“I had this admiration for kids that were older than me, and at that point I was very interested in exploring this more,” Maestre said.
Originally from Ecuador, Maestre, a first year doctoral student in the School of Informatics, shared his story of growing up as a gay boy in a very different culture compared to that of the United States as part of the first meeting of the year for GLoBal TAlks.
Students came together to share their stories in a safe forum Tuesday night.
GLoBal TAlks is a group where international and American students can discuss issues of sexuality and gender identity. The group was started by the Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender Student Support Services in efforts to get people interested in global GLBT issues and have students share their stories related to international diversity.
The group started to form last fall and is still in the process of building its initial base.
“We understand international students have a lot of things to deal with, and this one is one that students don’t particularly want to deal with,” said Doug Bauder, office coordinator of GLBTSSS. “We wanted to have a space that people didn’t need to identify to be part of.”
Saul Blanco, a lecturer in the School of Informatics, approached Bauder last year to get involved on campus in some way.
Blanco, originally from El Salvador, said he felt a great connection to international GLBT issues and became the facilitator of the group.
Blanco said he wanted to create a space for people to share their stories, although it is very difficult given the demographic.
“Once you accept yourself, then you are able to talk about it,” Blanco said.
Maestre’s story was the premise of the event. He started by going through his academic journey to IU, and then he went through his life as accepting himself for who he truly was all along.
Maestre came to IU for the doctoral program in informatics from the University of Iowa, where he completed his master’s degree in computer science. Originally, he had no intentions of being in the U.S. at all, but due to a misunderstanding about a scholarship, Maestre ended up going to the states for school after spending time in London.
“In the fifth grade is when I started realizing how I was different,” Maestre said.
Maestre said he recalled starting to write the name Ricardo over all of his notebooks in a subconscious manner. Ricardo was a name of a boy in his class at the time who happened to be very athletic and masculine.
“I never felt any shame or guilt,” Maestre said. “It was a completely private awareness of not fitting the so-called norm.”
It wasn’t until his time in London that Maestre started to explore his sexuality and identify as a gay man. He said he realized his feelings were okay and, unlike in the United States, showing his feminine side wasn’t something he was afraid to show in his culture.
Transitioning to his family, Maestre said he lived a very non-religious life, and he said he felt his parents just always knew he was gay. Maestre’s mother became ill with cancer when he came out to his parents, so he said he never felt the need to try to have her understand his situation.
“I can remember once I had a teddy bear in my hands that a boyfriend at the time gave to me,” Maestre said. “My mom said to me ‘I want you to hold a baby, not a teddy bear.’ But I knew she was very sick, and I was happy about who I was, and that’s all I needed.”
Maestre said he never really had any particularly negative experience because he was gay. He concluded his story saying he knows he grew up in a place where people expressed their feelings a lot more than in other cultures.
“People find support in their personal circles, and I know that isn’t always the case,” Maestre said.
Bauder concluded the event saying he hoped this group could be the circle for students who need extra support.
“We have so much to learn from each other, especially across cultures,” Bauder said.
