Ah, pizza. It’s the comfort food for every college student in America and the full-proof method to get students to attend campus events or club callout meetings. Free pizza, you say? I’m there.
It’s how we end our Saturday nights at 3 a.m. calling for delivery and how we begin our Sunday afternoon hangovers with a leftover slice for breakfast.
And we all have our favorite types of pizza from our favorite pizza places. There’s Pizza X, reserved for drunken weekends only — no one eats that stuff sober.
Next, we have the ever-reliable Papa John’s, with its garlic sauce and extra-thick crust. Papa John’s never lets us down.
We gorge on a single slice of Rockit’s Famous Pizza after a Wednesday night at the Bluebird Nightclub and grab Aver’s Gourmet Pizza when we want a special treat.
And last, we have Mother Bears, arguably the best pizza restaurant in Bloomington. There is simply no competitor to the Munchie Madness deal — it’s just too good.
But no matter where you choose to get your fix, apparently the way you eat your pizza can be used to identify your essential personality qualities.
According to body language and human behavior specialist Patti Wood, “everything you do — and the way you do it — comes together to form a story about yourself,” and this includes your pizza-eating preferences.
Are you a driver, an influencer, a supporter or a careful corrector?
For those of us who like to do it New York style, that is folding your pizza in half before biting, you are a “driver.” You are a serious multi-tasker who prefers maximum efficiency, and this apparently reflects in how you eat your pizza.
People who eat the crust first are “influencers,” and they tend to be dramatic, often talk loudly and love getting attention through their actions.
Next we have those who eat their pizza with a fork and a knife. Personally, I believe there are two types of people in the world: those who eat their pizza with a fork and knife, and those who aren’t monsters.
Anyway, these people are “supporters.” They are loyal, reliable and desire to please others. They are less likely to steal that last slice of pizza out of pure politeness. Like I said, monsters.
Lastly, we have those who just eat their pizza like normal people. They are “careful correctors.” Careful correctors are perfectionists who “like to go with what (they) know works so (they’re) certain to get it right every time.” While I didn’t know it was possible to eat pizza incorrectly, at least careful correctors are eating their pizza the way it was supposed to be consumed.
Honestly, this sounds like a cheesy — get it? — addition into how we read our horoscopes. Wood has also claimed the way women put on their bras can reveal their personality type, and researchers at the University of Missouri-Columbia found that there are four types of drunk people.
Whether you read into this stuff or not, sometimes it’s the little things like how we eat our pizza that reveals the most about ourselves.
nrowthor@indiana.edu
