TV Recap: ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia,’ “Paddy’s Pub: Home of the Original Kitten Mittens”
November 6th, 2009 by 
Alli Krupp
Are you tired of your cat walking around like Godzilla? Are you tired of hearing scratching sound on your window all the night long? Then you better look into Charlie’s latest and best idea since trying to find the hidden tunnel at the baseball stadium: Kitten Mittens. This merchandizing opportunity opens the pub to new profit ideas, and the competition for the best idea begins!
Dee realizes amongst all the commotion that in the original contract she signed for Paddy’s Pub, she agreed to receive 100% of all merchandizing profit. Mac asks for proof, and Dee produces a document from the back drawer. Instantly, Mac cleverly but immaturely snags the paper and eats it whole.
Immediately, Dee and Charlie rush to the Lawyer. Dee wants a new contract, and Charlie wants a patent for his kitten mittens. Although the lawyer has banned them from his office, they manage to lock the secretary in a closet and sneak in. The lawyer, however, refuses to work with them.
Meanwhile, Frank, Mac, and Dennis attempt to come up with some really excellent merchandizing ideas. Frank walks into the room with a big-breasted prostitute and a hand gun. He points it in Macs face and the prostitute splashes a shot of brandy onto his face. Get it, Frank says, a real shot!
They just can’t get the mechanics worked out yet, so they will rely on the china-men when they begin selling the product.
Charlie and Dee decide to spy on the Lawyer in an attempt to blackmail him into helping them. Unfortunately, when they think he goes to a hotel to cheat on his wife, he breaks down and tells them that she is leaving him. How can they help him?
Out of generosity, they hire a prostitute for their next “appointment.”
Mac and Dennis decide to copy Frank’s idea but with a bigger breasted woman and a shotgun. While Charlie and Dee are introducing the Lawyer to their “prostitute,” Mac and Dennis rush in with their own prostitute and their shotgun idea hoping to patent it from Frank’s idea. Soon after, Frank rushes in with his own prostitute, and mass chaos ensues.
Lucky for the gang, the Lawyer agrees to draw up a document for them. They sign it blindly and go on their way.
They find out later, however, that the Lawyer has given himself 100% of all merchandizing profits. So, when kitten mittens finally take off, Charlie is incredibly disappointed.
“You out-lawyered me, pal,” he said.
