If you can’t beat em, make your own dictionary!

In case you’ve lived on a secluded island for the last couple of years, in which case, Hello! And how can I get there?, you have probably heard of Conservapedia, brainemptyshell project of Andrew Schlafly, son of historically unimportant right wing non figure Phyllis Schlafly, a woman unaware of the irony of a woman opposing the ERA. An examination of their “Commandments” reveals criminal prosecutions to the fullest extent for anyone who may change their site around. This includes

Vandalism is punishable up to 10 years in jail per 18 USC § 1030. Harassment is punishable by 2 years in jail per 47 USC § 223. The IP addresses of vandals will be reported to authorities. That includes your employer and your local prosecutor.

That’s utter professionalism. The phrasing sounds like the same language used by the people who try to prosecute you for walking on “their” sidewalk. I’m sure federal authorities are just itching to arrest the SOB who vandalizes conservapedias well written articles on ID, and liberalism.

I can just imagine the conversations between the police “Hey Bob, we’ve got a 10 22 at the Johnson residence. ” “Again? I’ll teach him to doubt creationism, get your tazer, this’ll be fun.”

And on top of prosecution, they will report this to your employer.  I’m not sure where or how they know who your employer is, or where they think they have legal rights to tell them, but it does set interesting precedent as well.

“Johnson, step into my office.”

‘”Yes, Sir.”

“How long have you been with us now, Johnson?”

“Ten years, Jim.”

“Yeah, it’s been a great ten years. And I want to thank you for everything you’ve done. But we’re going to have to let you go.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand, why?”

“Well, I’m sorry Jon, but it turns out, you’ve been going around editing Conservapedia articles, and making fun of Andrew Schafly on his own site. We just can’t have that sort here at the office. I apologize. I’ll accept your resignation at the end of the day. I’ll give you a good letter of recommendation though. You don’t have to clean your desk out until friday.”

It appears Andrew Schafly’s understanding of the law is about as accurate as his sites understanding of evolution, or well…anything really. I’m not sure that just because you’re a crybaby because you got picked on because your mom’s a lunatic that it gives you carte blanche to have anyone who doesn’t believe in young earth arrested. But what do I know, being one of those biased liberal secular humanists. I need to go hug a terrorist.