finding a fit for the years to come. It may be scary being unsure of what happens next, but don’t forget you have accomplished something great and are headed in the right direction. Don’t forget to be confident that if you survived the last four years, you can cope with what is yet to come.2. A familiar feeling: Remember how it felt first coming to IU? Afraid you were leaving all your friends at home, worried about having a roommate, being far from your family and leaving everything you knew? Well, look how that worked out! Life is full of chapters beginning and ending, and we have to keep going by welcoming the next steps in our paths with courage and excitement. Remind yourself that if the past four years were so wonderful, the next ones could be even better.3. Uncertainty? You are not alone: Don’t know what you want to do with your life? Look around you. Students, professors, even the kid that says he knew he wanted to be a doctor since the first grade is uncertain of what is coming next. Even if your friends have jobs, it doesn’t mean they are guaranteed to be “OK” forever. Everyone is stepping into something new, and even those who seem certain will have to deal with transition periods of finding work, finding new passions and dealing with life’s little flukes that change up our plans when we least expect it. Don’t spend your last few weeks in college worrying about the next step. Be active in the job search, but when the time comes, you will have a place to be as long as you stay motivated and pursue what excites you. A good friend of mine always says, “I spent a lifetime worrying about the things I never saw coming.” Don’t waste the worry when the future will bring whatever is in store.4. Love that laptop: During a discussion with my parents, I was shocked to find out they hardly kept in touch with anyone after college. Their only options were letters and long-distance phone calls, and in order to stay in touch, they had to be incredibly invested in making the effort. How lucky are we to have Facebook, group texting and social networks that hook us up with the people in our area? Be glad that staying in contact is so easy and your friends are a text message away. Of course it is scary acknowledging we won’t be around the same people next year, but it is all a part of life. It’s true that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and being even more grateful for the experiences you had at IU isn’t such a bad thing.— espitzer@indiana.edu
(04/16/13 3:30am)
Dear Eshley, I can’t sleep at night. No matter how hard I try, I just
can’t get a good night’s rest. Is it something I’m doing? What did I do
to deserve this?
(04/09/13 12:44am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>QuestionSo, here comes graduation, and my girlfriend and I are moving to different states. We are so used to being around one another that I know it will be difficult for both of us, especially when we try to make a new life for ourselves. What can I do to make the transition sting a little less and be prepared to make it work as best we can?AnswerIt’s that time of year — the one couples and even best friends dread. We have been in a perfect place, surrounded by people we have come to love and spend all our time with. Now, after living in an enjoyable, free and fun college environment, we have to join the “real world,” where we will be without our familiar, comfortable community, whether it be a girlfriend, best friend, greek housemate or friendly pizza delivery man. It seems scary, but it’s also very exciting. Don’t forget that you did this once before, when coming to college, and the relationships that mean the most to us will prevail. Of course, being in a long-distance relationship is not at all easy, but many people call the long-term separation “the test” where your relationship’s strength and long-term potential will be made much more clear. It’s true that absence makes the heart grow fonder and doing what’s best for you next year, even if that means being far away from your girlfriend, is what you need to do at this time in your life. As hard as it is to trust, things will work out the way they are meant to be with the right mindset, effort and attitude. Here are some tips on how to make the best of long distance.Talk it outMake some sort of plan about your regular communication, visits to one another and daily interactions. Having some Skype dates set up on a regular basis or good hours to call once you get your schedule done will keep you from constantly obsessing over how the other is doing. Planning to visit one another every two weeks, month or few months will give you a time to look forward to seeing one another and make the long-distance drags much less difficult. Knowing that you are on the same page about making it work is essential. Having the support of your girlfriend while starting a new chapter of your life will bring a whole new level of appreciation to your relationship.Commit or quitLong-term works, but you have to want it, and the only way to do that is to really commit to it and know that your partner is, too. Wouldn’t you always be there for a family member, whether you see each other every day or not? The same has to be true for a long-term relationship. Be willing to give a portion of your day to your girlfriend where you know and she knows you will be open to talk, and be ready to spend money on visiting the other and make it a regular expense. The commitment from a distance will add a new responsibility to your relationship, but it will prove worth it if things work out. Trust is a must.A long-term relationship will never work with someone you are skeptical about. Whether it’s bad history or personal insecurities that keep you from trusting your partner, you must find a way to trust the other and relieve all the excess worries. Constantly being afraid of your partner’s unknown actions will drive you crazy. Being on the same page will make for the happiest ending.— espitzer@indiana.eduNeed advice? You can submit your own advice questions to Eshley.
(04/02/13 2:01am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Question Help! I am very lucky that my parents are helping me with pay for my tuition, my room and board and even extra spending. I work during the summers but not much during the school year and have a really hard time budgeting the money I have to spend. What are some tips on budgeting that I can learn now before entering the real world?Answer It’s true. Everyone has to learn how to budget, and it isn’t easy. Unfortunately, most of us don’t have cash to waste on a regular basis and are trying to get by with a small cash flow. The best thing you can do in college is work with your resources and learn how to spend reasonably so that when you are running low, have a new salary or are trying to save, you know how to do it. The first thing you must do is commit to living on a budget. Mom and dad may be helping now, but that won’t always be the case, and budgeting is the only way to stay out of trouble. The first step is adopting will power. You don’t need to buy everything you see or always treat yourself. A new outfit, a concert and a nice dinner out are all nice things, but you have to learn to say yes less often than you say no. Pick one big treat a month and then save so that you don’t end up being broke. Think of all the extra purchases you bought last week that could have been saved: a trip to the vending machine, a new blouse, late-night eating? Learning how to say no will not only help you from being broke, it will build up your will power and make you a much stronger and more disciplined person.Here are a few tips on how to be more responsible when working with budgeting funds.1. Stick to a plan. Make a budget for several necessities and stick to it. If your parents give you $200, decide how much of the money will go to food, activities, groceries, savings, etc. before you start to spend. For example, say you will only spend $40 on eating out every week. Once you commit to this range, stick to it and plan early so that you get to go out for the most enjoyable nights and you have time and resources to cook for yourself when the extra funds are not available. Getting familiar with a budget, doing the math and enforcing discipline is one of the best lessons you can learn in college.2. Always have backup money. I was taught to never, ever go without $20 in my pocket. If I were ever stuck or in an emergency, I would not need to worry about my safety. Having the will power to never spend that last $20 and always keep it for emergency situations helped me develop a much better sense of control and the ability to say no, which is the first step to success.3. Find a mentor. There are too many students who become broke in college, but there are many students who can be a resource to you who have mastered the art of budgeting. Find someone in a situation similar to your own and ask them for advice. Look at the way they budget, what they consider “necessities” and follow the leader. You can always learn how to say no together.— espitzer@indiana.eduThis question was submitted to Eshley by a reader. To submit your own question, email her or arts@idsnews.com.
(03/26/13 2:35am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Question: I got a summer internship in San Francisco, and I am so excited but so scared! I don’t know anyone there. I am afraid of having no friends around all summer. What’s your advice on meeting people and making friends when moving to a new city?Answer: Congratulations. One of the most exciting opportunities we have at our current age is the ability to travel to and try out new places. With all the students moving to new cities after graduation, for summer internships or traveling abroad, you certainly are not alone and have a huge support net. Recognize this as an incredible chance to see an incredible city, get a feel for San Francisco’s unique culture and branch out by building your confidence and putting yourself out there. Here are some hints on how to make a new city your own.1. Get out there. In today’s world, we are lucky enough to have access to our parents, best friends and even pets with a single click. Your current support network isn’t going anywhere, and you aren’t losing them just by moving away for a while. Go out to new venues and be open in showing off those fun, admirable characteristics your friends love about you. Making friends is much easier with a big smile and confidence. Don’t be afraid to ask people at work where to hang out, what to do for fun and how to make the most of your time. You will find that people love to help and reach out when they love their city and feel appreciated.2. Find the connection. Reach out and find someone who lives or knows people in your new city. Even if it is your old roommate’s grandmother, one person leads to a whole network of people. Someone will know somebody who would love to tell you about the new city and introduce you to someone in your age group. Of course, not everyone is bound to be your best friend, but the more people you meet, the more connections you make and the more opportunities you have to grow and make friends during your summer. When you reach out, it is sure to pay off, and knowing at least one person will make your new city feel more like home.3. Hunt out your hobbies. What do you like to do? Are you a huge sports fan? Love to paint? Enjoy going to concerts? Your hobbies become really important when seeking out like-minded friends in a new city. San Francisco has numerous events, fairs and festivals to keep your planner full and your options open. With lots of new students moving in for jobs, for some beachy weather or for a new life, you will find the new kids on the block in the places where they are comfortable doing what they like to do. Be outgoing and ready to practice talking and smiling. Worst case scenario, it will be over in a few months. But if you choose to go out with a smile, after a summer in a new city, you will come home with a whole new network and as a different person.— espitzer@indiana.edu
(03/19/13 3:18am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Question: Help! I have a friend who has really started to abuse alcohol use. We used to have so much fun at the bars, but now he seems to always be under the influence. I know his parents are worried, but he does not take their concerns seriously. I have made some comments, but he gets offended and doesn’t change. What can I do to help my friend without losing him?Answer: It is never easy to see a friend go through a rough time and deny that his “hobby” has become an issue. With the college culture norm, students often think drinking heavily and often is OK, and obviously that is not the case. Forget the “it isn’t alcoholism until we graduate” attitude. If alcohol abuse is getting in the way of your friend’s life, making him irresponsible and affecting his health, an intervention is necessary. First of all, give yourself credit for recognizing the problem and wanting to help your friend, and next, commit to doing something about it, even if it might anger or hurt your friend temporarily. It’s important to remember the resources available to students through Counseling and Psychological Services at the IU Health Center. You should point your friend toward them and use them yourself.Before you talk to your friend, prepare by making a list of the problems you have noticed that have surfaced due to the alcohol abuse. For example, he forgets to do work, he treats people badly, his grades have suffered, etc. When you present obvious reasons, he cannot deny the evidence. Next, make sure your friend is sober when you talk and you are together in a place where you can talk. Be caring and compassionate and prove you are there to help him because you care about the relationship and want to help him get better. Don’t make it about you and how your friend has hurt your feelings or has made everyone else angry, but focus on why helping your friend will make his life better and save him from an even greater problem. Finally, make sure to bring up the issues that will arise if the drinking does not stop. For example, you can say that continuing to get bad grades will keep him from graduating or health concerns will be present for the rest of his life. Make it clear he is not alone and that his behavior under the influence does not reflect his actual character but can be fixed by getting help. Tell your friend that everyone in his life is willing to help, and you can find other things to do for fun that don’t involve alcohol until he is better. Your friend may get upset and angry with you, but make sure to stay as calm and strong as possible and have backup support. Reach out to his family and friends who can help make a safer environment for your friend and help him become comfortable with reaching out for help. It may be difficult for a period of time, but do not forget you are ultimately saving your friend and being more than just a college acquaintance. By acting like a real, genuine friend, he will forever be grateful for concern. I wish you the best of luck, and congratulations on taking a mature step in the right direction.— espitzer@indiana.eduThis question was submitted to Eshley. If you want to ask her for advice, email arts@idsnews.com.
(03/05/13 4:17am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Question: Help! One of my roommates and best friends just lost one of her parents and is having a very hard time. I feel so bad for her and want to help, but do not want to intrude at all. She says she appreciates the support, but I don’t know exactly how to support her. What can I do to show her I care and be there for here in an appropriate way? — Anonymous IU student.Answer: It is terribly difficult, not only to have to grieve for someone, but also to watch a friend go through the same stages. First of all, pat yourself on the back for embracing your friend in a time of need in the right way. She is very lucky to have you. Grieving is a very tragic time, especially when we are separated from home and stuck in school’s frenzy of responsibilities. The most important thing you can do for your friend after she has lost a parent is remind her she is not alone and is cared for deeply and greatly. Listening, doing and supporting are the three main ways to be there in the way a best friend needs you most.1. Listening. It is normal to worry about what to say to someone in this position, but listening is the most important action. Don’t wait for your friend to come to you. While you shouldn’t force her, it is important to encourage talking, expressing feelings and letting some of the thoughts and grief be said out loud. Acknowledge her feelings and remind her it’s OK to be angry, to feel upset and to react without being judged. Be ready to just sit. Sometimes the person grieving won’t know what to say, but needs the comfort of someone around. Let her talk about whatever comes to mind and know that the pain will decrease the more they acknowledge the reality of the situation. Never say you know exactly how she feels, as every situation is very different. However, if you have suffered a similar loss or know someone who has and think sharing would be comforting, don’t be afraid to bring it up.2. Doing. Do something that will remind your friend that she is still cared about, as it will help with the grieving process. Don’t ask what you can do — sometimes the extra attention can make a grieving friend very uncomfortable. Instead, do little things: pick up her groceries, clean her room, bring home a magazine or make dinner one night, lend a movie, do their laundry. The little moments of help during the hard days will help lessen the feelings that the world is over and help remind your friend that she will be OK and is very cared for. Take initiative and do what makes her happy without making her seem at all like an extra burden.3. Supporting. Ongoing support is the most important way to help a friend. The grieving process can last a long time and can be accompanied by extreme behaviors and emotions while the different stages pass. Don’t take these reactions personally or be scared away. Instead, offer ongoing support and be there for the long haul. Don’t expect that one day your friend will wake up and be “over it.” Make it clear you are always open to talk and will always be a support system. On special days where the person may be thinking more about her lost parent or her family, write a note to show that you will be thinking of your friend that day and spend the evening together, doing whatever makes her feel more at ease. Suggest that your friend visit a counselor or set up a regular counseling session for some extra support during time. — espitzer@indiana.edu
(02/26/13 3:19am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Question Help! Spring break is two weeks away and I feel like the holiday weight is more apparent than ever. How do I work on having a spring break body in this time crunch?Answer Well, you certainly aren’t alone — try to get an elliptical at the Student Recreational Sports Center at this time of year and you will see everyone is in the same situation, dreaming of Mexico madness while trying to shed some pounds. After a weary winter of heavy coats and thick layers, breaking out shorts and bathing suits is intimidating for any college kid wanting to be spring break eye candy. Unfortunately, just like any other life event, change takes time, dedication and desire. Look on the bright side of the spring break sun, who says two weeks isn’t enough time? There are several things you can do to feel healthier and happier in even just a few days if you make some realistic goals and stick to them. When a candy dish comes around or the idea of a nap sounds more appealing than a workout, convince yourself that this is a two-week “experiment” to be as healthy and in shape as possible. Soon you will be lounging on the beach with plenty of time for some sun. Don’t rely on magic and believe there is potion to transform your body in a day, and don’t follow any fad diet that will have you waking up in the middle of the night with a growling belly. Instead, just be smart and you will feel better in no time. Here are some tips that will have you feeling and looking great.1. Willpower is the way. When I try to eat healthier, I start with developing willpower. Saying “no” the first time is often the most difficult time, but after that initial rejection of the chocolate cake or bar breadsticks, the next time is easier. But after you said no the first time and survived, why not do it again? Build up willpower slowly. The more experience you have, the more you will feel in control of your choices.2. Just 20 minutes. The idea of getting back into a gym routine always bogs me down when I think about an hour-long workout everyday, but what if you only commit to a 20-minute work out? This is long enough to be effective, but short enough to seem do-able. A 20-minute commitment will get you in the gym with ease. The hardest part is getting to the physical building, but once you are listening to pump-up jams and moving your feet, staying for an additional 15 or 20 minutes might make your day, leaving you feeling brand new.3. Keep calm. When we obsess over our weight, flaws and short deadlines, the task at hand becomes that much harder to complete. Getting in shape can be enjoyable and rewarding, but you have to allow yourself to enjoy the process. Getting hung up on having the perfect body will leave you fatigued and craving food to lessen that anxiety. Don’t act like it’s the end of the world. Instead, seek some inspiration, tell yourself you are able and stay confident. You can make these changes. If you tell yourself it’s yours to have, the goal is already halfway accomplished.— espitzer@indiana.edu This question was submitted to Eshley. Want her advice? Email arts@idsnews.com.
(02/19/13 4:34am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Question: Help! As a senior, I have a serious case of slacking. Even when I try to study, I have such great difficulty. How can I beat this senioritis so I actually make it to graduation in May?Answer: It’s that time of year, slacking season, and as a senior, the bug can really bite you. When we grow weary of the winter weather and all we want is some sunshine and inspiration, keeping up on course work gets tough. Unfortunately, staying motivated all the time is nearly impossible, especially when social opportunities, graduation plans and spring break seem to take up considerable space in your mind. After almost four years of copying notes, viewing PowerPoint presentations and obsessively checking OnCourse, it is no surprise you are starting to hit snooze button. Although staying tuned in and focused can be difficult, it is all about the “B-word” — balance. In the same way we get tired when we don’t sleep, we lose focus when we aren’t properly balancing our time.When I felt myself falling into the senioritis circle of death, I decided to readopt my freshman year scheduling technique, allowing me to allocate my time most wisely. Every week, I make a list of the top tasks that must be done, prioritizing them by their deadlines and importance. With the list already made, I plan out a schedule for each day of that week, fitting in time for school, social activities and, most importantly, reenergizing. I always make time to exercise — one of the greatest ways to keep the wheels in your brain turning and to help you focus with more ease. I like to look at this method as a dinner plate — allocating enough time to each of those “food groups” that give me a balanced dish.When I have a really busy week, I make sure to allow more weekend time for a rejuvenating activity. When the senior status gets to you and keeps you from getting out of bed to greet your professors, try and start simply, with an hour-by-hour schedule. Tell yourself it is an experiment As a senior, some days will be much harder than others when you have to wake up early or study for an exam, but the best way to go about it is to rejuvenate yourself as needed so you can always play up to par. At the end of the day, you are that much closer to bittersweet graduation, so never forget your time here is a gift. — espitzer@indiana.eduSubmit your question to Eshley at arts@idsnews.com.
(02/12/13 4:01am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Question: Once again, I am alone on Valentine’s Day. What can I do instead of feeling sorry for myself?Answer: Believe me, there are more of us out here who feel the same way you do during that lovey-dovey, Hallmark, chocoholic day. Even though the couples holding hands and the love in the air might seem to be staring you down, Valentine’s Day is just like every other day — you have the power to choose the way you feel. The best way to make the most of a day celebrating love is to do exactly that, celebrate the love you give and recognize the love you are given.The most meaningful Valentine’s Day I celebrated was last year in Ghana. My friends and I didn’t waste time moping about our single status but instead bought as much candy as our Ghanaian coins could buy and shared it with two orphanages in the village.While handing out candy, putting smiles on faces and bringing love to those who were lacking it, we were told in Ghana that Valentine’s Day is about celebrating more than just romantic love, but friendship. Of course, we all want a partner to compliment us, hold us when we are down and share in the experiences we mutually enjoy, but love cannot be great until you love yourself. Valentine’s Day is the perfect day to treat yourself and remember the reasons why anyone is lucky to have you in their life, no matter what role you play. There will always be times where you feel alone, afraid or angry to be on your own. Don’t act like the Grinch, cursing the cute couples around you for what they have found. Instead, find the love that already exists in your life that you may be taking for granted.Here are some things you can do this Valentine’s Day to feel your best.1. Cook a dinner for the friends you love: This is what I’ll be doing this Valentine’s Day. Take those recipes from Pinterest you have been saving up for days and put them to use. Do something you love, get creative in the kitchen, pop open a bottle of champagne (or sparkling cider for the not-yet-legal folks), play fun games around the table and enjoy each other. There is nothing greater than good food, great company and some bubbly.2. Have an “I Love Me” day: What do you love about you? There are so many things you can do to feel happy, energized and wonderful. Get romantic with Ben & Jerry’s, get a massage, download a new playlist and go work out. Do what makes you feel great. Once you love yourself, the rest comes right along.3. Share the love you have to give: Nothing makes me feel better than playing with puppies. Go volunteer with those who need love most — cuddle up with a lab or donate your time to a cause you are passionate about. Paying it forward will always make you stronger. The best thing we can do to find love is to first share it.It won’t be easy to see the commercials, candy sales or romantic date nights around you, but don’t start feeling sorry for yourself when you have so much love around you. Take a few minutes to feel down, but then go show the world (and maybe even potential lovers) all of the love you have to give.— espitzer@indiana.eduThis anonymous question was submitted to Eshley. Want her advice? Email arts@idsnews.com.
(02/05/13 4:18am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Question: I have been friends with a girl I have become more and more interested in for quite some time. Because of our friendship, I always get too nervous to tell her how I feel, but I would like to see if we could take things to the next level. I don’t want things to get awkward if she doesn’t feel the same way. What should I do?Well, we have all been there, so I’ll start with a friend of mine who inspired me in these situations. We’ll call her Alice. Alice used to never tell a guy when she had feelings for him, even when they seemed mutual. When she finally gained the confidence to tell him how she felt, after they no longer were living in the same city, he professed his mutual liking for her and wished he had known the day he met her. On two different accounts now, Alice has been upfront with the men who caught her eye, and so far, each of them have not only mutually been interested but were turned on to her confidence to be honest and forward. Now, of course, Alice’s theory does not work in every situation all the time, but the chances of being pleasantly surprised are high.Because we naturally spend time wondering what would happen if we took things one step forward with the people we like, we will only regret it forever if we don’t do something about it. Best-case scenario, you get what you both wanted, but shied away from. Sometimes in the college, it seems like no one wants to be in a relationship or commit or has time for “strong feelings.” In reality, there is a lot of fear of rejection that keeps us from pursuing something we want.Rejection is, of course, scary, but the best thing you can do for yourself is get comfortable with saying “who cares?” Think about it, either you miss something that could have been a wonderful opportunity, maybe love, maybe a job, you get the idea. Worst-case scenario, you express your feelings and they aren’t mutual. So maybe three or four days are spent with a little less communication between the two of you, but that is really the worst-case scenario. The whole world, let alone your whole network, won’t know about the rejection or even recognize it as “rejection.” If it doesn’t work out, remember that you are still the same, confident, awesome, fun loving person you were before, and practice and experience make perfect. Either you take the chance or spend the rest of time wondering. It’s better to know now so that you can win big or move forward to find something even better.How should you approach the girl? Don’t pull a Ted Mosby “I love you” right out of the bag. Instead, start to flirt a little, make it clearer you have feelings for her and then just tell her how you feel. Express that you enjoy the time you spend together, pointing out what you like most about her and ask her to go out for a bite to eat during the week. Good luck, and don’t forget the most inspirational college advice — “YOLO.”
(01/29/13 4:47am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Question: As graduation gets closer, I still have no idea what I want to do, and I am starting to get anxious looking for jobs. Even some of my friends with jobs seem unsure of what they are doing. How do I keep looking without knowing what I want?Your dilemma is one that everyone around you is dealing with. At the ripe age of around 20, all the answers aren’t going to be there, no matter how hard you try. Your job is to enjoy the young years, a test trial period, and find what suits you. You have spent the majority of your life in the classroom educating yourself and getting a feel for several different fields.The few months after graduation is the time to apply those skills in the field and see where you thrive the most.A great professor once told me to have a flexible two-year plan: never less and never more. With two years, you at least have some structured idea of what you would like to try but do not commit to a time frame that may hinder you from new opportunities. Put together an idea of what you want to accomplish or learn about yourself in the next two years, and pursue it via the trial method. Until you try, experience, expose and throw yourself into new environments and fields, you won’t know what piques your passions for a career. Here are some tips for what to do in the coming months.1. Talk it out. You are surrounded by professors, advisers, faculty and grad students who are all familiar with what you are currently experiencing. Talk to professors, ask them what they did after college, how they explored their interests and what they did to end up where they are today. Never be afraid to ask the hard questions or even to search for a mentor who can help you in the future. These mentors are here for you, looking to advise students and help them succeed. Once you invest interest in them and their accomplishments, they will invest time and care into helping you achieve yours. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. That is their job, and the more support you can get, the better.2. Try it out. You won’t know until you try, so now is the time to start trying. Get an internship that seems interesting and see where it takes you. While involved, make contacts, talk to employees to get a feel for their daily life, do informational interviews with partner organizations and figure out what kind of career would suit you. Do you like working in an office at a desk? Are you better working with a team? Maybe what you thought you liked does not appeal to you at all on a professional level. You can’t pick a life path from the classroom without going out and practicing it first.3. Never say it’s final. The world we live in is no longer full of professionals who specialize in one career for their entire lives. Most people get different jobs, work in several fields, combine their interests and expertise in several ways and end up being involved in a mix of madness. A professor of mine majored in English, earned a master’s in social work before being enticed to study law, worked as an international lawyer and then instructed at a university. Don’t feel like you must settle in one place for the rest of your life. Be hardworking, flexible and aware of your interests. Always attempt to improve yourself and do what makes you feel worthy and happy.This question was posed by the IDS staff. You can submit your own advice question to Eshley by emailing arts@idsnews.com— espitzer@indiana.edu
(01/23/13 4:39am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Question: “During the wintertime, my attitude is never the same. I feel more emotional and less motivated to be social, go out and be productive. What should I do so that I stop feeling down for the next few months?”Feeling sad during the wintertime is not unusual. In fact, millions of people around the world suffer from “SAD,” or “seasonal affective disorder.” Also known as the “winter blues,” SAD is recognized as an episodic depression that occurs at the same time each year when the days are shorter, darker and colder. Symptoms often start in the late fall and can continue through the end of the winter. These symptoms include feeling fatigued and a lack of energy, as well as being more emotional and easily upsettable. People often have a tougher time waking up early, are less motivated to work out and crave more sugar and sweets to increase their level of energy. Sometimes, the desire to eat more sweets can lead to weight gain, which can leave people feeling even more depressed. With seasonal depression, concentration can suffer and you may find yourself withdrawing from social circles and spending less time with friends and more time alone. The symptoms affect many people to varying degrees of severity, but most peopleh feel at least some of these winter blues, especially after the holiday season. If you find that SAD is affecting your productivity, relationships, school work or is simply leaving you feeling depressed, it is a good idea to seek treatment and look into light therapy. Light therapy is an effective treatment for “SAD” where light boxes are set up to mimic sunlight, easing the SAD symptoms triggered by darkness and cold. If you feel as though you have a small case of the winter blues, there are several treatments in addition to light therapy that can help relieve your seasonal sadness.1. Take a vitamin D supplement. Vitamin D maintains normal blood levels of calcium and phosphate and Vitamin D production is enhanced by exposure to the sun. Seasonal depression can often be linked to a deficiency in vitamin D. Since sunlight exposure is limited in the winter, taking a supplement can help you feel stronger during those weary winter months.2. Exercise for energy. One of the most common seasonal symptoms is feeling a lack of energy during the winter. The best way to feel more energized is to get a cardio-based workout to boost your metabolism and leave you feeling fresh and efficient. Though it may be difficult to hit the gym, try 30 minutes of a fun class like kickboxing or cycling to get you back in a workout routine.3. Eat for fuel. On the days you feel like staying in bed, it is most important to eat right as soon as you wake up in the morning. Start your day with nutritious and delicious choices that include protein, calcium and folic acid. The perfect breakfast would a be a bowl of oatmeal with blueberries, milk and yogurt with almonds and honey.Finding ways to beat seasonal depression during the long, cold winter months is the best way to make the most of that frightful weather and be even more jazzed up for Bloomington in the springtime.—espitzer@indiana.eduThis question was submitted by the IDS staff — you can ask Eshley your own advice questions by emailing arts@idsnews.com
(01/15/13 4:29am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Question: Even though I love IU, I do not like the competition among students. I never feel like I stand out among my peers and classmates. What can I do so that I don’t always feel intimated?Answer: It is very normal to feel lost in the crowd at a big university like IU where there always seems to be something bigger and better than you. A sense of constant competition can be intimidating and impossible, but only if you let it keep you down. Here are some guidelines on how to stay focused and fight through any feelings of fear during your college career.1. Focus on being your best, not everyone else’s best. No matter where you go in life, whether it be a lecture, a job position or even a fun extracurricular activity, there will always be someone “better” than you. On the other hand, there will always be someone who isn’t as great as you are as well. Your job isn’t to become the greatest and most skilled student of all time. Your job is to use your skills to improve. No two people are the same, and your goal should be to make the most of your unique abilities and bring something new to the table. If you are constantly competing to be the “best,” you are focused on the wrong piece of the puzzle.2. Don’t lose sight of the big picture. Even though college is said to be the best four years of your life, it is a learning process full of ups and downs. When finals week comes, it may seem like your whole life is on the line with tests and getting a 4.0 GPA, when in reality, your main job is to learn what you love and engage in an educational environment. Not everyone graduates college with a dream job. As young students, we have to work up to our potential. Our job is to take advantage of the numerous opportunities that can open our eyes to what we love. Take a class that seems interesting, go to a call-out meeting or see a student-run show. You may find a new skill, interest or passion that could add a whole new platform of possibilities.3. Find a leadership opportunity. Sometimes we get the wrong impression that we should be able to do everything under the sun in college. In reality, being a full-time student is a full-time job and it is best to pick involvement wisely without loading up your plate too high. Find a leadership opportunity that suits you and give it enough time, commitment and care to where you really benefit from the experience of being in charge. Leading a group, making decisions and practicing responsibility gives you a new level of authority and is very important practice for the future.This question was contributed by the IDS staff. You can email Eshley your own advice question at arts@idsnews.com.
(01/09/13 4:39am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>QUESTION: How do I keep my resolutions for the new year?A new year is a time for revision, intervention and progression. Write some resolutions that will keep the good times rolling in. After revisiting last year’s resolutions, it is important to set the plan for success in the coming year. Whether you wish for a higher grade-point average, a new group of friends or a healthier home, resolutions should be reasonable enough that, in March, you won’t find yourself right where you were in 2012.1. Where there is a will, there is a way. If you are interested in being healthier, focus on what you will do to get in bathing-suit-body shape and not on what you won’t be able to do. Work with what you will do. You will eat more servings of fruits and vegetables, start a fun exercise class, find gym buddies and reward yourself with a shopping spree once you reach your first goal. Picturing positive additions, instead of a long list of losses, is the first step in the right direction.2. Find a purpose to spur your progression. Sure, you want to get better grades or quit a bad habit, but what’s your motivation? When we make a resolution without an obvious reason, it becomes hard to follow. Write down a handful of reasons why better grades will benefit you. Refer to it throughout the year. Whether it is an internship opportunity, getting into grad school or landing a scholarship, attaching your resolution to a specific opportunity inspires you to acquire success.3. Take small steps and reward progress. Give yourself five small goals and, each time you have successfully meet one, recognize it. Focus on the five things you have done and ignore any small, silly setbacks. Every day, write out one change you made that aligns with your ultimate resolution.— espitzer@indiana.eduNOTE: This advice question came from the arts desk editors. You can submit your own advice questions for Eshley by emailing arts@idsnews.com.
(12/05/12 3:44am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Wallowing around the Herman B Wells Library and often fighting the fatigue with a large coffee, we enter a fast food phase that becomes not so nurturing. I always like to have something to snack on while cramming for those final papers, projects and presentations.You’ve heard it before, and you should hear it again — you are what you eat.Especially during the finals crunch, what you choose to munch on can have a great influence on how you feel, think and even retain information. With 10-30 percent of our grades on the line, finals are a time where we need whatever tricks we can get.Brain foods that boost our function on test days are one way to make the high test scores you want one step closer.Finish the semester by conjuring up some brain-boosting delicacies.Happy finals.Green TeaThere is a reason why this powerful Asian remedy dating back thousands of years has been used to heal and treat different symptoms and regulate the body. Green tea is known to have a positive effect on the heart and digestive system and regulate metabolism. It contains a key ingredient, polyphenols, that protect the brain and act as a mood enhancer. Enjoying a hot cup of green tea before a test will put you in a better mental state and is an effective measure in preventing self-doubt or worry during an exam.Dark ChocolateWho knew that our favorite South American find, the cocoa bean, would be a beneficial booster during test week? High in antioxidants and an efficient source of caffeine, dark chocolate protects the body from cell damage and can improve blood circulation and lower blood pressure. In a stressful test environment, the natural caffeine stimulant can keep you focused and concentrated when you sit down to take the test. While too much caffeine might make you shaky and sick, a piece of dark chocolate is a natural source of energy that will have you feeling mighty fine.BerriesA personal favorite, açaí berries are considered one of the best brain foods around. Found in South America, açaí palms have been called “trees of life.” These berries enhance cognitive abilities to keep you alive, awake and alert with their high dose of Omega-3 fatty acids, vitamins and source of protein. Try an açaí berry shake in the morning to have you ready to rock for the rest of the day.GumPopping in a piece of gum before a test may not be a bad idea. One scientific study found that chewing gum before a test improved scores. Chewing gum helps circulate blood to the head and may improve memory recall. Pop in a piece of peppermint gum, another ingredient proven to help with test performance, and enhance your brain function.Just remember to chew with your mouth closed.EggsWhether you like them sunny-side up to meet an 8 a.m. deadline or scrambled with a piece of whole-grain toast, eggs are a super food that is sure to enhance your productivity. Choline, a vitamin-like nutrient, has been found to improve memory and help with information recall during a test. During the days leading up to your test, prepare a few eggs and mix in some leafy greens and veggies for a delicious omelet.Experiment with different recipes and combinations, and you might even be able to solve the chicken or egg origin question after a few daily doses.— espitzer@indiana.edu
(11/27/12 3:30am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>I am always reminded of my gratitude for international cuisine during Thanksgiving, when food filling the table captures the essence of the holiday spirit. Turkey overflowing with carbo-licious stuffing, several servings of side dishes, sauces and sweets are what we first indulge in as we recognize the gifts given to us. This break, I was reminded of my appreciative attitude for diverse cuisine when I attended the annual Indy International Festival.This year’s festival was the weekend before Thanksgiving at the Indiana State Fairgrounds, where multiple vendors mingled with festival attendees in a room filled with international flags. Each display highlighted the most attractive accents of each culture through cuisine, costumes, artistic displays, song and dance. Going from vendor to vendor, taking in the delicious, authentic smells and watching the efficient workers practice their mastered culinary techniques, I felt I was given another outstanding opportunity to travel the globe all in one place.Starting in the Caribbean, I made my way through cuisines from Jamaica, the Netherlands, Poland, Italy, Egypt, India and China. Walking from booth to booth, each vendor was willing to share the sources of their items and explain what role each cuisine played in daily or celebratory culture. I had the chance to explore culture with my eyes, ears and taste buds. Trying fried plantain, fresh gelato and lo mein all under one roof left me with plenty of conversations, recipes, stories and new favorites.This week, I’ll leave you with two of my favorites: a satiating Egyptian stew called Bamia and a sweet and savory Dutch dessert, Poffertijes, or mini pancakes. A favorite Egyptian stew, Bamia, literally meaning okra, is found in several Middle Eastern countries. Okra, originally from South Asia and West Africa, can be added to traditional vegetable stews. Often served with rice as a main dish, Bamia is a remedy for cold weather that has been adapted into different versions in different countries, including Egypt, Saudi Arabia and Iraq. Heat up one cup of olive oil and add one tablespoon of salt. Add one cup of chopped onion and five cloves of chopped garlic. Add one pound of beef sirloin, cut into cubed pieces. Allow the beef to cook for about five to ten minutes, and set the mixture aside.Stir two cups of tomato sauce and two tablespoons of tomato paste together with two tablespoons of olive oil and one teaspoon of salt. Add two cups of water, a teaspoon of white pepper and coriander and a tablespoon of cumin. Bring the mixture to a boil, and add two cups of frozen okra. Allow the mixture to simmer until the okra is tender, about 40 minutes. Add the beef and mix on low heat for 10 minutes. Remove the stew from heat, and add a pinch of salt and hot sauce before serving. This recipe pairs well with basmati rice and salad.A sweet dessert that left me hungry for more was Dutch Poffertijes, also known as mini pancakes . These are prepared on a special hot iron pan used to craft the mini pancakes into a fluffy, bite-sized serving. Sold at many Dutch festivals, these treats are often made in large batches. Quickly crafted, the pancakes sit on the pan for only a minute before they are flipped with two small forks and cooked to perfection. The light pancakes are soft and often described as sponge-like. They can be paired with powdered sugar, sweet syrups or fruit garnish. The baby pancakes are best served when made fresh in a Poffertje pan. You can buy a small-scale pancake pan and make this delicacy yourself. Before getting caught up in the long winter and finals, treat yourself to an international recipe for a look at the dishes for which people in other cultures are thankful.
(11/27/12 2:20am)
Yarnin Gal, the vendor at the mini pancake station at the international festival, quickly flips Dutch pancakes called Poffertjes. Vendors representing over 50 different nations and cultures took part in the Indy International Festival the weekend before Thanksgiving.
(11/14/12 3:45am)
____simple_html_dom__voku__html_wrapper____>Whether it’s friends, family, home-cooked food, a successful year, IU basketball or a week of vacation, there are plenty of things to be thankful for at the Thanksgiving table.No meal can compare to the colorful dishes that complete the table during the Thanksgiving holiday, accentuating everyone’s gratitude with warm food and good vibes.My favorite dish is one full of flavor to complete the feast — stuffing.While there are only so many ways you can cook a turkey or mash up potatoes, stuffing is where creative inventions can be put to the test.With a whole week off this year, it’s time to create a festive dish to be devoured during Thanksgiving dinner.Whether you prefer sweet instead of salty or spicy more than subtle, try one of these rich recipes. Experiment with different starches such as rice, oatmeal, potatoes and bread. Next, select your favorite mix-ins such as sausage, goat cheese, pears or zucchini.For a sweeter side dish, add brown sugar, candied nuts or caramelized onions. For an herby taste, you can’t go wrong with fresh rosemary, thyme or sage. With a little extra creativity and a touch of TLC, these thanks-worthy stuffings will even make you grateful for the following food coma.Happy Thanksgiving.1. Cornbread and caramelized onion stuffingUse six servings of cornbread, two onions and a few twigs of rosemary. Over medium heat, stir in a stick of melted butter, a cup of chicken stock and an egg. Shake in a tablespoon of salt and pepper. Bake at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes.2. Apple and cranberry stuffing For a fruity addition to your festive meal, try this recipe with chopped apples, cranberries and onions. Cut sourdough bread into cubes until you have reached 10 cups. Heat one cup of butter, a cup of celery and a cup of chopped sweet onions in a skillet. Stir in three cups of diced apples and one cup of dried cranberries. Bake at 375 degrees for 20 minutes or until golden brown.3. Sweet Challah stuffingUse this traditional braided bread to make for an extra tasty combination. Tear one loaf of challah bread. Heat two sticks of butter, stir in three tablespoons of honey and a cup of dried raisins before adding the challah. For an extra crunch, try adding in a cup of chopped up walnuts or pecans.4. Pumpkin stuffingCombine everyone’s favorite ingredients and make a stuffing as perfect as pumpkin pie. To make this dish, use half a loaf of torn white bread, a quarter cup of chopped thyme and sage, a cup of diced sweet onions and two cups of diced pumpkin. Cut a medium pumpkin in half and roast in the oven for about 30 minutes until tender at 400 degrees. Mix the prepared pumpkin, sage, rosemary, bread and sweet onions over heated butter, one cup of chicken stock and one tablespoon of sugar. Heat the oven to 350 degrees and cook for 35 minutes or until golden.5. Apricot stuffing Cut a loaf of your favorite bread into chunks and mix with one cup of chopped leeks, one cup of diced apples and one cup of dried apricots. Add some toasted hazelnuts and mix with one cup of chicken stock, one half cup melted butter and a pinch of salt and pepper. Bake in a pan for 30 minutes at 375 degrees.— espitzer@indiana.edu