‘Fifty Shades of Grey’
D
Let’s start by making it clear. This review is based solely on what happened in the movie “Fifty Shades of Grey,” and I am not taking into consideration what happened in the book or sequels.
“Fifty Shades of Grey,” the movie, is a poorly thought-out piece of trash.
If you’ve been stranded in a desert for the last three years and haven’t heard, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is a sex-driven romance novel written by E.L. James. It began as a work of fan fiction based off of “Twilight,” so you can imagine the height of my expectations.
But instead of writing mopey, sparkly vampires to carry the story so she didn’t have to put effort into crafting interesting characters, James has bondage, domination, sadism and masochism and characters that are still as flat as the pages they’re written on.
And now it’s a movie. Thanks, Hollywood.
Anastasia Steele is a 22-year-old English literature student in Vancouver, Wash. When her roommate, Kate, gets sick, Ana must take her place in interviewing billionaire businessman Christian Grey.
There is some awkward flirting, and an attraction that makes no sense begins to grow. A few sequences later, Christian is asking Ana to be his submissive.
Christian is a dominant, an individual in a BDSM relationship who takes pleasure in asserting control over his partner, the submissive. For reasons that are never explained, Christian decides he wants Ana to be his next submissive.
Of course, Christian can’t just ask nicely. He slaps a contract in front of Ana, one she must sign in order to have any kind of intimate relationship with Christian. The contract goes into detail defining the terms of their relationship, the types of tools he might use on Ana and the things he can put into her body. It even limits her eating and drinking habits.
Ana is not sold on the idea of signing over the rights of her own body, nor is she overly enthusiastic about the idea of letting a man hit her so he can get his rocks off.
Still, Ana can’t leave Christian. And though Ana resists signing the contract, Christian continues to see Ana and have sex with her. It’s a lot of back and forth, a lot of “He scares me, but I love him so much” and “I’m no good for you, but I just can’t let you go.” Does any of that sound familiar?
If this was a high school drama, that kind of instability would work. But this is two grown adults, and I don’t think I’m asking too much for a little more maturity.
Aside from a weak romance, “Fifty Shades of Grey” is full of moral issues.
For one, the BDSM concerns me. There is no support for Ana. Christian won’t even sleep in the same room with her. There is no care when a BDSM session ends. Christian leaves Ana to take care of herself. I also don’t like that Christian’s idea of easing sexually inexperienced Ana into a BDSM relationship is to use a riding crop during the third time they have sex.
Secondly, Christian is overly possessive and a stalker. He shows up at places to which he has not been invited, and I don’t mean just popping up unannounced at a restaurant. He flies across the country to keep Ana in his sights.
Thirdly, there is a matter of child sexual assault that is never properly addressed in the film. Perhaps it is brought up in a future book, but where the movie sits right now, it was grossly misused as an interesting subplot.
The only things going for “Fifty Shades” are the beautiful cinematography and a killer soundtrack. The storyline is a nightmare.
“Fifty Shades of Grey” is not a love story. It’s a horrific glamorization of an abusive relationship and a reminder that Hollywood producers care little about the effects their products have on an audience as long as their pockets are being lined.
