TV Recap: ‘House,’ “Teamwork”

Man, screw this show.

I used to think the criticisms of the show’s writers were a little too harsh during season’s four and five, and after the season premiere I thought I was vindicated. Well ever since the writers have done a bang-up of job of making me look like a fool. And I don’t like to be made a fool of, so screw you David Shore. Screw you Katie Jacobs.

I will probably never stop watch House because I’m a masochist who has to see things through to the end, but this is the closest I’ve ever came to wanting to stop watching a show that didn’t involve Heroes. If it wasn’t for Taub, I would be so much more angry right now.  

So, Cameron’s gone. Like for good.

And just in case we might not feel good about Jennifer Morrison leaving after being screwed for two seasons, the writers just assassinated the character of Cameron in her final appearance to make certain that we don’t miss her. Or at least that version of her. Cameron has always been the “good one” who wanted to help people, find the good in them, etc. But over the last two weeks, all we’ve seen is her be a suspicious, judgmental bitch. After she forced her personal problems on to a guy partially attached to the case last week, she turned into a stuffy prude towards this week’s — a porn star.

Oh, and Cameron’s reasons for leaving don’t really make sense either. After deciding to support and forgive Chase in an obviously terrible situation, House’s interfering — we’ll get to this, oh boy will we get to this — leads Cameron to end up breaking it off with Chase, with House and with Princeton-Plainsboro. You know, because actually the whole Dibala murder was House’s fault for creating an environment of  “do whatever it takes to solve the puzzle” and general disregard for human life. RIGHT. Because it was House who almost killed Dibala in the first place and continuously said that he deserved to die. Yeah that was House. Oh wait, that was actually YOU ALTERNATE-UNIVERSE-DUMB-CAMERON.

She also called House a monster, but then kissed him. Okay. And noted that Chase is now ruined. Um, except for the fact that before he worked with House, Chase was brown-nosing Australian fuck who couldn’t take a stand on anything. Sure, he killed a guy. But A.) if there’s ever a situation where you off someone, this is probably it and B.) he did it partially because of your whining. AND, of the three original team members, Chase has absolutely grown the most. Foreman is as bone-dry boring as he was on Day 1* and your still an intelligent woman with a savior complex. But Chase actually stands up for himself now. He makes decisions. HE KILLED A GUY. That’s change you can believe in.

*You know something is wrong when a throwaway, dead-pan “uh…we’ll miss you” by Foreman is the second best part of the episode.

So goodbye Alternate-Universe-Dumb-Cameron. I won’t miss you, but not because the writers want me to just love Thirteen instead. I won’t miss you because you’re a ranting idiot and a former shell of the woman you’re supposed to be.

Speaking of not being who you’re supposed to be, what the hell House? Remember how we’ve spent the whole season pushing for House to change and him actually doing it, even if it was in his own way? Well, “Teamwork” assassinated all that as well, as Chase and Cameron’s initial decision to leave the hospital immediately* coincided with House getting his medical license back, which then allowed him to play a manipulative game with four people who didn’t even want to work with him — you know, just cuz.

*I also “loved” how the two of them were so adamant about leaving immediately and then just a “c’mon you owe me” phrase from Foreman got them to stay. You bring up a good point, Eric. We’ll stay. COME ON.

Why in the hell would even S3/S4 House want to break up Chase and Cameron’s marriage just for some workplace jollies? He clearly cares about both of them, isn’t involved with Cameron anymore, so what the hell? Throughout this episode he continuously messed with both of their heads and probably eventually caused the break-up by convincing both of them that it was his fault. AND THEN Chase just decides to join the team and when House asks him what it will do to his marriage, he seems completely ambivalent to the consequences. You know, because when you have the opportunity to re-join the team of a man who barely shows you respect, fired you once before and is in the process of breaking up your marriage, you have to do it, no matter if the woman you’ve loved for half a decade cares or not.

On top of that, he pursued both Taub and Thirteen to compete for the job as well, even though they didn’t really want it. Except that they did. That’s absolutely fine with me because they left based on circumstances that had nothing to do with House, but then why continue to push Chase and Cameron to join up as well, as if he wouldn’t keep them both? He worked with three fellows for three years and has for the past five weeks as well, why does he suddenly need four?

I’ll tell you why — because this whole freaking episode was full of manufactured drama. For a show in its sixth year, you shouldn’t have to do that. There is enough ground to cover that something real could have come out of Cameron leaving Chase or even having Thirteen and Taub back. But no, instead, we get to see three of the show’s original characters acting like complete morons and nothing like the people they’re supposed to be. Pathetic. This is by far the worst episode in the series. YES, even worse than the 100th episode that featured a vomit-inducing amount of Fore-Teen.

• Don’t even get me started on how awkward/lame/weird/dumb/uncreative the Lucas-Cuddy and Lucas-House scenes were in this one. Let’s just say they were as bad as the rest of the episode.
• If I start an online petition for a show featuring only House, Taub and Wilson, would you sign it?

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