Jesse's Just Picking the Emmys

By Jesse Pasternack
Published Sep 20, 2015 5:26 pm

8:00 I'm glad Yvette Nicole Brown is in this pre-taped bit. 

8:01 Now Andy Samberg is singing about how he has to catch up on TV shows that I haven't watched either. Essentially a longer, funnier musical version of a Neil Patrick bit from when he hosted the Emmys. 

8:02 Now a bearded Will Forte is singing "Les Miserables" as Javert. I like this bit a lot.

8:04 Wait, Wives with Knives is a real show? That sounds like something the writers of "The Tonight Show" would make up.   

8:05 Jon Hamm liked that "Back To The Future II" joke. I can tell because he smiled. 

8:11 Samberg just noted that Jon Hamm is nominated for "Mad Men" for the last time this year. I've only finished season one, and even I know that he should win this. 

8:15 Allison Janney wins for Outstanding Supporting Actress in a comedy series. Her sweet and partially sung speech makes me glad she won. I still think Kate McKinnon should have won, but if anyone else had to win I'm glad it was Allison Janney. 

8:24 "Veep" finally won an Emmy for Outstanding Writing for a Comedy Series! It's such a funny show. 

8:27 Ricky Gervais won the Oscar he mentioned for playing Daniel Day-Lewis playing Abraham Lincoln. He was astounding. 

8:28 Tony Hale won. He's not as high energy as Titus Burgess but he's an excellent actor. I like how appreciative he seems. 

8:36 I like Bradley Whitford's hat. It makes him look like a 1940s newsman. 

8:38 I've only seen the pilot for "Transparent," but I loved it. Congratulations, Jill Soloway! Her speech is great and a reminder of how far we have to go until transgender people have full equality.  

8:43 Jeffrey Tambor wins for Outstanding Lead Actor in a Comedy Series. I really need to catch up on "Transparent." If the rest of it is as good as his speech I'm in for some great television. 

8:53 Amy Poehler better win. 

8:54 Julia Louis-Dreyfus won for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series. I love "Veep," but I really wanted Poehler to win. "Parks and Recreation" is so good.  

8:59 Amy Poehler has never won an Emmy for playing Leslie Knope. Orson Welles never won an Oscar for directing or acting. She's in good company. 

9:04 Look at James Corden hyping up the crowd for Ernst & Young. If this doesn't make kids want to be accountants, nothing will. 

9:07 Jane Anderson high fives people happily as she runs up to get her Emmy for Outstanding Writing for a Limited Series, Movie, or Dramatic Special for the miniseries Olive Kitteridge. I'll watch any miniseries where the writer high fives people at an awards show. 

9:25 Bill Murray isn't at the 2015 Emmys to accept his award for Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Limited Series. Let the sightings begin!

9:26 Of course Jerry Gergich - I mean Jim O'Heir - gets stabbed with an Emmy in a pre taped bit. Of course. 

9:33 I like this Carpet-Cam bit. I feel like it reflects the influence of "Comedy Bang! Bang!" host Scott Aukerman, who is writing for this Emmy's broadcast. 

9:35 As of this moment Richard Jenkins has won an Emmy, been nominated for an Oscar, and had a crucial supporting role in "Step Brothers." This has been Richard Jenkins Facts with Jesse Pasternack. 

9:42 Olive Kitteridge won Outstanding Limited Series. The people who run the Emmys REALLY want you to see "Olive Kitteridge."  

9:51 "The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" won Outstanding Writing for a Variety Series. It will be missed. Elliott Kalan gave a great speech. He just left The Daily Show and I can't wait to see what he does next.  

9:54 I'm so glad that Inside Amy Schumer won an Emmy for Best Variety Series. It reminds me that I have to watch their episode-long riff on "12 Angry Men."

10:07 Stephen Colbert had a beard in between talk shows, just like Jon Stewart does. Conan O'Brien had a beard too. Is there some kind of clause in their contracts saying they have to be clean shaven? 

10:11 Reg E. Cathey has the best voice. He should read all of the nominees names. 

10:16 Nice to see Ray Parker, Jr. at the Emmys. I still wish he would do this Key & Peele bit for real:

10:40 Jon Hamm won for playing Don Draper! Finally! And he climbs on the stage in a funny manner! And they're giving him a standing ovation! What a great moment. 

10:44 Viola Davis wins Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama. I haven't seen "How To Get Away With Murder," and she doesn't play 8 characters like Tatiana Maslany, but she quoted Harriet Tubman and delivers a powerful message about diversity. She's also the first woman of color to ever win an Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Drama. I'm glad she won. 

10:52 What!?! Not "Parks and Recreation?" Veep will be back next year! I haven't seen this season of "Silicon Valley" yet but it deserved some type of Emmy. Nothing for "Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt!?" One of the best freshman comedy seasons I've seen? Oh well, at least it wasn't "Modern Family" again. This Armando Ianucci speech is pretty good. I did enjoy this season of "Veep." Got to look on the bright side. 

10:54 Welcome back, Tracy Morgan. I'm happy to know you're better. 

10:58 I'm surprised. I thought that "Mad Men" was going to win. I've never watched "Game of Thrones."

10:59 That's the end of the 2015 Emmys. It was a good show. Thanks so much for reading this blog!  

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